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October 21, 2017, 02:26 pm

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1  Forum / General Discussion / Re: Going to live in the United States of AmeriKKKa. Need help. on: October 20, 2017, 12:59 am
Hi guys let's meet up in Ohio

WHEN MOTHERFUCKER
2  Forum / AV Club / Re: Free digital streaming movies on: October 13, 2017, 11:22 pm
Hey, The Lego Movie is pretty damned good.

Also, being able to port purchases over to other digital retailers is nice. There was the UV locker system, but Google Play, iTunes, and Amazon Video never got into UV. Vudu and FandangoNow are the only two major retailers left that link to UV, and FandangoNow fucking sucks, which basically leaves Vudu and makes UV libraries more useless.
3  Forum / AV Club / Re: Free digital streaming movies on: October 13, 2017, 11:04 pm
If anyone here uses Vudu, Google Play, iTunes, or Amazon Video to buy digital copies, you can register an account at Movies Anywhere and connect it to your retailer of choice to get some free movies.

https://moviesanywhere.com

The first retailer connection gives you Ghostbusters (2016) and Ice Age for free, and connecting a second retailer gives you The Lego Movie, Jason Bourne, and Big Hero 6.

After you've connected your accounts through MA, any compatible titles will port over to the other retailers. The studios that have signed on so far are Disney, Sony, Fox, Universal, and Warner Brothers. The service only just launched, and more retailers and studios should be supported in the future.
4  Forum / AV Club / Re: TODAY I WATCHED... on: October 10, 2017, 01:46 am
Yeah, Blade Runner 2049 was great. I was skeptical when I first heard they were doing a sequel way back, but this movie really feels like it's earned its right to exist.
5  Forum / AV Club / Re: shit that is on netflix streaming that you should be watching on: September 25, 2017, 12:08 am
I burned through the first season of The Good Place over the weekend. Without spoiling anything, the basic premise is that the main character in the show accidentally ends up in The Good Place after she dies in a case of mistaken identity. Over the course of the show she tries to learn to not be such a piece of shit and also has to hide the fact that she doesn't belong there.

It starts kind of slow, and I was "meh" on it after the first two episodes, but just a couple episodes after that I was hooked. It gets pretty damned funny in its later episodes. After I finished that, I watched episode one of the just started season two. It will be interesting to see where they take the show.
6  Forum / AV Club / Re: shit that is on netflix streaming that you should be watching on: September 20, 2017, 01:38 am
Here's the trailer in case anyone needs more convincing:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3tkFOtM6go" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3tkFOtM6go</a>
7  Forum / AV Club / Re: shit that is on netflix streaming that you should be watching on: September 18, 2017, 01:25 am
American Vandal is amazing. It's a parody of those true crime documentaries, but the crime here is that someone spray painted dicks on 27 teachers' cars in the school parking lot. The student suspected gets expelled, and a fellow student starts a documentary to search out the truth. The comedy in it comes from the fact that it's played with a total poker face and takes itself 100% seriously. It is presented in earnest as a compelling whodunit.
8  Forum / AV Club / Re: TODAY I WATCHED... on: August 30, 2017, 01:41 am
fuck anthony bourdain
9  Forum / AV Club / Re: TODAY I WATCHED... on: July 24, 2017, 04:26 am
Today I saw Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. More like Boredom and the City of a Thousand Visually Stunning Set-pieces But Not Much Else! I wish I liked it, and I wanted to like it, but this is no The Fifth Element. Warning: Mild spoilers to follow, but who cares, this film isn't very good.

To start with, Dane DeHaan (Valerian) and Cara Delevingne (Laureline) are boring as the film's two leads. There's no charisma and no chemistry between them. At no point does the film manage to make you care about either of them. Replace them with cardboard cutouts, and you wouldn't be losing any amount of emotional resonance. I mentally vomited in my brain-mouth when he asked her to marry him only minutes into the story.

The film also has issues with pacing. For 90% of it, information and clues about what's really going on are spread razor thin, and then right at the end you get a huge infodump from some aliens that explain what's going on. Which wouldn't be as bad if the film didn't waste time with pointless filler that exists only to look cool and pad out the run-time.

