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Author Topic: Happy BondFiction Day Everybody  (Read 7357 times)
DiegoInglewood
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« on: October 25, 2012, 09:00 am »

Hey guys I am 21 today which means I can now legally drink alcohol in America. I can't wait to try beer for the first time and find out what all the fuss is about.

Now I demand that you all share your best drinking stories
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codespyder
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« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2012, 10:47 am »

rum + coke + sambuca = WHY WOULD ANYONE TRY TO MIX THAT OH GOD WHY
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FizzlePop
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« Reply #2 on: October 25, 2012, 11:05 am »

Oh hey man, let's split this bottle of absinthe and drink it all in one night.

Oh hey you can't drink that stuff pure, you have to mix it with something

*mix absinthe with vodka*

We have finished the entire bottle of absinthe but feel sorta alright, let us go to a bar

*enter bar*

*both parties faint*

exeunt
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pingollum
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« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2012, 11:28 am »

Step 1. Drink a litre of the cheapest appleton gold rum

Step 2 climb a wall up to the second floor and jump onto the balcony to help a friend break into her flat after losing her keys

Lesson learned: rum gives you magical spiderman abilities and there is absolutely no way that could have ended poorly for anyone
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RummyLu
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« Reply #4 on: October 25, 2012, 11:43 am »

I once had to walk home in only a sheet. It was fucking horrible.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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EFHRK
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« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2012, 12:06 pm »

Went a party in the woods. It was fucking crazy. Strobe lights and shit going off everywhere, dance music blasting from all sides, and I'm drunk as fuck.

The next morning was the most surreal thing ever. Woke up sitting up against a tree with this girl I didn't know sleeping on my lap. I walked around a bit and there were just unconscious bodies lying all over the place. Plus the sun was just coming up and someone apparently left a fog machine on overnight, so for a moment I got this really scary last-man-alive kinda vibe.
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codespyder
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« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2012, 12:26 pm »

Also, one time me and five buddies played a drinking game involving Texas No-Limit Hold Em.

The game was that, if you didn't win, you would take a shot.


It was the shortest game of poker I had ever played. And the worst.
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When I was 16 I got so drunk that I shit myself in a sleeping bag.
laktose
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« Reply #7 on: October 25, 2012, 12:47 pm »

I was out drinking the first time I met the girl I am now engaged to. We were trying to find a cab when I suddenly stumbled on a deceptively flat piece of sidewalk and by instinct I grabbed her to steady myself. She was as drunk as me, so what actually happened was I tripped and pulled a sweet ass wrestling move on her, slamming her down on the ground.
She must have liked my awesome display of raw power because she laughed and then we got on with our evening, so that was pretty cool.
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« Reply #8 on: October 25, 2012, 01:25 pm »

The first drink of alcohol I ever tasted was Woodchuck cider and I had to chase it with Pepsi.

Now I drink bourbon neat because I am a man.
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Joseph Nistal
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« Reply #9 on: October 25, 2012, 10:48 pm »

A few years back, work had its birthday party at a local nightclub just down the road from where I lived. There was a pretty huge tab and a lot of people ordering so it was prudent to order a lot of drinks in one go. For some reason I chose to drink screwdrivers all night. 5 at a time.

So I got royally shitfaced and after those of us remaining got turfed out after closing I walked home. I got as far as the street-side gate to my apartment and found it was too dark and I was way too drunk to even get the key in the gate so I sit down in front of it and passed out.

I woke up about 20 minutes later with some people standing over me obviously on their own way home (it's usually a pretty busy street on the edge of the city) and they're asking if I'm okay. I say something about it being fine and that I lived there and they carried on down the street and I passed out again.

Next thing I know I'm being picked up by two police officers about to put me in the back of their paddy wagon most likely for vagrancy. I realized what was happening and started to struggle and they tried to calm me down. I slurred out the same line about living there and they asked me my address. For whatever reason I gave them my old address about 20 kilometers away. They just said “That’s not here.” and tried to get me in the back of their car again.

It was about this point that I totally flipped my shit and started struggling again and yelling that I was wrong, it was my old address and “THIS KEY! THIS KEY WILL OPEN THAT GATE” holding my key to the gate in my hand up to their faces.

They actually caved, took the key off me and tried it in the gate and opened it. I immediately stormed through the small garden to my apartment, through the living room to my bedroom, shut the door and went to sleep, leaving my mother who’d been woken up by the commotion standing there with the two cops in the lounge.

“Is he gonna be okay?” one of the cops asked her.
“If his hangover doesn’t kill him.” She said back.

I was told by my mum the next day after I'd recovered enough to not throw up for 5 minutes that she had called me as I was on my way home and asked if I was nearby. Apparently my response was a whole heap of rambling gibberish, the only part of which she made out was me ending the call saying "I am the key-master."
« Last Edit: October 25, 2012, 10:56 pm by Joseph Nistal » Logged

Matt
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« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2012, 09:59 am »

On a trip to Japan before I started living here I was coming back up to Tokyo from visiting a friend in Nagoya. I was planning on checking into a cheap hotel but decided to go drinking beforehand and ended up at a place that had all you could drink of anything- 2 hours for ¥3000. I got chatting to some American girl who was also eager to be drinking heavily and ended up somehow betting that I could down a highball glass of straight rum without vomiting. I did this successfully and from that point I remember absolutely nothing else of what happened that night..

The next morning I woke up in a police holding cell with king of all hangovers and a ¥20,000 hospital bill for a drip. Said bill was never paid because I had no idea how to get back there to do so. I was covered in bruises and also wearing a t-shirt that wasn't mine. The police had no idea where it came from. I slept in a public restroom for about 4 or so hours and then went to the Studio Ghibli museum with a friend.
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RummyLu
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« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2012, 10:26 am »

My sheet experience doesn't seem so shameful now. STRENGTH IN NUMBERS!
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« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2012, 10:48 am »

Agreed, there is nothing as shameful as going to the studio ghibli museum.
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Lukeington
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« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2012, 12:56 pm »

i've been dumb and woken up in a myriad of unfortunate places, occasionally with some unfortunate people.

happy birthday dude.
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Illiterati
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« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2012, 01:05 pm »

The last drunk thing I ever had was a few days before my wedding, when I drank with a few friends and on my way home (this was about 5 am) I stopped by at a roadside eatery and I passed out there after having eaten a couple of spring rolls and some rice. The owner never woke me up, and at about 10 am I got up and went home. I returned to the eatery a couple of weeks later and the owner told me I still owed him for the food I ate that night.
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« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2012, 01:08 pm »

Also one time we went to a rock music show but we drank rum beforehand. I drank enough rum to knock me out, apparently, so a few minutes after arriving at the show I was already passed out and lying in the grass. I woke up in my friend's living room, and his mother and father where there watching television. I didn't know who they were at first so I just stood up silently and left without saying anything.
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DiegoInglewood
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« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2013, 11:12 pm »

I'M 22 NOW EVERYONE PLEASE CONTINUE WITH YOUR DRUNK STORIES
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codespyder
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« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2013, 11:54 pm »

youre not twenty two youre twenty POO
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codespyder
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« Reply #18 on: October 24, 2013, 11:54 pm »

and you smell
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When I was 16 I got so drunk that I shit myself in a sleeping bag.
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« Reply #19 on: October 24, 2013, 11:55 pm »

fcuk you what do you know im drunk
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When I was 16 I got so drunk that I shit myself in a sleeping bag.
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