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Author Topic: Star Wars: The Trouble With Porgs  (Read 713 times)
Navigator2001Plus
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« on: December 16, 2017, 02:49 am »

Am I the first to make that joke? Just a quick Google here... and no. Of course not.

So, I saw this Friday morning at 8:30 AM because of course I fucking did, and overall it's good, but I think I liked The Force Awakens more than this one. One of the problems with The Last Jedi is it tries too hard to insert funny moments throughout. The goddamn porg things could be removed from the movie entirely and it wouldn't affect the plot. They are in there solely to be cute and (obviously) sell merch and do funny little things. Wouldn't A New Hope have been better if after Luke found his aunt and uncle murdered, the camera panned over to a little porg that started screaming? The caretakers of the Jedi temple island are also pointless and are in there just for a couple funny scenes. I'd prefer the movie without both them and the porgs. But also, a part of me that I hate also loves the little things because some goddamn asshole designed them to be super fucking cute.

So far it sounds like I'm kind of shitting on this movie, but that's because I haven't gotten to the good stuff yet, and most of that is all spoilers, so just as a warning, this thread will be spoilers from here on out. It's really hard to talk in depth about a Star Wars film without spoiling things anyway, and honestly, you fucking know already if you want to see this or not.

***SPOILERS AHEAD***





One of the things I really liked about the movie is that Rey's parents just turned out to be a couple of nobodies that didn't want her and dumped her. It always made the universe feel small when important shit always happened to the Skywalker family, and the fact that the light side could rise up in some rando to meet the darkness within Kylo Ren is nice.

I liked that the film isn't just a beat by beat remake of The Empire Strikes Back, which is kind of how it looked from the trailers. I liked the part where the good guys had a plan to disable the hyperspace tracker and it failed miserably instead of succeeding in the last second like what happens in every film ever. I was actually pretty shocked that they killed off Snoke in this one. And I think it worked that they didn't really answer who he was. He doesn't have some secret real identity or anything. He's just some fucking force using dickhead with a hard on for the Empire and Darth Vader. Rey fighting Luke and briefly teaming up with Kylo was also unexpected. I like when a movie doesn't turn out to be exactly what I thought it would be!

My only other problems than the porg were that they never answered how Maz had Luke's lightsaber (answered in episode IX i guess???), how R2-D2 and the old guy from The Force Awakens each had a piece of a map to Luke Skywalker (doesn't seem like it'll get a proper answer if they didn't answer it in this movie before Luke did the same vanishing death that Yoda did), and the goofy looking CGI when Leia turned out to not be dead and used the force to pull herself back inside that ship. It's not entirely unrealistic since you can actually survive in space for a bit, but it just looked super weird. Also, it's funny that they had already planned this, because I totally thought in that scene that they just said "eh, fuck it" and were killing her off in this one.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the star war for now ok bye i love you
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Mr Gale
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« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2017, 07:04 pm »

I liked it fine, hung together less well as a whole story than the first one but didnt have some of its dumb overscale/logic problems.

The (increased) comedy beats and charismatic leads (ie the marvel formula) seems like a good solution for the repetitive/narrow nature of the star wars universe, definitely avoids the prequel dry dullness issues. We saw how these movies work without comedy, ie Rogue One the garbage fire. Still some inexcusable plot nonsense and subplots that make no sense, you could cut an hour out of this easily.

They could have used that hour for more porgs.

I support them reacting to the internets Mary Sue Rey claims by making BB8 the invincible charismatic problem solver in this one, nobody can hate BB8.
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evilspud
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« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2017, 10:57 pm »

I had a huge problem struggling to understand why they didn't just tell Poe that they were heading to a secret base so they wouldn't have to do the stupid casino heist subplot.  Like, you know he's going to fly off the handle and do something stupid if he thinks you're all waiting to die.  There was no reason for them to withhold that information. 

As for Snoke, I think it was clearly telegraphed that he wanted Ren to strike him down.  He ordered him to strike down his enemy and fulfill his destiny without explicitly naming anyone, and for someone that strong not to notice Ren twirling the light saber that he explicitly wanted right next to him in that exact position for some reason strikes me as obviously intentional, right?

But in his death, I think since the very first Star Wars, as well as the prequels, there's an unspoken acknowledgement that no one actually knows where the Sith are coming from, or how they gain so much power.  They just appear.  I like how that meshes with the idea of balance. When there's an evil ruling class, light rises to fight it, and when there's a fancy nice republic, an evil will arrive to challenge it.   
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« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2017, 07:38 pm »

I'm pretty sure Snoke was just a big fraud.
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Mr Gale
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« Reply #4 on: December 17, 2017, 07:50 pm »

I had a huge problem struggling to understand why they didn't just tell Poe that they were heading to a secret base so they wouldn't have to do the stupid casino heist subplot.  Like, you know he's going to fly off the handle and do something stupid if he thinks you're all waiting to die.  There was no reason for them to withhold that information. 

