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Author Topic: News Stories That You Love  (Read 82481 times)
Johnny Roastbeef
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« on: July 14, 2010, 04:17 pm »

I'm always finding fun news stories that I enjoy laughing about or taking the piss out of.  Let's have a thread for it.

The NAACP has condemned racism in the Tea Party.

The Tea Party responds by demonstrating that they have nothing worthwhile to say about anything ever.

Quote
"I am disinclined to take lectures on racial sensitivity from a group that insists on calling black people, 'Colored,' " Mark Williams, national spokesman of the Tea Party Express, told CNN.
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nchammer326
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« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2010, 05:57 pm »

From National Review, on Obama's lousy opening pitch at a Nationals game:

Quote
Watching the president throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Nats game yesterday (which you can watch on the homepage), I couldn't help but think of President Bush's first turn at that task. Yankee Stadium in October of 2001, under much different circumstances.

As Bush chatted with the Yanks in their clubhouse before the game, he was reportedly told by Derek Jeter that, if he missed the plate, he'd be booed — "United We Stand" or not.

As you can see, though he was burdened with heavy body armor under his FDNY fleece, Bush didn't miss the plate. He fired a sinker in there for a belt-high strike. Just sayin'.

An excellent rebuttal from Mr. Destructo:

Quote
Sure, Obama never played any kind of organized baseball. Sure, Bush was a lifelong baseball enthusiast who owned a fucking baseball team. The two guys are practically identical in experience. Yet Obama comes up short. Just sayin'. Wait—what's that? Can Bush dunk and post up on a whiteboy? Uh, he pretty obviously can, since I just established their equivalency. My president can beat up your president.

And yes I remember very clearly when the president threw a baseball nine years ago. And yes, of course I remember what he was wearing (it most certainly wasn't shorts). Who wouldn't? What are you suggesting?

This guy does a lot of takedowns on similar articles and they're all hilarious.

Quote
Though it's not a widely appreciated fact, we right-winger sports nuts have long known that the sports press is among the media's leftiest precincts.
Here he just makes shit up right out of the gate. No citation, not even token handwaving. It's just MEDIA=LIBERAL suddenly oriented to sports for no reason other than that McCarthy happens to be writing about sports right now. I'm sure the political orientation of some sportswriters matters to Andrew McCarthy, but nobody else in America knows where most sportswriters fall along the political spectrum because nobody fucking cares.


So I suppose we shouldn't be surprised at how little was said (as in nothing at all) about the reception President Obama received last night when he came out on the field to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the baseball all-star game in St. Louis. It was a packed house (over 50,000 in attendance), and the jeers were easily discernible.
The reasons nothing was said are easily discernible, too, which immediately disqualifies them from appearing in McCarthy's column:

1. St. Louis' baseball rival team is the Chicago Cubs, and while antipathy is mostly directed at that team, St. Louis fans hate Chicago in general. This rivalry goes back decades. Obama is from Chicago. Obama stood on the mound wearing a Chicago White Sox jersey. In St. Louis. In the ballpark for the St. Louis baseball team. He is a man from Chicago wearing a Chicago jersey in the home stadium of people who hate Chicago.

2. Missouri's a really white state.
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fermun
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« Reply #2 on: July 16, 2010, 01:14 am »

more from Mark Williams, the guy that JRB mentioned:

Quote from: Mark Williams
Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don't cotton to that whole emancipation thing.  Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards.  That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week.  We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the 'tea party movement'.

The tea party position to "end the bailouts" for example is just silly.  Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn't that what we want all Coloreds to strive for?  What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare?  What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds!  Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of "reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government."  What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life?  As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government "stop the out of control spending."  Again, they directly target Colored People.  That means we Colored People would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government "stop raising our taxes."  That is outrageous!    How will we Colored People ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn?  Totally racist!  The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever.  We had a great gig.  Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house.  Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.

Sincerely

Precious Ben Jealous, Tom's Nephew  National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Head Colored Person

Right after that, Tim Wise, a well-known anti-racism activist posted this in the comments. It's rather long, but Mark Williams replies to this so I thought I'd toss in the full comment so that you can see what he's replying to.
Quote from: Tim Wise
July 15, 2010 at 3:43 PM
Not that I expect you to care about my views Mark, as I am no supporter of the Tea Party, but for the sake of civil discourse, would you at least be willing to engage in a brief dialogue here about your position, and this “letter?” Preferably by a) not deleting this message or editing it in any way, and b) responding calmly and rationally to it?

Here’s the thing: it is perfectly legitimate of course to take a “limited government” position, or an anti-tax position. And such positions absolutely do not make a person a racist. Certainly not in isolation.

