Dragon Mountain

Forum => Linkies => Topic started by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 14, 2010, 04:17 pm



Title: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 14, 2010, 04:17 pm
I'm always finding fun news stories that I enjoy laughing about or taking the piss out of.  Let's have a thread for it.

The NAACP has condemned racism in the Tea Party. (http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/07/14/naacp.tea.party/)

The Tea Party responds by demonstrating that they have nothing worthwhile to say about anything ever.

Quote
"I am disinclined to take lectures on racial sensitivity from a group that insists on calling black people, 'Colored,' " Mark Williams, national spokesman of the Tea Party Express, told CNN.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: nchammer326 on July 14, 2010, 05:57 pm
From National Review, (http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=YjAwNzJlNzVkYmM2OGQ2Yjk5MzA2NTUwYWI5ZDc5NTU) on Obama's lousy opening pitch at a Nationals game:

Quote
Watching the president throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Nats game yesterday (which you can watch on the homepage), I couldn't help but think of President Bush's first turn at that task. Yankee Stadium in October of 2001, under much different circumstances.

As Bush chatted with the Yanks in their clubhouse before the game, he was reportedly told by Derek Jeter that, if he missed the plate, he'd be booed — "United We Stand" or not.

As you can see, though he was burdened with heavy body armor under his FDNY fleece, Bush didn't miss the plate. He fired a sinker in there for a belt-high strike. Just sayin'.

An excellent rebuttal from Mr. Destructo (http://www.mrdestructo.com/2010/04/field-of-schemes-ii-obamas-not-natural.html):

Quote
Sure, Obama never played any kind of organized baseball. Sure, Bush was a lifelong baseball enthusiast who owned a fucking baseball team. The two guys are practically identical in experience. Yet Obama comes up short. Just sayin'. Wait—what's that? Can Bush dunk and post up on a whiteboy? Uh, he pretty obviously can, since I just established their equivalency. My president can beat up your president.

And yes I remember very clearly when the president threw a baseball nine years ago. And yes, of course I remember what he was wearing (it most certainly wasn't shorts). Who wouldn't? What are you suggesting?

This guy does a lot of takedowns on similar articles (http://www.mrdestructo.com/2009/07/field-of-schemes-glimpse-at-neocon.html) and they're all hilarious.

Quote
Though it's not a widely appreciated fact, we right-winger sports nuts have long known that the sports press is among the media's leftiest precincts.
Here he just makes shit up right out of the gate. No citation, not even token handwaving. It's just MEDIA=LIBERAL suddenly oriented to sports for no reason other than that McCarthy happens to be writing about sports right now. I'm sure the political orientation of some sportswriters matters to Andrew McCarthy, but nobody else in America knows where most sportswriters fall along the political spectrum because nobody fucking cares.


So I suppose we shouldn't be surprised at how little was said (as in nothing at all) about the reception President Obama received last night when he came out on the field to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at the baseball all-star game in St. Louis. It was a packed house (over 50,000 in attendance), and the jeers were easily discernible.
The reasons nothing was said are easily discernible, too, which immediately disqualifies them from appearing in McCarthy's column:

1. St. Louis' baseball rival team is the Chicago Cubs, and while antipathy is mostly directed at that team, St. Louis fans hate Chicago in general. This rivalry goes back decades. Obama is from Chicago. Obama stood on the mound wearing a Chicago White Sox jersey. In St. Louis. In the ballpark for the St. Louis baseball team. He is a man from Chicago wearing a Chicago jersey in the home stadium of people who hate Chicago.

2. Missouri's a really white state.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on July 16, 2010, 01:14 am
more from Mark Williams, the guy that JRB mentioned:

Quote from: Mark Williams
Dear Mr. Lincoln

We Colored People have taken a vote and decided that we don't cotton to that whole emancipation thing.  Freedom means having to work for real, think for ourselves, and take consequences along with the rewards.  That is just far too much to ask of us Colored People and we demand that it stop!

In fact we held a big meeting and took a vote in Kansas City this week.  We voted to condemn a political revival of that old abolitionist spirit called the 'tea party movement'.

The tea party position to "end the bailouts" for example is just silly.  Bailouts are just big money welfare and isn't that what we want all Coloreds to strive for?  What kind of racist would want to end big money welfare?  What they need to do is start handing the bail outs directly to us coloreds!  Of course, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is the only responsible party that should be granted the right to disperse the funds.