At one point, there are back to back sequences where Valerian and then Laureline are in peril, and the other has to save them, but first, they each have to put a jellyfish on their head. I may be grossly oversimplifying there, but that's literally what happens. The worst part is that Valerian puts the jellyfish on his head in order to avoid a diplomatic incident, but ends up scalping an alien king and killing all his bodyguards anyway. But hey, at least before that happened he got to watch Rihanna (jellyfish #2) do a striptease while Laureline was in imminent mortal danger.

Other random bad things: This film has not one, but TWO MacGuffins. There's a sequence where Valerian busts through an outer wall of a structure and starts to fall, but that structure is the space station city and he's now in open space so he should just be floating there. There's a character that comes into the story to do literally one thing and then gets killed immediately after, and there's a heartfelt scene where we're supposed to care but don't. At the end of the movie, the bad guy gets knocked the fuck out inside a tiny spaceship that's inside a giant spaceship, but after the giant ship blasts off, somehow the bad guy is left behind for the authorities to deal with, hanging from the ceiling DOWN INTO the area the giant ship previously occupied, tied up in some dangling wires or something. Also, Valerian suddenly turns into a by-the-books douchebag at the end just so there can be a little conflict between him and Laureline, after which he changes his mind and decides to do the right thing.

The only thing this film really has going for it is some very amazing looking and creative set-pieces. The opening montage that establishes the film's universe (set to David Bowie's Space Oddity) is very cool, and the first big action sequence is one of the most creative things I've seen in any sci-fi film. It's everything else that drags it down. Overall, I feel like this film is a 2/5, but I'll bump it up to 2.5/5 just for looking so fucking cool. Honestly, it's not quite bad enough to hate. It's just kind of bland and boring when it comes to the story and characters. I recommend skipping it, at least in theaters. Might be worth it if it comes to Netflix just for the visuals.

And it's too bad. Recast the leads, trim some of the fat (or give more compelling reasons for some of the later set-pieces to exist), and you'd really have something here. And oh yeah, don't have Valerian's body be inhabited by a time-traveling alien ghost.
10  Forum / General Discussion / Re: Things You Can't Say on Social Media Because Your Friends/Family Reads Them on: June 20, 2017, 01:58 am
That's not true. Two of them are just wearing regular shorts like a couple of no-fucking losers.
11  Forum / General Discussion / Re: New IRC channel! Buttbot's back! on: June 05, 2017, 12:27 am
the end to this had me laughing so hard i started coughing