What I mean by this is that if one supports limited government and tax cuts because that person believes “black people are welfare leeches who are soaking up all the government money” then THAT would be a) absurdly inaccurate, and b) racist in that it is rooted in profound racial resentment. But a generic belief in small government and low taxes? No problem there. These positions could and no doubt would exist even if everyone in a society were the same color. And frankly, none of us who have been critical of the TP movement have said otherwise to my knowledge.

More central to the critique have been some of the blatantly racist signs at rallies, or the birther nonsense, or some of your own racialized and seemingly prejudiced rhetoric about Obama being an “Indonesian Muslim” and “welfare thug.” To the extent welfare is a pretty racialized concept in this society (and frankly, post 9/11 even Islam has been racialized in the public imagination in many ways) surely you can see why that would be viewed as racially insensitive, no?

Anyway, you are right of course to argue that the folks with the racist signs are a minority in the movement. True. And the folks sending around the racist emails with the president with the bone thru his nose, or the white house lawn covered in watermelons are a minority. But they are a visible and loud one. And some of us find it odd that there has never been a clear attempt by you or any other TP figure in a position of prominence to tell folks like that “we do not want you in our movement. We don’t want you at our rallies.” This, despite the fact that before the march in DC in 09 there was advice on the 912 website advising protesters to dress properly for the heat and “not to bring water pistols.” So, water pistols were worth telling folks not to bring, but not birther signs and racist signs, and crazy stuff like that.

Okey doke…

As for the NAACP: to call them racist for their name is the height of ignorance, and you must surely know it. The group formed in 1909, at which time that was the term. Now, perhaps they could have changed their name, but for the sake of organizational continuity most groups don’t do that. There is a proud history behind that group, as surely you must recognize. Needless to say, NAACP members don’t go around calling themselves colored or other folks colored in conversation. It is simply the name so as to demonstrate the longevity of one of the nation’s premier civil rights groups.

Secondly, this letter, as many of your other commenters above have noted is highly insensitive (not just un-PC), and can easily be construed as racist. To begin, you trip every stereotype about black people being lazy, wanting flat screen TVs with taxpayer dollars, and not wanting to work, etc so as to make your point. How is that not racist? (Aside from being inaccurate in terms of what black folks’ values actually are).

And even more, the idea that black people want to be “government pets” is insulting as hell. Think about this Mark: what do you make of the fact that most black people do in fact support liberal policies when it comes to safety net programs, taxation, etc., and that most do not agree with your side? I mean, either you have to believe that they are just inherently lazy and want to be taken care of, rather than work–which is a racist view applied to blacks as a group–or that they are so inherently stupid that they can’t resist the siren song of liberal groups like the NAACP or whomever. But that too is a racist argument: to suggest that blacks can be so easily fooled and can’t think straight is racist. Period.

You trip this trope again when you say in the comment thread above that you don’t care about offending the “least common denominator” who are “the current administration’s power base and are kept like favored house pets.” Considering that you had just previously referenced “colored folks” desire to be kept like pets, and given that the President’s biggest support base is with black folks–true–this must mean that you view black people as the nation’s (or perhaps humanity’s) “least common denominator” about whom you don’t care.

Fair enough, but don’t be shocked when people view this as racism.

Can’t you simply make your argument without resorting to this kind of thing? I mean personally I don’t much care, because people like you make it easier for those of us on the left to make our points. But I am fascinated by your Mel Gibson-esque short fuse and your unwillingness to respond to criticism without having to aggressively attack the people critiquing you and the movement of which you are a part.

and now for an excerpt of quotes from the crazy fucker Mark Williams replying to this comment:

Quote
   Where in that article do you see me addressing American Blacks, or any black people for that matter?

    I am mocking those people who call themselves “Colored People” and who are now fighting to be kept as government owned pets, whilst hurling charges of racism at those who embrace freedom and civil rights.

    It is in your head that the term “Colored People” means “Black”.


Quote
   Such is the crippling power of PC that otherwise freedom loving people cave at the first whiff of what somebody else might think. I personally do not care what the lowest common denominator thinks of me, they are the current administration’s power base and are kept like favored house pets. They are fighting against your and my right to think and speak, and they are winning.

    You must have dozed off or something Jim because your pod has clearly hatched.


Quote
   I am clueless as to your point Joe about “this guy”, libertarians and debates involving “the originator of the Tea Party”. History suggests that Samuel Adams would be the originator and to the best of my knowledge the tea partiers were with him at the [Old] South Meeting House, where they had gathered to act on the idea.

    That was 1773 so you will excuse me for being absent.

    I shall do my best to answer the part of your comment that I actually understand.