And the ridiculous idea of "reduce[ing] the size and intrusiveness of government."  What kind of massa would ever not want to control my life?  As Coloreds we must have somebody care for us otherwise we would be on our own, have to think for ourselves and make decisions!

The racist tea parties also demand that the government "stop the out of control spending."  Again, they directly target Colored People.  That means we Colored People would have to compete for jobs like everybody else and that is just not right.

Perhaps the most racist point of all in the tea parties is their demand that government "stop raising our taxes."  That is outrageous!    How will we Colored People ever get a wide screen TV in every room if non-coloreds get to keep what they earn?  Totally racist!  The tea party expects coloreds to be productive members of society?

Mr. Lincoln, you were the greatest racist ever.  We had a great gig.  Three squares, room and board, all our decisions made by the massa in the house.  Please repeal the 13th and 14th Amendments and let us get back to where we belong.

Sincerely

Precious Ben Jealous, Tom's Nephew  National Association for the Advancement of Colored People Head Colored Person

Right after that, Tim Wise, a well-known anti-racism activist posted this in the comments. It's rather long, but Mark Williams replies to this so I thought I'd toss in the full comment so that you can see what he's replying to.
Quote from: Tim Wise
July 15, 2010 at 3:43 PM
Not that I expect you to care about my views Mark, as I am no supporter of the Tea Party, but for the sake of civil discourse, would you at least be willing to engage in a brief dialogue here about your position, and this “letter?” Preferably by a) not deleting this message or editing it in any way, and b) responding calmly and rationally to it?

Here’s the thing: it is perfectly legitimate of course to take a “limited government” position, or an anti-tax position. And such positions absolutely do not make a person a racist. Certainly not in isolation.

What I mean by this is that if one supports limited government and tax cuts because that person believes “black people are welfare leeches who are soaking up all the government money” then THAT would be a) absurdly inaccurate, and b) racist in that it is rooted in profound racial resentment. But a generic belief in small government and low taxes? No problem there. These positions could and no doubt would exist even if everyone in a society were the same color. And frankly, none of us who have been critical of the TP movement have said otherwise to my knowledge.

More central to the critique have been some of the blatantly racist signs at rallies, or the birther nonsense, or some of your own racialized and seemingly prejudiced rhetoric about Obama being an “Indonesian Muslim” and “welfare thug.” To the extent welfare is a pretty racialized concept in this society (and frankly, post 9/11 even Islam has been racialized in the public imagination in many ways) surely you can see why that would be viewed as racially insensitive, no?

Anyway, you are right of course to argue that the folks with the racist signs are a minority in the movement. True. And the folks sending around the racist emails with the president with the bone thru his nose, or the white house lawn covered in watermelons are a minority. But they are a visible and loud one. And some of us find it odd that there has never been a clear attempt by you or any other TP figure in a position of prominence to tell folks like that “we do not want you in our movement. We don’t want you at our rallies.” This, despite the fact that before the march in DC in 09 there was advice on the 912 website advising protesters to dress properly for the heat and “not to bring water pistols.” So, water pistols were worth telling folks not to bring, but not birther signs and racist signs, and crazy stuff like that.

Okey doke…

As for the NAACP: to call them racist for their name is the height of ignorance, and you must surely know it. The group formed in 1909, at which time that was the term. Now, perhaps they could have changed their name, but for the sake of organizational continuity most groups don’t do that. There is a proud history behind that group, as surely you must recognize. Needless to say, NAACP members don’t go around calling themselves colored or other folks colored in conversation. It is simply the name so as to demonstrate the longevity of one of the nation’s premier civil rights groups.

Secondly, this letter, as many of your other commenters above have noted is highly insensitive (not just un-PC), and can easily be construed as racist. To begin, you trip every stereotype about black people being lazy, wanting flat screen TVs with taxpayer dollars, and not wanting to work, etc so as to make your point. How is that not racist? (Aside from being inaccurate in terms of what black folks’ values actually are).