fermun - Today at 1:09 AM
i like discord's search feature, very powerful
frogbone - Today at 1:09 AM
it's good
it's better than Skype which deletes chat archives seemingly at random
and takes about 15 minutes to tell you your search result turned up nothing
Zach - Today at 1:10 AM
discord is keeping all our conversations so they can steal any good movie ideas we come up with
frogbone - Today at 1:10 AM
picture this
the year is 2077
navigator - Today at 1:11 AM
movie idea: more movies directed by shane black starring and narrated by RDJ
frogbone - Today at 1:11 AM
i am in a hot tub with many attractive women
a space hot tub
navigator - Today at 1:11 AM
already this movie is breaking my suspension of disbelief
BSam - Today at 1:11 AM
60 years in the future
so, how old will you be 72?
frogbone - Today at 1:12 AM
no that's the weird thing is they'll have solved aging, so i'll be exactly as old as i am right now
BSam - Today at 1:12 AM
12?
frogbone - Today at 1:12 AM
so, when can we start principle photography
navigator - Today at 1:13 AM
unless they solve aging by tomorrow, you'd have aged until it's solved, then you'd stay THAT age
Zach - Today at 1:13 AM
nah they'll probably be able to reverse your age too
frogbone - Today at 1:13 AM
why are you guys hot tub blocking me right now
BSam - Today at 1:14 AM
i'm not
Zach - Today at 1:14 AM
in fact, in the future everyone will be boss babies
BSam - Today at 1:14 AM
i'm just calling you a child
frogbone - Today at 1:14 AM
i just want to get in a pool of heated water with bodacious babes
navigator - Today at 1:14 AM
would it be pedophilia to fuck a child that was an adult before they did the age reverse procedure
Zach - Today at 1:15 AM
yes
frogbone - Today at 1:15 AM
imma say
... .... ...
... .......................................
also yes
navigator - Today at 1:15 AM
so you become less mentally capable if you go back to that young?
frogbone - Today at 1:15 AM
i don't know do you
if you don't i guess it'd be fine
it'd be gross
much like many sex things what people do
CatAstrophe - Today at 1:16 AM
It's pedophilia because the person is child-bodied and that's the definition of pedophilia
frogbone - Today at 1:16 AM
you're right
CatAstrophe - Today at 1:16 AM
Is it rape is the philosophical question
frogbone - Today at 1:17 AM
is it statutory rape is the question we should be asking
CatAstrophe - Today at 1:17 AM
If the person has the mind and life years of experience as an adult is it rape?
frogbone - Today at 1:17 AM
no wait statutory rape is asking a legalistic question
it would be statutory rape if the statute says it's rape
navigator - Today at 1:18 AM
ah, yes, that is more what i meant
CatAstrophe - Today at 1:19 AM
Acting on pedophilia is always rape because we can't turn adults into children physically
BSam - Today at 1:19 AM
but if we could, would it be moral?
CatAstrophe - Today at 1:19 AM
I'd rather we never have to find out
Zach - Today at 1:20 AM
sorry, frogbone. sounds like it's a hard pass on your pedophile hot tub movie idea
12  Forum / AV Club / Re: TODAY I WATCHED... on: May 14, 2017, 10:52 pm
Finished Iron Fist on Netflix. Aside from some of the fight scenes looking a little janky, it's really not too bad.
13  Forum / AV Club / Re: TODAY I WATCHED... on: April 22, 2017, 05:09 am
i watched sausage party on netflix and it's fucking trash.

i thought there had to be more to it than food being ethnic stereotypes and saying "fuck" but i was wrong. i don't understand how this movie had so many good reviews. 83% on RT, seriously? the best i can say for it is that it's not literally the worst movie i've ever seen.

the only time i chuckled was at the start when the food was saying "fuck" every three seconds and i laughed thinking about what some of you had said about the only "jokes" being the food saying "fuck", but i don't think that counts. i don't think i laughed or smiled the entire rest of it.

the part where i knew for sure the movie wasn't going to get any better was near the beginning when some german food product was talking about exterminating the juice. GET IT? JUICE SOUNDS LIKE JEWS! i'll wait if you need a minute.

i give it a 1.00000000001/5
14  Forum / Dumbtown / Re: nerds fucking suck on: April 12, 2017, 12:58 pm
I AM SO FUCKING PUMPED FOR THIS MOVIE RAAAAAAAAAAAAA
15  Forum / AV Club / Re: TODAY I WATCHED... on: February 26, 2017, 11:37 pm
Get Out is really good! Go see it!

John Wick 2 is also good! See that too!
16  Forum / General Discussion / Re: i'm going to be in london and paris in a month, what do I do on: February 14, 2017, 03:13 am
I will also be in England then! Flying out March 3rd and back on the 12th. Maybe we can meet up at some point.

One fun thing to do is ride the London Eye at night.
17  Forum / General Discussion / Re: New IRC channel! Buttbot's back! on: January 20, 2017, 04:57 am
Here's Lee's custom CSS. http://pastebin.com/qTv5xAYD

To use it you have to install Better Discord, then look for it in the settings, copy Lee's text to the Custom CSS page, then click update and then save it. I also have minimal mode turned on.
18  Forum / General Discussion / Re: New IRC channel! Buttbot's back! on: January 19, 2017, 12:45 pm
overall discord is decent i guess. installing Better Discord and Lee's custom CSS makes the layout a lot better and the features it has over IRC are pretty nice.
19  Forum / General Discussion / Re: New IRC channel! Buttbot's back! on: January 19, 2017, 12:33 pm
dammit karlski
20  Forum / AV Club / Re: rogue 1 spoilers on: January 19, 2017, 11:13 am
yeah but you're wrong

this movie is Not Very Good

incorrect
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