    My first tea party was 206 years later in 1979 when we organized to beat back a massive pay increase that the Massachusetts legislature voted itself (we won) and then again in 1988 when the Congress did the same thing. In that instance we not only beat back the pay increase but secured the resignation of then Speaker Jim Wright.

    The current incarnation was of course sparked by a TV commentator in February 2009 and followed through on by some 50,000+ individuals who organized to hold our first series of rallies a week later.

    The Sacramento rally, organized by Free Republic and emceed by me was on February 29, 2009.

Quote
   “massa” owned slaves. The group that calls itself “Colored People” want government to be the new massa.

    Try thinking for yourself instead of getting all hung up on whatever baggage filled with guilt you’re carrying around. The entire point of my book “One Tea Party at a Time” is that you are crippled – mentally and emotionally by political correctness and thus powerless to defend yourself. You are at the mercy of whatever you fear somebody else may think of you…

    …unless you drop the PC garbage and look at the issues. The reasons the NAACP did what it did are several: Mr. Jealous trying to save his own political ass in an organization that is lukewarm about him; the group is a dusty throwback fighting to be relevant again; they are cashing in on the tea party movement by hitching a ride on the Tea Party Express; and they want to continue enslaving American Blacks with the yolk of the past and strike fear into your heart.

Quote
   Chris, on reflection and re-read I agree with you that my use of the word “massa” was ill-advised and probably offensive. That is an unnecessary detraction from my point so I have revised the offending copy… along with a phrase about “wide screen” television sets, that too could be construed as racially based.

    To those offended by those errors in judgement on my part I apologize.

Quote
   Real simple. That the NAACP does not speak for anyone outside of its own narrow little group of backward looking people. In their world view they still cannot sit at a lunch counter or the front of the bus. The last group in America for whom they can claim a right to speak for is Black American Citizens. W.E.B. DuBois never intended the organization to work against civil rights and use the government as an extortionist for favored social classes.

    The difference between then and now is that DuBois knew real racism first hand. He also knew the power of government to perpetuate and enforce that racism. Jealous and his cronies would be set upon by the original NAACP founders and run out the organization faster than we in the tea party movement disavow racists who try to latch onto us.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2010, 05:42 pm by fermun » Logged
fermun
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« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2010, 03:23 pm »

More:
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFfQ-1zi8D0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFfQ-1zi8D0</a>


Edit: This guy is just the gift that keeps giving. emphasis mine
Quote
Letter to Lincoln
.
A personal note from Mark Williams:
I learned this morning that Ben Jealous, author of the NAACP anti-tea party resolution has offered something of an olive branch and wants to open discussions with tea partiers regarding dialing down the unproductive shots going back and forth. After being told of Mr. Jealous’ offer I contacted his office via email and provided him with all of my contact information, including my private telephone number in order to speak man to man with him and find common ground for progress. I do hope that he follows through and calls. The first round of beers at our ’summit’ will be on me.
Following what I believe to be a sincere move by Mr. Jealous I recognize that I have a responsibility to act in kind (just as I did in response to the NAACP’s anti-tea party resolution and what was said about us) and that the continued controversy over this post can only dectract from the discussions. Furthermore, I applaud Mr. Jealous and welcome his willingness to help move us past talking points and personalities. This nation has real problems and we are in real danger. That is no time for Mark Williams and Ben Jealous to get into a battle of egos and personalities.
Point made now we move forward.
To that end and as a reciprocal gesture I have removed the parody letter you came here to read and urge you to fight those who seek to divide us by race, no matter the color of the racist. Our fight is against tyranny and for liberty and to see that this nation continues the lofty goal of equality for all set for us by our founders. Make no mistake though, there are those for whom peace and progress is poison and they will continue to circulate the several versions of my article (Yes, there were several versions. As reasonable people pointed out to me wording that I agreed was indeed objectionable it was removed or changed by me personally.)
Now that Mr. Jealous and others realize their error and seek to mend fences it becomes my job to not offend rational people who disagree with me on the relevant issues while not sacrificing the truth. I heard too from many very sober and thoughtful people who counseled me that my comments were an obstacle to progress and that I missed my intended target. The day that I cannot learn something new will be the one following the coroner’s signature on my death certificate and this is not that day. So, with that I reiterate what I and every tea partier have said repeatedly: We denounce racists of any color and all those who seek to divide the American People along any lines.
I would suggest to those offended by the term “Colored People” (the phrase that made my article so controversial) please contact the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and join me in calling for an end to their use of the racial slur and that Mr. Jealous take me up on my offer to travel with me on the next Tea Party Express so that he may meet all of you in person. His contact information is below.
Sincerely,
Mark Williams
NAACP Telephone: (410) 580-5777 or (877) NAACP-98
More NAACP contact information and email form here: http://www.naacp.org/page/s/contact
« Last Edit: July 16, 2010, 04:03 pm by fermun » Logged
Johnny Roastbeef
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« Reply #4 on: July 17, 2010, 08:23 am »

The Tea Party isn't about race fermun.  It's about keeping lazy black people from stealing our money with their socialist taxes.  How could you possibly think that statement has anything to do with race?
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Johnny Roastbeef
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« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2010, 08:02 pm »

During Apollo 12 they landed a tiny piece of art from several artists on the moon.

