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Author Topic: GREAT WAYS TO BE DEAD THIS YEAR 2014 A.D.  (Read 17261 times)
Illiterati
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Deathfat


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« on: January 14, 2014, 07:52 am »

What is a great way to die this year of our lord two thousand and fourteen (dos mil catorce)?

Personally I prefer to be gored by a legendary narwhal's horn while on an old-timey harpooning excursion with me sailor mates, my last thoughts on this earth being "i truly respect the power of nature".

What is yours?
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locnar
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« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2014, 07:57 am »

RIP died of toilet.
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Evidently no one likes a quitter
or an old punk's bitterness
So I'm waiting for a tap on the shoulder
Because we're all getting older, not better
And the laughs are no longer with us
locnar
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« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2014, 08:01 am »

Seriously, I want to shit myself inside out.
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Evidently no one likes a quitter
or an old punk's bitterness
So I'm waiting for a tap on the shoulder
Because we're all getting older, not better
And the laughs are no longer with us
laktose
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« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2014, 08:02 am »

I would like to drown in a swimming pool filled with my own piss and turds and my mother is watching and just shaking her head with a disappointed look on her face while whispering about how she always liked my brother better.
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Deathfat


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« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2014, 08:10 am »

i want to be dressed up like a colorful donkey and hung from a post while a group of businessmen who have paid a great sum of money for the privilege (it's a sex thing) take turns hitting me with sticks, but all of a sudden the police barge in because they're conducting a raid on this sick underground party and one of the cops accidentally shoots me
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laktose
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« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2014, 08:35 am »

I want a big burly man wearing camo shorts to chokeslam me to death in front my wife and kids
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« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2014, 09:24 am »

probably cancer or heart disease
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Deathfat


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« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2014, 09:53 am »

i want to die from sex??

dieing from a bad sex?!?!?!?!
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laktose
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« Reply #8 on: January 14, 2014, 10:23 am »

Another cool way to die is eating undercooked hamburgers and getting stabbed in the face
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DiegoInglewood
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« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2014, 11:32 am »

I want to have someone hold my eyes open with one of those devices from A Clockwork Orange and make me watch the entirety of the HBO series Entourage on repeat until I beg them for death. Then they will feed me to their murderhounds
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RummyLu
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« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2014, 11:41 am »

The flux, because I'm retro.
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Deathfat


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« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2014, 02:33 pm »

A pretty cool way to die is to eat too much steak blood
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pingollum
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« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2014, 06:24 pm »

drinking a beer in a pool???

i tried that thing once where nick cage drinks a beer in a pool but it's actually not as easy as it looks because i kept floating to the surface and chlorinated water in my nostrils was uncomfortable

do stupid shit or die trying
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« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2014, 12:55 am »

Absorbing too much mystical energy from a mystical energy crystal.
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A photograph described as a dog that was burned saving a family from a house fire is actually a dog with a slice of ham on its face.
EFHRK
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« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2014, 01:20 am »

THROWN INTO SPACE
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Joey
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« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2014, 01:46 am »

as i lived, slipping on a soap bar in the shower
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-joey
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« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2014, 02:40 am »

Unfortunate balloon incident.
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A photograph described as a dog that was burned saving a family from a house fire is actually a dog with a slice of ham on its face.
boonmeister
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« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2014, 02:52 am »

I'd like to die quietly in my sleep, like my grandpa.


Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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laktose
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« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2014, 03:39 am »

i want to be bludgeoned to death by an angry mob for telling awful old jokes
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Deathfat


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« Reply #19 on: January 15, 2014, 07:41 am »

I want a statuesque blonde to stomp on my balls until I am dead
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