And even more, the idea that black people want to be “government pets” is insulting as hell. Think about this Mark: what do you make of the fact that most black people do in fact support liberal policies when it comes to safety net programs, taxation, etc., and that most do not agree with your side? I mean, either you have to believe that they are just inherently lazy and want to be taken care of, rather than work–which is a racist view applied to blacks as a group–or that they are so inherently stupid that they can’t resist the siren song of liberal groups like the NAACP or whomever. But that too is a racist argument: to suggest that blacks can be so easily fooled and can’t think straight is racist. Period.

You trip this trope again when you say in the comment thread above that you don’t care about offending the “least common denominator” who are “the current administration’s power base and are kept like favored house pets.” Considering that you had just previously referenced “colored folks” desire to be kept like pets, and given that the President’s biggest support base is with black folks–true–this must mean that you view black people as the nation’s (or perhaps humanity’s) “least common denominator” about whom you don’t care.

Fair enough, but don’t be shocked when people view this as racism.

Can’t you simply make your argument without resorting to this kind of thing? I mean personally I don’t much care, because people like you make it easier for those of us on the left to make our points. But I am fascinated by your Mel Gibson-esque short fuse and your unwillingness to respond to criticism without having to aggressively attack the people critiquing you and the movement of which you are a part.

and now for an excerpt of quotes from the crazy fucker Mark Williams replying to this comment:

Quote
   Where in that article do you see me addressing American Blacks, or any black people for that matter?

    I am mocking those people who call themselves “Colored People” and who are now fighting to be kept as government owned pets, whilst hurling charges of racism at those who embrace freedom and civil rights.

    It is in your head that the term “Colored People” means “Black”.


Quote
   Such is the crippling power of PC that otherwise freedom loving people cave at the first whiff of what somebody else might think. I personally do not care what the lowest common denominator thinks of me, they are the current administration’s power base and are kept like favored house pets. They are fighting against your and my right to think and speak, and they are winning.

    You must have dozed off or something Jim because your pod has clearly hatched.


Quote
   I am clueless as to your point Joe about “this guy”, libertarians and debates involving “the originator of the Tea Party”. History suggests that Samuel Adams would be the originator and to the best of my knowledge the tea partiers were with him at the [Old] South Meeting House, where they had gathered to act on the idea.

    That was 1773 so you will excuse me for being absent.

    I shall do my best to answer the part of your comment that I actually understand.

    My first tea party was 206 years later in 1979 when we organized to beat back a massive pay increase that the Massachusetts legislature voted itself (we won) and then again in 1988 when the Congress did the same thing. In that instance we not only beat back the pay increase but secured the resignation of then Speaker Jim Wright.

    The current incarnation was of course sparked by a TV commentator in February 2009 and followed through on by some 50,000+ individuals who organized to hold our first series of rallies a week later.

    The Sacramento rally, organized by Free Republic and emceed by me was on February 29, 2009.

Quote
   “massa” owned slaves. The group that calls itself “Colored People” want government to be the new massa.

    Try thinking for yourself instead of getting all hung up on whatever baggage filled with guilt you’re carrying around. The entire point of my book “One Tea Party at a Time” is that you are crippled – mentally and emotionally by political correctness and thus powerless to defend yourself. You are at the mercy of whatever you fear somebody else may think of you…

    …unless you drop the PC garbage and look at the issues. The reasons the NAACP did what it did are several: Mr. Jealous trying to save his own political ass in an organization that is lukewarm about him; the group is a dusty throwback fighting to be relevant again; they are cashing in on the tea party movement by hitching a ride on the Tea Party Express; and they want to continue enslaving American Blacks with the yolk of the past and strike fear into your heart.

Quote
   Chris, on reflection and re-read I agree with you that my use of the word “massa” was ill-advised and probably offensive. That is an unnecessary detraction from my point so I have revised the offending copy… along with a phrase about “wide screen” television sets, that too could be construed as racially based.

    To those offended by those errors in judgement on my part I apologize.

Quote
   Real simple. That the NAACP does not speak for anyone outside of its own narrow little group of backward looking people. In their world view they still cannot sit at a lunch counter or the front of the bus. The last group in America for whom they can claim a right to speak for is Black American Citizens. W.E.B. DuBois never intended the organization to work against civil rights and use the government as an extortionist for favored social classes.

