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August 18, 2017, 03:55 am

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Author Topic: TODAY I WATCHED...  (Read 257036 times)
du_Man
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« Reply #1840 on: July 07, 2017, 04:39 pm »

also the god-out-of-water stuff was funnier in THOR to me because Hemsworth has better comedic chops.

This is true, but it was also the one thing saving the flopping, dying fish of a middle act. (I liked Thor, but Hemsworth really had to carry that midsection single-handed)

Comparing the action to BVS, though... the action in BVS looked expensive, but it was never involving. In fact, outside of the warehouse fight (which was admittedly well done) and the cool-looking but pointless dream sequence, the action was pretty generic beneath the extreme burnt-orange-and-black color scheme. There's not really any story going on in them, they're just random punching and explosions until whatever anticlimactic finish they build to. And it's utterly undermined by the awful, stupid protagonists. Points for weirdness, but weirdness alone does not competent storytelling make. Batman & Robin is ten times as brazen, weird, and memorable as that dull, endless slog.

Whereas I actually cared about the action in WW.

I have been meaning to get to xXx iIi, though. That sucker sounds wacky as hell.
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« Reply #1841 on: July 07, 2017, 06:47 pm »

which brings me to my next point: folks, Schumacher's BATMAN films are underrated,
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du_Man
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« Reply #1842 on: July 08, 2017, 10:17 am »

I actually won't argue with you on that.
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« Reply #1843 on: July 16, 2017, 10:08 pm »

THE BIG SICK is funny and cute. It's the same as every Apatow production but it's also got a great 9/11 joke + Ray Romano & Holly Hunter as hashtag goals. this one, i give a thumbs up
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« Reply #1844 on: July 24, 2017, 04:26 am »

Today I saw Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. More like Boredom and the City of a Thousand Visually Stunning Set-pieces But Not Much Else! I wish I liked it, and I wanted to like it, but this is no The Fifth Element. Warning: Mild spoilers to follow, but who cares, this film isn't very good.

To start with, Dane DeHaan (Valerian) and Cara Delevingne (Laureline) are boring as the film's two leads. There's no charisma and no chemistry between them. At no point does the film manage to make you care about either of them. Replace them with cardboard cutouts, and you wouldn't be losing any amount of emotional resonance. I mentally vomited in my brain-mouth when he asked her to marry him only minutes into the story.

The film also has issues with pacing. For 90% of it, information and clues about what's really going on are spread razor thin, and then right at the end you get a huge infodump from some aliens that explain what's going on. Which wouldn't be as bad if the film didn't waste time with pointless filler that exists only to look cool and pad out the run-time.

At one point, there are back to back sequences where Valerian and then Laureline are in peril, and the other has to save them, but first, they each have to put a jellyfish on their head. I may be grossly oversimplifying there, but that's literally what happens. The worst part is that Valerian puts the jellyfish on his head in order to avoid a diplomatic incident, but ends up scalping an alien king and killing all his bodyguards anyway. But hey, at least before that happened he got to watch Rihanna (jellyfish #2) do a striptease while Laureline was in imminent mortal danger.

Other random bad things: This film has not one, but TWO MacGuffins. There's a sequence where Valerian busts through an outer wall of a structure and starts to fall, but that structure is the space station city and he's now in open space so he should just be floating there. There's a character that comes into the story to do literally one thing and then gets killed immediately after, and there's a heartfelt scene where we're supposed to care but don't. At the end of the movie, the bad guy gets knocked the fuck out inside a tiny spaceship that's inside a giant spaceship, but after the giant ship blasts off, somehow the bad guy is left behind for the authorities to deal with, hanging from the ceiling DOWN INTO the area the giant ship previously occupied, tied up in some dangling wires or something. Also, Valerian suddenly turns into a by-the-books douchebag at the end just so there can be a little conflict between him and Laureline, after which he changes his mind and decides to do the right thing.

The only thing this film really has going for it is some very amazing looking and creative set-pieces. The opening montage that establishes the film's universe (set to David Bowie's Space Oddity) is very cool, and the first big action sequence is one of the most creative things I've seen in any sci-fi film. It's everything else that drags it down. Overall, I feel like this film is a 2/5, but I'll bump it up to 2.5/5 just for looking so fucking cool. Honestly, it's not quite bad enough to hate. It's just kind of bland and boring when it comes to the story and characters. I recommend skipping it, at least in theaters. Might be worth it if it comes to Netflix just for the visuals.

And it's too bad. Recast the leads, trim some of the fat (or give more compelling reasons for some of the later set-pieces to exist), and you'd really have something here. And oh yeah, don't have Valerian's body be inhabited by a time-traveling alien ghost.
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« Reply #1845 on: July 24, 2017, 05:48 am »

Today I watched Wonder Woman!

Actually I watched it two weeks ago but I instantly forgot I'd seen it.

An important cultural artifact for opening the Aeon of Ma'at maybe, but a flat, lame movie.
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« Reply #1846 on: August 01, 2017, 05:39 pm »

The new Apes movie is really good. Best in the series. The whole trilogy is maybe the best overall film trilogy in recent memory. I guess what I'm saying is I really like those Ape movies.
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« Reply #1847 on: August 03, 2017, 02:39 am »

the best film trilogy in recent memory for me is Fast Five-Fast & Furious 6-Furious Seven
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« Reply #1848 on: August 03, 2017, 02:41 am »

WAR FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES was real good it made me cry like 2 or 3 times. i just watched the whole series recently and my favorite is maybe CONQUEST where Roddy Mcdowall goes off as o.g Caesar
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