Andy Warhol totally drew a dick.
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Driscoll
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« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2010, 05:41 pm »

Now that is some shitty art. They probably just launched it because it was taking up too much space on earth.
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Mr Gale
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« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2010, 07:04 pm »

Im not sure thats really a case of "amazing story of art winning its place alongside science" so much as an amazing story about one crazy engineer with a really weird sense of humour.
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Johnny Roastbeef
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« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2010, 08:42 pm »

I think you guys are missing the bigger picture.  It's an amazing story that someone flew pecker graffiti to the fucking moon.
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Joseph Nistal
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« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2010, 09:26 pm »

I think you guys are missing the bigger picture.

But it was tiny, and so were the replicas.
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Johnny Roastbeef
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« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2010, 07:48 pm »

Legitimate evidence that Glenn Beck incites terrorism.
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Hypermanic_Zen
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« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2010, 08:17 am »

Saudi Arabia bans Klingon language.
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Johnny Roastbeef
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« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2010, 06:43 am »

Quote
Government officials said they were also debating a ban on other hard to decipher languages like Jive and Pig Latin, but have yet to reach a final decision.

I suspect that's a joke article.
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Karlski
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« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2010, 05:39 pm »

He's still allowed to love it.
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HyperGlavin
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« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2010, 11:08 pm »

Cartoons replace photographs of UK football match

Quote
Plymouth Argyle's winning goal against Southampton was captured by a cartoonist after the home side banned photographers from its grounds.
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HyperGlavin
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« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2010, 10:52 am »

India angry after TV host mocks Dikshit

Quote
The controversial host made an on-air apology shortly before his suspension was announced, saying "I certainly didn't intend to sound racist", but invited further controversy by referring to himself as "half-gyppo".
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HyperGlavin
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« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2011, 11:05 am »

This thread does not get enough love, in my opinion.

T-shirts trick German neo-Nazis

Quote
The slogan on the shirts first read "hardcore rebels" along with a skull and nationalist flags. But once washed the slogan turned into a message from a group offering help to right-wing extremists to break away from the neo-Nazi scene.

"If your T-shirt can do it, you can do it too - we'll help you get away from right-wing extremism," read the slogan on the shirts after their first wash.
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fermun
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« Reply #17 on: January 30, 2012, 09:59 pm »

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/01/30/virginia-lawmaker-tries-to-attach-rectal-exam-provision-to-anti-abortion-bill/#.TydT4mH9T7k.twitter

Virginia is making a law that will have women who want an abortion undergo an unnecessary ultrasound. A Virginia lawmaker responded by trying to attach an amendment to the bill that would force any man who wants a viagra prescription to get a rectal exam.

The amendment didn't pass, but I keep laughing at the idea of a bunch of old white dudes looking at the amendment thinking "OH NO! NOT OUR BUTTS!"
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jimbob
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« Reply #18 on: January 31, 2012, 03:35 am »

That is genius. At least it makes the sensible-sexist-religious-guys take a look at their views.
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« Reply #19 on: January 31, 2012, 06:37 am »

Don't get your hopes up. Not if they see it in the same terms as these people in the comments, who are missing the point so much that it keeps them awake a night, next to the phone, hoping for it to call:
Quote
Its these kind of childish antics that make the Democrats so unappealing to the American majority.  I guess its like Rush says, "Liberalism is a mental illness."
Quote
As a man in his late 50’s who does not use any “erectile dysfunction” pills or aids I am hugely offended! I am also a Democrat and a liberal and “normally” I support all Democrats, until now. Every year, since I happen to be covered with black skin and, again…I am in my late 50’s it is recommended that I have a prostate exam. I detest it…I detest it…I DETEST IT!. I think you get my point. So, with that in mind, any person who advocates that men, who want an erection get an additional rectal exam cannot get my support! This is completely personal and that’s my position. I am sticking (maybe I could choose a better word) to it! EWWWW!

Great stunt, though. I'd vote for that lady.
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Don't discriminate, you retards, racism is gay
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