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July 24, 2017, 09:45 am

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 1 
 on: Today at 05:48 am 
Started by Nicol - Last post by Chez San
Today I watched Wonder Woman!

Actually I watched it two weeks ago but I instantly forgot I'd seen it.

An important cultural artifact for opening the Aeon of Ma'at maybe, but a flat, lame movie.

 2 
 on: Today at 04:26 am 
Started by Nicol - Last post by Navigator2001Plus
Today I saw Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. More like Boredom and the City of a Thousand Visually Stunning Set-pieces But Not Much Else! I wish I liked it, and I wanted to like it, but this is no The Fifth Element. Warning: Mild spoilers to follow, but who cares, this film isn't very good.

To start with, Dane DeHaan (Valerian) and Cara Delevingne (Laureline) are boring as the film's two leads. There's no charisma and no chemistry between them. At no point does the film manage to make you care about either of them. Replace them with cardboard cutouts, and you wouldn't be losing any amount of emotional resonance. I mentally vomited in my brain-mouth when he asked her to marry him only minutes into the story.

The film also has issues with pacing. For 90% of it, information and clues about what's really going on are spread razor thin, and then right at the end you get a huge infodump from some aliens that explain what's going on. Which wouldn't be as bad if the film didn't waste time with pointless filler that exists only to look cool and pad out the run-time.

At one point, there are back to back sequences where Valerian and then Laureline are in peril, and the other has to save them, but first, they each have to put a jellyfish on their head. I may be grossly oversimplifying there, but that's literally what happens. The worst part is that Valerian puts the jellyfish on his head in order to avoid a diplomatic incident, but ends up scalping an alien king and killing all his bodyguards anyway. But hey, at least before that happened he got to watch Rihanna (jellyfish #2) do a striptease while Laureline was in imminent mortal danger.

Other random bad things: This film has not one, but TWO MacGuffins. There's a sequence where Valerian busts through an outer wall of a structure and starts to fall, but that structure is the space station city and he's now in open space so he should just be floating there. There's a character that comes into the story to do literally one thing and then gets killed immediately after, and there's a heartfelt scene where we're supposed to care but don't. At the end of the movie, the bad guy gets knocked the fuck out inside a tiny spaceship that's inside a giant spaceship, but after the giant ship blasts off, somehow the bad guy is left behind for the authorities to deal with, hanging from the ceiling DOWN INTO the area the giant ship previously occupied, tied up in some dangling wires or something. Also, Valerian suddenly turns into a by-the-books douchebag at the end just so there can be a little conflict between him and Laureline, after which he changes his mind and decides to do the right thing.

The only thing this film really has going for it is some very amazing looking and creative set-pieces. The opening montage that establishes the film's universe (set to David Bowie's Space Oddity) is very cool, and the first big action sequence is one of the most creative things I've seen in any sci-fi film. It's everything else that drags it down. Overall, I feel like this film is a 2/5, but I'll bump it up to 2.5/5 just for looking so fucking cool. Honestly, it's not quite bad enough to hate. It's just kind of bland and boring when it comes to the story and characters. I recommend skipping it, at least in theaters. Might be worth it if it comes to Netflix just for the visuals.

And it's too bad. Recast the leads, trim some of the fat (or give more compelling reasons for some of the later set-pieces to exist), and you'd really have something here. And oh yeah, don't have Valerian's body be inhabited by a time-traveling alien ghost.

 3 
 on: July 23, 2017, 02:10 pm 
Started by fermun - Last post by nchammer326


https://twitter.com/solmaquina/status/878252029960966146

http://www.independent.ie/entertainment/television/tv-news/someone-spent-4-months-watching-all-28-seasons-of-the-simpsons-to-make-chart-outlining-shows-decline-35946213.html

 4 
 on: July 21, 2017, 05:32 am 
Started by SteelFan714 - Last post by BSam
pretty much unavailable now untl weekenf o 26/27th of august

 5 
 on: July 19, 2017, 02:52 pm 
Started by Melancholic Goat - Last post by SteelFan714
Szzzzzzny to Juve and I hate, hate it so much. Of all the many player sales I think this one irks me the most because there is just no logic to it I can see. The fee was not some irresistible amount. The player was not demanding a move and has always made it clear he wanted to be the club's #1 for his whole career, and that even his two loans were the manager's decision. He led the league famed for defense in clean sheets and is probably already better than Cech, but at minimum is certainly more valuable given his age, thus why the team which has been to two of the last three Champions League finals wants him to replace the GOAT.

And Arsenal is all, whatevs, sell his ass. He had a smoke in the shower as a mid-twenty-something year old, he is clearly unfit to wear the shirt. Let's keep the guy who never catches anything to back up the guy who at best has a few years left in him.

This is dumb and bad.

 6 
 on: July 19, 2017, 07:48 am 
Started by Reverend - Last post by evilspud
I don't have any pictures, but I made Alton Brown's red velvet cake and I have a ton of leftover cream cheese frosting.

 7 
 on: July 16, 2017, 10:08 pm 
Started by Nicol - Last post by DiegoInglewood
THE BIG SICK is funny and cute. It's the same as every Apatow production but it's also got a great 9/11 joke + Ray Romano & Holly Hunter as hashtag goals. this one, i give a thumbs up

 8 
 on: July 12, 2017, 02:04 pm 
Started by Johnny Roastbeef - Last post by Wibblewobble

UK Railway company puts 15-year-old work experience student in charge of Twitter account.








The company were actually more than happy with him.


 9 
 on: July 11, 2017, 11:51 pm 
Started by evilspud - Last post by Joseph Nistal
Just coming back to say that the last bit of today's chapter (Chapter 16: Denali, Alaska. Chicago, Illinois) made my stomach do a little sink and flip. I'm so hooked.

 10 
 on: July 10, 2017, 09:56 pm 
Started by Melancholic Goat - Last post by DiegoInglewood
21 Savage Issa Album a instant classic

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