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Author Topic: Bugdemic.  (Read 2792 times)
Mindy
Nevermind, Just Another Jerk



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« on: October 11, 2010, 12:58 pm »

For the past month I have waged an all-out war with legions of tiny light brown bugs I can't identify, and there isn't a camera in the place that would effectively photograph them. For those unaware, I work at a pond supply store- we're pretty sure they came in with a shipment of fish food that was stacked beside my desk for a few weeks. One day I looked at the (white) boxes and goddamn, there were easily hundreds crawling all over it. The boxes were disposed of, the bagged contents cleaned, but it was too late. Now I have to spend the first 10 or 15 minutes of every morning getting rid of the current batch, and I eat my lunch in my car.

They've taken over my desk, and the shelf next to me, and nobody in the office seems to think it is enough of a problem to help me get rid of them, thus making my shitty job even shittier. Dicks.

They don't jump or fly and seem to spend most of their time on the light colored papers and objects on my desk. As for appearance, from what I can tell they have two segments- head, and a body two or three times the length of the head. Overall I'd say they're roughly 1/16th of an inch.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? And if so, how the FUCK do I get rid of them?
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spermus
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« Reply #1 on: October 11, 2010, 02:13 pm »

What have you tried already? Have you tried Raid already?
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fermun
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« Reply #2 on: October 11, 2010, 02:17 pm »

Get a few of those do-it-yourself fumigator things, open them up, go on a smoke break, and hope that your coworkers survive but the bugs don't.
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Mindy
Nevermind, Just Another Jerk



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« Reply #3 on: October 11, 2010, 03:25 pm »

My hope was that there was some non-toxic-to-humans thing I could sprinkle on my desk or something. I can't make everyone leave the office to bug bomb it, and really I don't want to buy the shit myself anyway.

I should just make sure some end up in the horrible cunt's office, wait a week,  then you can bet they'll bomb the place.

Mostly I want to know what they ARE, to start.
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spermus
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« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2010, 03:49 pm »

Once you ID the species, you can engineer a virus to target them.
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Mindy
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« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2010, 04:04 pm »

Once you ID the species, you can engineer a virus to target them.

No, that's where fermun and oball come in.

Don't let me down, guys!
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Mile Star
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« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2010, 04:15 pm »

Whatever you do, don't try to kill them with a nuclear war head IT WON'T WORK.


My work here is done.
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spermus
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« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2010, 04:53 pm »

Bugs can survive an acute radiation dose better than a prolonged continuous one. So if you do go nuclear, you'll want a fallout-heavy warhead, or a dirty bomb, or radioactive poisoning. Poisoning is the least destructive to property, but you'll have to write "Bug Food" on your radioactive poison bag, in the bugs' own language. Once again you'd need to ID the species. A more conventional route would be to kill them with intense thermal radiation by burning the place down.
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Matt
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« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2010, 11:23 pm »

If you can't beat them, join them! Help them to spread to other peoples desks. Once that is successful you can negotiate the return of your land by virtue of having helped them to conquer new territory. Should they be unwilling to co-operate at least now it is everyone's problem.

Judging by your description I'd say you have a case of South African Longhorn beetles and no idea how to use the macro setting on a camera.
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DiegoInglewood
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« Reply #9 on: October 19, 2010, 12:42 am »

Stinkbugs?



We have a fuckton of them here in Maryland and they scare the shit out of me. I'm pretty sure they were introduced a while ago to kill some other species, but the stinkbugs have like no known predators. So they just multiply and fly around and shit and look freaky. Hot days are the worst, that's when I find about forty lining the inside of my car door.

Here's a picture from my bedroom window last month:



Basically there's no good defense for these fuckers. If you smash them, they just smell bad and attract all their friends. And they come in huge groups.

If this was not the bug you were thinking of, press 7
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Mile Star
Sucks at High Fiving


Like Jason Bourne, only retarded


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« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2010, 06:40 am »

We have a shit ton of them in Serbia too. If you don't want to smash them and leave a nasty smell which will attract others, but do want them to disappear, eat them one at a time.
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HyperGlavin
bridge and tunnel dyke
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« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2010, 10:48 am »

See this is why spiders were invented.
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Yes, come on, get a dog up you, you rapscallion.
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