Dragon Mountain

Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: HyperGlavin on October 26, 2011, 03:56 am



Title: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: HyperGlavin on October 26, 2011, 03:56 am
Any kind of advice, really. I'm not fussy.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: oball on October 26, 2011, 03:58 am
Always allow steak to equilibrate to room temperature before cooking it.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Chronicles on October 26, 2011, 04:51 am
10:48:33: <jmd> never trust a perfectly calm dog
10:48:37: <jmd> they are liars
10:50:16: <SecondCalvin> when asking for advice, try not to be vague
10:50:41: <Karlski> don't chew on mittens
10:51:24: <laktose> don't eat yellow snow
10:51:35: <vT> melt it, then drink it
10:51:45: <Karlski> don't believe this statement, it's a lie


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: oball on October 26, 2011, 04:58 am
When you have to shoot, shoot.  Don't talk.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Nicol on October 26, 2011, 06:44 am
Gain heaps of weight and then wear make-up and dark clothing as if you were a Goth. Spend only as much money as you need to keep yourself employable, and then send the rest of it to me. Read all of Ayn Rand's writings. Consider keeping reptiles as pets.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Hypermanic_Zen on October 26, 2011, 06:45 am
Never wear anything that could be described as "bright brown".


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: laktose on October 26, 2011, 07:22 am
Save money and time by cooking mince and then freezing it.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: laktose on October 26, 2011, 07:32 am
Don't let anyone lick your butt because you could get their saliva in your butt and that is gross.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Nedroid on October 26, 2011, 07:35 am
Don't tie a snake in a knot. They don't like it.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Skeletonic on October 26, 2011, 07:48 am
Never wear three ties. Nobody trusts a triple tied man. Nobody.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: norumaru on October 26, 2011, 08:09 am
Broccoli tastes best when it is, directly before eating, replaced with a juicy steak.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Citizen Snips on October 26, 2011, 08:17 am
Jump around. Jump up and get down.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: BIG_STONE on October 26, 2011, 08:57 am
If you poop your underwear, don't get in a car wreck.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: DiegoInglewood on October 26, 2011, 09:39 am
never pet a dog that's on fire


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: codespyder on October 26, 2011, 10:19 am
Buy low, sell lower


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Benny B on October 26, 2011, 10:28 am
In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: badboy on October 26, 2011, 10:28 am
If you are going to cook something 20 minutes at 350 degrees, you can instead just cook it 10 minutes at 700 degrees.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: RummyLu on October 26, 2011, 10:30 am
Don't look at Skeletonic's avatar when you're really tired.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Not A Spatula on October 26, 2011, 10:31 am
Have a nice day.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Luna Fortuna on October 26, 2011, 11:02 am
Never tell anyone no. Take up knitting, send quaint knitted gifts to all of us.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Honest Abe on October 26, 2011, 11:03 am
when you see yourself being angry, let that anger go


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: DiegoInglewood on October 26, 2011, 11:23 am
as an addendum to that, remember the golden rule: rub butts on others as they would rub your butt


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Wibblewobble on October 26, 2011, 11:55 am
If after two weeks you're still stuck in the larval stage, for crying out loud pupate and get a life.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Lukeington on October 26, 2011, 12:02 pm
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Look it in the testicles and gauge its virility.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: codespyder on October 26, 2011, 12:26 pm
MAYBE MEANS YES
SILENCE MEANS YES
DRUNK MEANS YES
STONED MEANS YES
NO MEANS YES


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Mr Gale on October 26, 2011, 12:35 pm
Buy a boat. Nobody says NO on a boat. Because of the implication.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: boron on October 26, 2011, 01:18 pm
Always buy shirts and pants a size smaller than you actually are.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Illiterati on October 26, 2011, 02:07 pm
STAY CALM


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: DoctorShenanigans on October 26, 2011, 02:17 pm
Let the hostages go, this is between you and me


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Logical Penguin on October 26, 2011, 02:28 pm
Turn off your PS2 and your TV.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: badboy on October 26, 2011, 03:11 pm
Now, turn on your PS2 and TV.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Illiterati on October 26, 2011, 03:34 pm
Kill all cops


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Luna Fortuna on October 26, 2011, 04:02 pm
Bake muffins for all cops.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: ulyssesdraco on October 26, 2011, 04:44 pm
Then kill all muffins.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Ishliquor on October 26, 2011, 05:37 pm
We hold these truths to be self-evident; if the beat workin' then the rhymes are irrelevant (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu0wc3EiPrU&feature=related)

What I'm trying to tell you is, listen to Hardknocks.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: codespyder on October 26, 2011, 08:49 pm
Only turn around and look at me when I tell you to, you dirty worthless whore.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: CatAstrophe on October 26, 2011, 09:42 pm
Ignore all advice.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: RockinJoe12 on October 26, 2011, 09:51 pm
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: codespyder on October 26, 2011, 10:08 pm
(http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/121/214/tumblr_lku7ehWsy51qzikmfo1_500.jpg?1318992465)


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: badboy on October 26, 2011, 10:34 pm
Don't have sex; it's really not worth all the hype


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: pingollum on October 26, 2011, 11:12 pm
Mind the gap between the train and the platform


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: laktose on October 27, 2011, 02:58 am
Start smoking, it's great stress relief.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Alderaan on October 27, 2011, 04:53 am
Don't touch yourself there, it's dirty.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: VoodooTissue on October 27, 2011, 05:04 am
everything is unclean


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Citizen Snips on October 27, 2011, 05:40 am
Have a Coke and a smile.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Mr Gale on October 27, 2011, 07:37 am
Dance if you want to, but if your friends don't dance then be judgmental and cut off contact.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Ambrose Burnsides on October 27, 2011, 08:43 am
Tie yourself to a tree and hope for the best.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Honest Abe on October 27, 2011, 09:05 am
be kind and compassionate to those you disagree with


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Skeletonic on October 27, 2011, 10:28 am
Drink martinis. Shaken, not stirred.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: codespyder on October 27, 2011, 11:32 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xK0njkATf84


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Luna Fortuna on October 27, 2011, 12:59 pm
Stock a bunker, just in case. The best food to store will be shock tarts because they do not perish and will never get boring.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Wibblewobble on October 27, 2011, 01:45 pm
Blue Cheese; Don't bother.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: 88FingersLouie on October 27, 2011, 04:42 pm
Always kill the first prisoner, to set a standard.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Skeletonic on October 27, 2011, 05:11 pm
Just do it.


Title: Re: Guys, I could use some advice.
Post by: Ishliquor on October 27, 2011, 05:36 pm
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!

When you're the only person to upload the perfect Phil Hartman quote in response to this, synch the audio properly ferchrissakes. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpSzvc-raGg)

As an addendum: acknowledge a true master of the craft of humour, known to us as Phil.
*puts on hat, then removes it to observe a moment of laughter*