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Author Topic: GREAT WAYS TO BE DEAD THIS YEAR 2014 A.D.  (Read 19951 times)
Karlski
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« Reply #120 on: March 22, 2016, 04:32 pm »

struck on the head by a turd falling at terminal velocity from the top of the empire state building
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<TDF> Karlski only has one rule
<TDF> And that rule is "get fucked"
laktose
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SLAM DRUNK


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« Reply #121 on: March 23, 2016, 04:08 am »

Launched into space from a huge catapult, my corpse forever orbiting the earth
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Ishliquor
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Fives at High Sucking.


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« Reply #122 on: March 23, 2016, 08:41 am »

I would like to be subjected to the high temperatures and pressures found in the Earth's mantle, so that I would be turned into a diamond. It would be brilliant.
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Seeking a vomitorium from the arena of the unwell.
Wibblewobble
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« Reply #123 on: March 23, 2016, 03:58 pm »

I would really like - on my daily commute on the 7.35am to Liverpool Street - to stand up, throw down my copy of Metro, scream incoherently then bend over and fart myself inside out.

It would be awesomely disgusting!
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Ishliquor
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« Reply #124 on: March 23, 2016, 05:25 pm »

I think you mean it would be a gas.
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laktose
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« Reply #125 on: March 24, 2016, 11:00 am »

<+laktose> i wanna get bitten by an alligator and dragged into a filthy swamp and just get thrashed around for a bit
<+laktose> oh no i'm gonna survive
<+laktose> but only just
<+laktose> then i want someone to push my wheelchair into traffic
<+laktose> THEN i can finally have an orgasm
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« Reply #126 on: March 24, 2016, 11:25 am »

RIP died of orgasm
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Metsfan
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I like to get intimate with inanimate inmates.


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« Reply #127 on: March 24, 2016, 03:43 pm »

Standing in direct sunlight
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Won't somebody think of the nerds?
Ishliquor
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« Reply #128 on: March 24, 2016, 04:23 pm »

Given my persistent paronomastic peccadilloes, I'll most likely get offed by Frank Castle.
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Seeking a vomitorium from the arena of the unwell.
Illiterati
sex fucker
Deathfat


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« Reply #129 on: March 25, 2016, 04:07 am »

I want to die from a botched dick transplant operation.
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8====D~~~~~~~~~~(( |
nameinuse2
Captain Nice!
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« Reply #130 on: March 31, 2016, 08:13 am »

Same. Botched dick donation. RIP in peace my dick and all dick donations cursed for four score generations.
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Frogbone
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spook


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« Reply #131 on: June 10, 2016, 06:39 pm »

i want to swallow Alka-Seltzer without water and burp and choke to death
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Frogbone
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spook


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« Reply #132 on: June 10, 2016, 06:41 pm »

i want to swallow a pound of Alka-Seltzer and explode farting & shitting
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fermun
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« Reply #133 on: August 27, 2016, 02:49 pm »

Launched into space from a huge catapult, my corpse forever orbiting the earth

This would not put you into orbit. Every orbit must include the orbital position that last had force applied, so your corpse's orbit would have to include the height at which the huge catapult released you and the atmospheric drag would prevent even a complete orbit. You'd still die though, just your corpse would arrive as a fiery ball somewhere else on the planet.
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Chez San
Busko Tungus
Food Forum Moderator


femifascist hogwash


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« Reply #134 on: August 28, 2016, 07:39 am »

Yeah even if your huge catapult was some kind of mass driver firing you at an optimum vector you'd need an additional ACME corpse-rocket to get you over that final hump, plus something to adjust your trajectory once you're up there. I suppose it could feasibly be done but only with enough equipment to turn your insouciantly cartoony demise into something so disgustingly wasteful and expensive that your very name would become synonymous with utter shit-hearted selfishness.
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Remington Lonespear
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Deathfat


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« Reply #135 on: August 28, 2016, 11:27 pm »

fermun and sanchez are going to die of being huge fuckin nerds
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Katastrophikus
Hurker


Tequila fiend


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« Reply #136 on: August 29, 2016, 12:46 am »

They might be mutant aberrations, and are immune. Cue dramatic Hammer Film music.
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Karlski
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« Reply #137 on: August 31, 2016, 05:52 pm »

thrown headlong from the stage into the moshpit at a nu-metal gig and subsequently trampled underfoot in a mix of dirt, sawdust, cheap beer, and piss
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<TDF> Karlski only has one rule
<TDF> And that rule is "get fucked"
Chez San
Busko Tungus
Food Forum Moderator


femifascist hogwash


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« Reply #138 on: September 01, 2016, 01:25 am »

thrown headlong from the stage into the moshpit at a nu-metal gig and subsequently having one's fall broken by a tightly packed wodge of slow-moving obese hairy dudes,only to be torn apart by their entangled wallet chains as they scatter in terror
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