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Author Topic: When work attacks.  (Read 86381 times)
RummyLu
The PUNisher
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« on: September 13, 2011, 04:54 am »

FUCK YOU MISTER, I GAVE YOU AN HOUR LONG TRAINING REGARDING CHANGING AND ADDING NEW TRANSLATIONS INTO THE APPLICATION. I DO NOT SPEAK GERMAN AND EVEN IF I COULD IT IS NOT MY JOB TO GO THROUGH THE SIX THOUSAND ODD TERMS AND DO THIS FOR YOU. ALSO IF YOU SEND ME ANOTHER EMAIL CONTAINING THE TERM "LOL" I WILL STRANGLE YOU.

WHILE WE ARE AT IT, STOP LYING TO ME ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THE PROGRAM, I CAN SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING THROUGH THE ERROR MESSAGES YOU'RE GENERATING. 

It's liberating, go for gold.

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"Iíll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because heís pulled out."
Captain Bravo
Captain Obvious


Mercenary Prostitute


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« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2011, 06:09 am »

GUESS WHAT PROGRAM DIRECTOR, AFTER CALLING ME AT MIDNIGHT TO BITCH ME OUT ABOUT NOT COVERING THE SET THAT I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO, AND ARGUING WITH ME FOR 15 MINUTES ABOUT HOW I'M THE ONE READING THE SCHEDULE WRONG, YOU DON'T GET TO SEND ME A TEXT THE NEXT DAY SAYING:

"Whoops! Looks like you were right about the scheduling thing, haha. We're good!"

FUCK YOU GIVE ME MY SLEEP BACK YOU BITCH!
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laktose
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SLAM DRUNK


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« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2011, 08:25 am »

OH GREAT ANOTHER CALL FROM A CUSTOMER WHO IS CONVINCED THAT OUR EMAIL SERVER IS DOWN WHEN THE REAL PROBLEM IS THAT THE IDIOT THOUGHT HE WOULD GET HIS MAIL FASTER IF HE CHANGED SOME PORT NUMBERS FOR SOME FUCKING REASON YEAH FINE YELL AT ME BECAUSE THIS IS OBVIOUSLY MY FAULT YOU FUCKING RETARD
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RummyLu
The PUNisher
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« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2011, 08:38 am »

I FEEL YOUR PAIN SO FUCKING HARD LAKTOSE.
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"Iíll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because heís pulled out."
Lukeington
Literally 15


business


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« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2011, 08:43 am »

I'M UNEMPLOOOOOOOOOOOYED
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DiegoInglewood
Sauce Castillo
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« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2011, 10:28 am »

I WORK WITH LITTLE KIDS AND LITERALLY DO GET ATTACKED, YESTERDAY A TINY BLACK GIRL STABBED ME WITH A PENCIL AND BIT MY SHOULDER
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Benny B
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« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2011, 10:29 am »

NO THE PHONE SHIELD WON'T MAKE YOUR PHONE INDESTRUCTIBLE. NO YOU CAN'T DROP THE DISPLAY PHONE TO "TEST" IT. NO THE SHIELD WON'T STAY ON YOUR PHONE FOREVER, THAT IS WHY THERE IS A WARRANTY ON THE MATERIAL AND YOU JUST PAY ME TO PUT IT ON FOR YOU. IT'S LIKE 6 BUCKS FOR A WHOLE NEW THING, CALM DOWN. NO I DON'T OWN THE STORE I JUST HAVE NICE CLOTHES. NO I CAN'T GET YOU A DEAL.

And for my other job

YES YOU NEED BOWLING SHOES TO BOWL AT A BOWLING ALLEY. YES WE CAN RENT YOU SOME SHOES. YES WE SELL SOCKS. NO WE DON'T TAKE THE SOCKS BACK. YES YOU CAN HAVE BUMPERS, THEY'RE AUTOMATIC AND YOU PUT IN WHO GETS THEM AT YOUR LANE. YES, THE COLUMN THAT SAYS "BUMPERS." NOW ARROW OVER. NOW HIT ENTER. NOW DO THAT FOR WHOEVER WANTS THEM. YOU HIT CANCEL. WHY DID YOU HIT CANCEL.

AND NO YOU CAN'T BRING YOUR OWN FOOD AND DRINKS HERE, WE HAVE A RESTAURANT. YES, THERE IS A SIGN ON THE DOOR SAYING THIS. NO I AM NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHY ALLOWING PEOPLE TO BRING THEIR OWN FOOD AND DRINKS INTO A RESTAURANT IS A BAD BUSINESS TACTIC.
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codespyder
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« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2011, 11:19 am »

I ACTUALLY WANT TO START WORK BUT THE PROFESSOR IN CHARGE OF THE COURSE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ASSISTING IS FUCKING COMATOSE

WHEN WORK DOESN'T FUCKING WORK
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laktose
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« Reply #8 on: September 14, 2011, 04:34 am »

HEY BOSS LOOKS LIKE YOUR SOLUTION TO THIS PROBLEM DOESN'T WORK AND WE'LL HAVE TO DO IT THE WAY I WANTED TO DO IT OH YEAH THAT IS ENTIRELY MY FAULT AND SOMEHOW THE GOOD SOLUTION WAS NOW YOUR IDEA WHILE I AM THE ONE WHO SUGGESTED THE THING THAT WOULDN'T WORK SO SORRY FOR WASTING TIME THERE BOSS OH WHAT AN ASSHOLE I AM
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Alderaan
I love purple!
Nevermind, Just Another Jerk


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« Reply #9 on: September 14, 2011, 07:24 am »

VISHNU THE FUCKING DESTROYER, PEOPLE. WE ALREADY GIVE YOU A FREE SAMPLE EVERY. TIME. YOU. COME. HERE. YOU ALSO HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING REWARDS CARD THAT GETS YOU A FREE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE EVERY MONTH. SO PLEASE FORGIVE THE FUCK OUT OF ME THAT THE GODDAMNED DIPPED STRAWBERRIES AREN'T SAMPLES. OR THE MACAROONS.

