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Author Topic: What do any of you people even do for a living  (Read 1175 times)
HyperGlavin
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« on: December 08, 2017, 04:07 am »

Seriously, I have no idea any more. Tell me about it.
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Mr Gale
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« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2017, 06:46 am »

Im a service delivery manager which in the IT field means the highest kind of middle manager before you get into Directors and SVPs, the real lazy bastards, what I am waiting around to be.

I work for an IT services company which means they do all the computing stuff for big companies or govt offices basically (its a french company, but we are the UK/Ireland division). But they also run their call centres, do the websites and data centres and platforms whatever it is they need to function basically. So a fair sized bank would be 100 people doing leadership and audit etc their end, then they hire via a contract 2000 of us providing all the resources and infrastructure for x amount of years then we compete for it again, I would run the 2000 (though various other middle managers and division heads) and report back to the owners. Thats what we call "the service" and im delivering it as the ultimate management owner, so service delivery manager.

I now have been promoted up from running a specific service though, I run an internal division called Big Data and Cyber Security, that division provides all the security stuff basically for all my companies accounts basically. I only vaguely know what big data means but if you use it a lot when theres a lull in conversation that seems to suffice.

I do not know anything about computers and usually whenever I tell people I work in IT as a field people start asking me how to fix a laptop. When what I know is how to fix management structures and review reports. I may not know that either actually but you arent my boss.

I do not generally tell people my companys name as if anyone recognises it in the UK its probably because of all the disabled people they murdered through negligence when running the govt department that assessed benefits. I did however go to 2 corporate dinners where I was sat next to the woman who was in charge of the division did that and had to go to parliament to explain etc, got drunk both times and started asking her about it, she insisted it was just acting out govt standards so they had to conform, she did not then appreciate the "ah just following orders, like the nazis" comparison I made to that both times I am reliably informed.

Making contacts and networking is a big way forward in my role and im clearly very good at that.

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Mr Gale
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« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2017, 06:47 am »

I mostly just wrote all that out so I can cut and paste it to my mother, who I believe thinks I am some sort of call centre team leader whenever she asks me about work.
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Citizen Snips
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« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2017, 10:25 am »

I'm beginning a career in independent film distribution and exhibition after finishing my Master's degree last Spring. Right now I'm the theatrical intern for a company called Kino Lorber.

I'm primarily in charge of keeping our print traffic on schedule by sending out DCPs and exhibition Blu-rays to theaters across the US and Canada (mostly independent theaters, film festivals, and universities). I also do grassroots research and outreach for our upcoming film releases--most recently, I did outreach for our Tom of Finland biopic, so I researched and contacted all the LGBTQ organizations and gay bars in the cities we are expanding to and sent them postcards with showtimes and Tom of Finland branded condoms. The most remarkable thing I've probably done was submitting our films to awards ceremonies, including the Golden Globes and Oscars, but that was just filling out forms.

My company also puts out an extensive library of Blu-rays/DVDs, including classic silent cinema, old Hollywood westerns, exploitation films from the '80s, contemporary documentaries, and foreign films, so I'm also responsible for making sure that copies of all our new releases are sent to journalists who will ideally cover their release and increase sales. I can also take anything I want for free, so let me know if anyone wants a BD copy of Star Crystal.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoo1ArzTf4Q" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoo1ArzTf4Q</a>

Being an internship, it's obviously not sustainable, but I've definitely got my foot in the door of a pretty insular industry. And anyway, at the very least I'm making a career out of my deeply pretentious taste in movies.
« Last Edit: December 08, 2017, 10:41 am by Citizen Snips » Logged

Kybard
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« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2017, 11:27 am »

I'm a digital project manager at a small-to-mid-sized communications contractor in the Washington, DC, area, which means nearly all of our clients are government. specifically, various NIH institutes and agencies/offices within health and human services

my role is basically to make our web developers' lives easier. communicating with design/editorial teams to make sure content and assets are delivered properly and consistently, tracking tasks and making sure quality control's done on various projects, working more broadly on improving communication channels between development and other departments and making their workflow more transparent and structured so we can help prevent bottlenecks and people getting totally overloaded, plus I have to go to client meetings a lot which is fucking awful

actually my work's increasingly trended toward content management -- i.e. taking the content and putting it into our content management system (Wordpress, Drupal, etc). so taking that burden off our developers, creating standardized processes of content entry and review so stuff is polished when it goes live, things like that. I enjoy that stuff way more than the more project manager-y bits of my job, which generally range from tedious to exhausting

I've also been slowly training up on web development in general, since it's fucking awesome and fascinating and I've always had some knack for it despite no real focused education. our development team is awesome and friendly so I've been able to tap them to help out some on that front, and also to take some easier stuff off their plate to give me more actual webdev experience.

but generally speaking, though I'm genuinely proud of some of our projects (I don't want to name them here though 'cause I don't want this idiot wasteland associated with our clients), my job is a suckhole, mostly because clients are dumb and middle management is dumb and it's even worse when you're not actually anyone's boss, which means instead you just get continuously frustrated/disappointed in other people that you can't reprimand or really call out in any way that isn't inappropriate. I stay here because I get to walk to work, the pay is good, and I have six-digit student loans

edit: probably worth noting to my credit and despite my complaining that as much as my job sounds like it's any other middle management position anywhere, it actually did not exist at all before I was promoted into it, and neither did my entire department before I was promoted/transferred from proofreading into it. also my boss is very nice and supportive which is why I'm able to pursue some of the webdev stuff I talked about
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Chez San
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« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2017, 04:58 pm »

I work in the education department of a privately run maximum security male prison where I am expected to make the damaged, dangerous and crazy outliers of society slightly more employable by shoring up their mathematics, communication and IT skills, a reasonable idea in theory but fatally flawed by the prison's baffling decision not to issue wages to prisoners who don't participate in the education timetable. This means that fully fifty percent of my lecturing time is spent telling half the day's random assortment of maniacs to (in a non-escalatory fashion) please get out of my class.