    The difference between then and now is that DuBois knew real racism first hand. He also knew the power of government to perpetuate and enforce that racism. Jealous and his cronies would be set upon by the original NAACP founders and run out the organization faster than we in the tea party movement disavow racists who try to latch onto us.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on July 16, 2010, 03:23 pm
More:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jFfQ-1zi8D0


Edit: This guy is just the gift that keeps giving. emphasis mine
Quote
Letter to Lincoln
.
A personal note from Mark Williams:
I learned this morning that Ben Jealous, author of the NAACP anti-tea party resolution has offered something of an olive branch and wants to open discussions with tea partiers regarding dialing down the unproductive shots going back and forth. After being told of Mr. Jealous’ offer I contacted his office via email and provided him with all of my contact information, including my private telephone number in order to speak man to man with him and find common ground for progress. I do hope that he follows through and calls. The first round of beers at our ’summit’ will be on me.
Following what I believe to be a sincere move by Mr. Jealous I recognize that I have a responsibility to act in kind (just as I did in response to the NAACP’s anti-tea party resolution and what was said about us) and that the continued controversy over this post can only dectract from the discussions. Furthermore, I applaud Mr. Jealous and welcome his willingness to help move us past talking points and personalities. This nation has real problems and we are in real danger. That is no time for Mark Williams and Ben Jealous to get into a battle of egos and personalities.
Point made now we move forward.
To that end and as a reciprocal gesture I have removed the parody letter you came here to read and urge you to fight those who seek to divide us by race, no matter the color of the racist. Our fight is against tyranny and for liberty and to see that this nation continues the lofty goal of equality for all set for us by our founders. Make no mistake though, there are those for whom peace and progress is poison and they will continue to circulate the several versions of my article (Yes, there were several versions. As reasonable people pointed out to me wording that I agreed was indeed objectionable it was removed or changed by me personally.)
Now that Mr. Jealous and others realize their error and seek to mend fences it becomes my job to not offend rational people who disagree with me on the relevant issues while not sacrificing the truth. I heard too from many very sober and thoughtful people who counseled me that my comments were an obstacle to progress and that I missed my intended target. The day that I cannot learn something new will be the one following the coroner’s signature on my death certificate and this is not that day. So, with that I reiterate what I and every tea partier have said repeatedly: We denounce racists of any color and all those who seek to divide the American People along any lines.
I would suggest to those offended by the term “Colored People” (the phrase that made my article so controversial) please contact the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People and join me in calling for an end to their use of the racial slur and that Mr. Jealous take me up on my offer to travel with me on the next Tea Party Express so that he may meet all of you in person. His contact information is below.
Sincerely,
Mark Williams
NAACP Telephone: (410) 580-5777 or (877) NAACP-98
More NAACP contact information and email form here: http://www.naacp.org/page/s/contact


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 17, 2010, 08:23 am
The Tea Party isn't about race fermun.  It's about keeping lazy black people from stealing our money with their socialist taxes.  How could you possibly think that statement has anything to do with race?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 18, 2010, 08:02 pm
During Apollo 12 they landed a tiny piece of art from several artists on the moon. (http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/tiny-art-museum-hidden-aboard-apollo-12-for-its-moon-landing/19516542)

Andy Warhol totally drew a dick.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Driscoll on July 19, 2010, 05:41 pm
Now that is some shitty art. They probably just launched it because it was taking up too much space on earth.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on July 19, 2010, 07:04 pm
Im not sure thats really a case of "amazing story of art winning its place alongside science" so much as an amazing story about one crazy engineer with a really weird sense of humour.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 19, 2010, 08:42 pm
I think you guys are missing the bigger picture.  It's an amazing story that someone flew pecker graffiti to the fucking moon.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on July 19, 2010, 09:26 pm
I think you guys are missing the bigger picture.

But it was tiny, and so were the replicas.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 27, 2010, 07:48 pm
Legitimate evidence that Glenn Beck incites terrorism. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-boehlert/glenn-becks-incendiary-an_b_660429.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Hypermanic_Zen on August 06, 2010, 08:17 am
Saudi Arabia bans Klingon language. (http://www.bbspot.com/News/2010/08/saudi-arabia-bans-klingon-language.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on August 08, 2010, 06:43 am
Quote
Government officials said they were also debating a ban on other hard to decipher languages like Jive and Pig Latin, but have yet to reach a final decision.