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THAT EVERYTHING NOT NAILED DOWN IN THIS SHOP IS A SAMPLE, YOU KNOBGOBBLING MOUTH-BREATHERS? DO YOU WALK INTO A SHOE STORE, PICK UP THE NEAREST DISPLAY, AND GO "HEY, IS THIS A SAMPLE?"

OH, AND ONE MORE THING. IF THE CHOCOLATE SEEMS TOO EXPENSIVE FOR YOU, IT PROBABLY IS. GODIVA CHOCOLATE IS A MOTHERFUCKING LUXURY ITEM. YES, IT IS $50 A POUND. YOUR CHALLENGING STARE ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ME LOWER THE PRICE, ANY MORE THAN THE LADY AT THE COACH STORE IS GOING TO LOWER THE PRICE OF THAT HANDBAG TO MATCH THE KNOCKOFF AT THE DODGY PURSE STALL.

AND AFTER NEXT WEEK YOU GREEDY FUCKERS ARE NO LONGER MY PROBLEM.

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
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SteelFan714
Bandage Sniffer
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« Reply #10 on: September 14, 2011, 07:42 am »

SOMETIMES WHEN I AM TRYING TO WRITE I WILL ACCIDENTALLY HIT THE CAPS LOCK KEY INSTEAD OF THE "A" KEY BECAUSE MY KEYBOARD IS ODDLY SHAPED. THIS IS REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING WHEN YOU ARE DOING THE WRITING FOR SERIOUS MONEY-MAKING BUSINESS nd then you need to go back and retype what you just wrote.
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boron
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let me live my anime life


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« Reply #11 on: September 14, 2011, 12:02 pm »

The other day some lady came into the gap and asked me to hold some pants for her for later, and she like totally never came back
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Fiction
I'M GONE STING
Posthulhu



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« Reply #12 on: September 14, 2011, 01:55 pm »

GODDAMNIT LADY AT MY WORKPLACE SHIVA IS THE FUCKING DESTROYER NOT VISHNU

VISHNU IS THE FUCKING PROTECTOR
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Alderaan
I love purple!
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« Reply #13 on: September 15, 2011, 06:21 am »

VISHNU HATES FREEBIE PIGS SO MUCH HE STARTED DESTROYING

IT'S TRUE
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RummyLu
The PUNisher
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« Reply #14 on: September 15, 2011, 08:11 am »

THE REASON I NO LONGER EMAIL YOU DIRECTLY AND ONLY EMAIL YOU VIA YOUR MANAGER IS BECAUSE YOU ARE A MASSIVE ASSHOLE. UNSURPRISINGLY IT IS THE SAME REASON AS WHY YOUR COLLEAGUES REFUSE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU FACE TO FACE.

I DO, HOWEVER, APPRECIATE THAT YOUR EMAILS OF RAGE DO NOT CONTAIN "LOL," YOU ARE EVOLVING.
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"Iíll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because heís pulled out."
Illiterati
sex fucker
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« Reply #15 on: September 15, 2011, 08:23 am »

HEY WORK I KNOW YOU ARE PAYING ME A MANAGER'S SALARY FOR A PEON'S JOB, BUT PLEASE GIVE ME SOME NEW STUFF TO DO I AM GETTING BORED AND THIS CLOSE TO QUITTING
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RummyLu
The PUNisher
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« Reply #16 on: September 22, 2011, 04:43 am »

THE SOFTWARE DOES NOT MAGICALLY CHANGE JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE IN KAZAKHSTAN. I AM SAT HERE IN YOUR LOCAL OFFICES WORKING ON THE EXACT SAME FUCKING SYSTEM. IF YOU MAKE ME FLY THERE THIS AFTERNOON TO SORT OUT WHAT WILL INEVITABLY BE SOME RETARDED ISSUE WITH YOUR USER'S BROWSER OR RESOLUTION SETTINGS THERE WILL BE NO INTERNET BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN MY FURY.
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"Iíll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because heís pulled out."
HyperGlavin
bridge and tunnel dyke
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I'm a cool guy irl


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« Reply #17 on: September 22, 2011, 06:52 am »

Yeah, it can barely fit the rest of you as it is.
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Yes, come on, get a dog up you, you rapscallion.
RummyLu
The PUNisher
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« Reply #18 on: September 22, 2011, 07:05 am »

I'M BUILT FOR COMFORT NOT FOR SPEED, YOU ASSHOLE.
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"Iíll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because heís pulled out."
HyperGlavin
bridge and tunnel dyke
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I'm a cool guy irl


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« Reply #19 on: September 22, 2011, 07:19 am »

Yeah, and you can seat fifty with ample leg room.
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Yes, come on, get a dog up you, you rapscallion.
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