The other fifty percent of my time is spent devising various strategies of applying sticking plasters to a huge, gouting, spraying wound of culturally engineered ignorance as we and all of society are soaked in the collective blood of batshit conspiracy theories and slowly go under the rising tide of reactionary hostility towards authoritative sources.

Sometimes I get to do fun stuff like order 10,000 of music gear and set up a small recording facility and media production studio, or write bespoke courses and get them accredited by the appropriate bodies. We're owned by a global multinat which means occasional junkets to London, and I'm a senior in my department which means I get to call the shots on a lot of specialist education/techy things that the prison management are wary of.

I've been promoted as far as I'm going to get without branching out into prison management so I'll probably jump ship into something else soon.
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laktose
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« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2017, 05:06 pm »

I jerk off punks under a bridge for 15 bucks a man
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« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2017, 05:10 pm »

I'm a court reporter in Washington DC, and cover judicial, regulatory, and enforcement proceedings from government agencies and several district courts.  

Basically what I'm doing is typing up lots, and lots, and lots, and lots of testimony in a nice looking format that we send back out to our clients.  Each client has a different format, and a different way of doing things (we have one investigations branch that is insistent that we include every uh-huh and um and err, and they are a fascinating bunch.)  

When it's not testimony, it's not unusual to be asked to transcribe pieces that will be use as evidence, and that can include anything from interviews to videos of PowerPoint presentations and some really, really weird stuff.  But also sometimes we get really cool stuff!  Like, I've typed up speeches and interviews, press conferences, and my personal favorite is when we get historians bringing us interviews with fascinating people talking about their life.

When I'm not doing that, I'm in a suit and tie and recording testimony myself.  I'm not a stenographer yet, but I've already trained myself in shorthand, and can now reliably say I know more about how to set up functions and key macros through Word than 99% of people who put "Knows Microsoft Word" on their resumes.

A lot of times testimony can be dry, and my pay is contingent on the number of pages I type per day, which can mean a bad day feels like flushing cash down the toilet.  That's the nature of the job, but as an English Major I'm not going to scoff at a full time job when, despite the occasional bad day, I'm still making the better half of five figures, getting holiday pay, and a ton of benefits.  It was a total shock to me when I found out that leave was PAID.  I can also type over 120 words per minute now, which apparently some people see as "discomforting to watch."
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laktose
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« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2017, 05:14 pm »

Looking at this thread I kinda feel like I made the right choice
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evilspud
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« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2017, 07:13 pm »

I don't know, my work has quarterly happy hours and next week I get to go to a holiday party with an open bar. 
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Kybard
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« Reply #10 on: December 08, 2017, 08:08 pm »

yeah holiday parties with open bars are a pretty solid reason to be employed
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Katastrophikus
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« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2017, 02:43 am »

I'm a professional artist (painter). I exhibit across the country and hope to have my first international show next year. I've got a Masters, and used to lecture art theory and art history at the local university.

I supplement that absolutely random income by teaching drawing, theory, and professional practice.

I used to be in marketing and IT for a good long while to support my filthy art habit, but it turns out I need my soul for something after all.
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88FingersLouie
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« Reply #12 on: December 09, 2017, 10:29 am »

I work with shit called CEMS in this huge building that burns garbage to create electricity, which results in the inside of the building being ungodly hot and smelling awful, which in turn results in everyone inside of it being angry all the time. Despite the fact I work with the guts of the plant, my actual office is the building next door which is temperate and smells normal. Everyone in the plant is especially angry with me because of that, as they all wanted that office.

I spend most of my free time working on a creative project I hope will free me from this garbage prison, and while I realize there is a microscopic chance of it ever succeeding to that level, at least it gives me something to think about in the shower.
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« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2017, 05:43 pm »

We have happy hour, too, when Pete brings along enough thinner for everyone. It's a good life plus I don't have to wear a suit
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DiegoInglewood
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« Reply #14 on: December 09, 2017, 08:14 pm »

i'm the night manager of a redneck bodega that's a five minute drive from my house. of course in the fall i am also the commissioner of a 12 team fantasy football league. somebody's gotta do it!
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Captain Wacky
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« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2017, 11:39 pm »

I'm an environmental consultant and occupational hygienist.

The environmental part means I collect jars of dirt and then tell the client whether its good or bad dirt.

The hygienist part means I tell people to put up warning signs and wear a mask if they have bad dirt.
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Navigator2001Plus
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« Reply #16 on: December 10, 2017, 03:52 am »

I drive one of these:


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jimbob
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« Reply #17 on: December 10, 2017, 04:42 am »

All of you all bougie bastards are gonna be crushed beneath Nav's Beautiful Blue Collar Machine when we take back what's our'n.
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TheDarkFlame
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« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2017, 05:41 pm »

I make coffee. You don't need me to tell you how that works, and I don't need you to tell me how worthwhile a calling it isn't.
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Lukeington
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« Reply #19 on: December 10, 2017, 07:31 pm »

I'm a bitcoin magnate.
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