Yeah there seemed to be 2 major plot problems the fleet stuff and the casino subplot just not going with the rest ... the dumb holding pattern chase nonsense, felt like something out of a videogame, lets all pause while the subplots happen. And then the whole thing was a twist kept from everyone (?) for no reason. It felt like you easily could have rewritten that to have some actual tension (something akin to the BSG chased by the cylon episode, jumping faster and faster and no way to escape etc, each jump requiring people to stay alert and then have the two plans both flawed and neither fully works, make it the meat of the movie not some background to action scene reasons) and even if not doing that... so easy to have a handwavey reason for Poe to be confused... a doubleagent or something being the reason they can be tracked, or they have to keep it secret (and it turns out to be del toro, lose the casino subplot altogether). But at this point im just rewriting the movie.

I did like the casino subplot does end up going nowhere, in that Poes whole plan just doesnt work. But Del Toro then betraying everyone and getting everyone killed is a weird way to take that, also why did Del Toro know about that to betray the rebellion, I missed anyone telling him the secret plan.

Also the Rey storyline being out of time sync with the rest, idk, thats fine but they didnt really give any sort of touches to emphasise that so it just felt like her whole week on Luke Island took 7 hours or something.

Theres a lot of strong scenes in this one and I like they completely switched up all the pairings and added the humour, lots of nice subversions of the formula so its not entirely paint by numbers of the previous plots ... but it really hangs together less as a complete story for it. Much like Empire I guess.

And needed more porgs.
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dustbuster
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« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2017, 08:16 pm »

I had a huge problem struggling to understand why they didn't just tell Poe that they were heading to a secret base so they wouldn't have to do the stupid casino heist subplot.  Like, you know he's going to fly off the handle and do something stupid if he thinks you're all waiting to die.  There was no reason for them to withhold that information.

Is there a good reason to share the information, though?  I don't think they could have reasonably expected that Poe would be such a dumb asshole.  It's tempting to side with him on this because he's one of the main characters and also handsome, but clearly he's the one who fucked everything up.
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« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2017, 08:23 pm »

Is there a good reason not to, everyone in the fleet thinks they are waiting to be executed and abandoning ship or stressing to the point of mutiny. For the sake of a memo saying "actually we are gonna sneak to a base and fight there, chill all".

Tension causing conflict around something people could sort in a 5 second conversation is the stuff of bad writing, and great Frasier episodes.
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evilspud
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« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2017, 09:36 pm »

Is there a good reason to share the information, though?  I don't think they could have reasonably expected that Poe would be such a dumb asshole.  It's tempting to side with him on this because he's one of the main characters and also handsome, but clearly he's the one who fucked everything up.

Him learning to not be a dumb asshole is his entire arc, and it's pointed out to him constantly by Leia and purple Leia.  They should have known he might try something stupid and reckless if he thought they had no other plan because that's exactly how he got the entire bomber fleet killed in the beginning.
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« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2017, 09:37 pm »

I hope I'm not being too hard on this movie because I also liked it very much, and the scene where Rey and Ren team up to fight the red dudes is one of my top five scenes from any Star Wars movie.
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« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2017, 04:01 pm »

Why does a space ship need a periscope?
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« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2017, 01:40 am »

BB-8 is Poe Dameron's dog
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« Reply #11 on: December 19, 2017, 01:27 pm »

BB-8's cold outside.
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« Reply #12 on: December 19, 2017, 01:30 pm »

BB-8's dancing outside
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« Reply #13 on: December 19, 2017, 09:12 pm »

I liked it. Loved it maybe, even.
« Last Edit: December 19, 2017, 09:33 pm by Remington Lonespear » Logged

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« Reply #14 on: December 21, 2017, 04:34 am »

28 minutes of a whiny ass nerd complaining that Rey didn't fight a sea monster in TLJ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PLG_RXOdcE

God I hate Star Wars fans. This is exactly the movie they deserve

« Last Edit: December 21, 2017, 04:42 am by Remington Lonespear » Logged

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« Reply #15 on: December 21, 2017, 09:12 am »

I dont think i could endure that, but I also agree Rey should have fought a sea monster. I didnt know that was on the cards but now im down.
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« Reply #16 on: December 21, 2017, 10:58 am »

these comments give me life




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« Reply #17 on: December 21, 2017, 12:57 pm »

I dont think i could endure that, but I also agree Rey should have fought a sea monster. I didnt know that was on the cards but now im down.

At one point the guy is like straining through tears "And if Rey isn't someone special, remember that scene in Force Awakens where she says 'I've never seen so much green', and Han gives her a look like he knows something she doesn't? If she's not special WHY DID HE LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT? WHY DID HE LOOK AT HER?"

I fucking love this video
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« Reply #18 on: December 21, 2017, 07:12 pm »

this movie was as close to "fuck the system" as star wars could ever possibly be and I fucking loved it

overlong and some silly plotting, whatever, but old school puppet Yoda cracking himself up by blowing up a tree immediately became a top 5 moment of the entire franchise for me. fuck yes puppet asshole yoda
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but it's not so great when you consider that it's coming from an alive lady
Navigator2001Plus
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« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2017, 04:43 am »

rey should have fought a porg
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