I suspect that's a joke article.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on August 08, 2010, 05:39 pm
He's still allowed to love it.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on August 09, 2010, 11:08 pm
Cartoons replace photographs of UK football match (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-10914863)

Quote
Plymouth Argyle's winning goal against Southampton was captured by a cartoonist after the home side banned photographers from its grounds.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on October 08, 2010, 10:52 am
India angry after TV host mocks Dikshit (http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/10/08/3032685.htm)

Quote
The controversial host made an on-air apology shortly before his suspension was announced, saying "I certainly didn't intend to sound racist", but invited further controversy by referring to himself as "half-gyppo".


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on August 10, 2011, 11:05 am
This thread does not get enough love, in my opinion.

T-shirts trick German neo-Nazis (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-08-10/t-shirts-trick-german-neo-nazis/2834026)

Quote
The slogan on the shirts first read "hardcore rebels" along with a skull and nationalist flags. But once washed the slogan turned into a message from a group offering help to right-wing extremists to break away from the neo-Nazi scene.

"If your T-shirt can do it, you can do it too - we'll help you get away from right-wing extremism," read the slogan on the shirts after their first wash.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on January 30, 2012, 09:59 pm
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/01/30/virginia-lawmaker-tries-to-attach-rectal-exam-provision-to-anti-abortion-bill/#.TydT4mH9T7k.twitter (http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/01/30/virginia-lawmaker-tries-to-attach-rectal-exam-provision-to-anti-abortion-bill/#.TydT4mH9T7k.twitter)

Virginia is making a law that will have women who want an abortion undergo an unnecessary ultrasound. A Virginia lawmaker responded by trying to attach an amendment to the bill that would force any man who wants a viagra prescription to get a rectal exam.

The amendment didn't pass, but I keep laughing at the idea of a bunch of old white dudes looking at the amendment thinking "OH NO! NOT OUR BUTTS!"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on January 31, 2012, 03:35 am
That is genius. At least it makes the sensible-sexist-religious-guys take a look at their views.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on January 31, 2012, 06:37 am
Don't get your hopes up. Not if they see it in the same terms as these people in the comments, who are missing the point so much that it keeps them awake a night, next to the phone, hoping for it to call:
Quote
Its these kind of childish antics that make the Democrats so unappealing to the American majority.  I guess its like Rush says, "Liberalism is a mental illness."
Quote
As a man in his late 50’s who does not use any “erectile dysfunction” pills or aids I am hugely offended! I am also a Democrat and a liberal and “normally” I support all Democrats, until now. Every year, since I happen to be covered with black skin and, again…I am in my late 50’s it is recommended that I have a prostate exam. I detest it…I detest it…I DETEST IT!. I think you get my point. So, with that in mind, any person who advocates that men, who want an erection get an additional rectal exam cannot get my support! This is completely personal and that’s my position. I am sticking (maybe I could choose a better word) to it! EWWWW!

Great stunt, though. I'd vote for that lady.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Rubbin Hood on January 31, 2012, 11:15 am
This is somewhat old news.

Gordon Ramsay's dwarf porn double Percy Foster dies in badger den (http://www.perthnow.com.au/entertainment/gordon-ramsays-dwarf-porn-double-percy-foster-dies-in-badger-den/story-e6frg30c-1226137039122)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: BSam on February 01, 2012, 12:26 am
I think I read somewhere that it wasn't true, but I don't care enough to find out where.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on February 06, 2012, 02:36 pm
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2012/02/congressman-falls-months-old-onion-story-about-planned-parenthood-abortionplex/48344/

An actual congressman was featured on Literally Unbelievable!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on February 16, 2012, 02:02 pm
If you're a high school athlete in the American Northwest, watch out for THE PIGGYBACK BANDIT (http://xfinity.comcast.net/articles/news-national/20120216/US.Piggyback.Bandit/?cid=hero_media).

Of course this comes hot on the heels of the arrest of Virginia's SERIAL BUTT CUTTER (http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/2012/01/fugitive-butt-cutter-streets-last/47432)

I expect a David Fincher-Zodiac style biopic about either of these men in the next few years


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 16, 2012, 09:16 pm
If you're a high school athlete in the American Northwest, watch out for THE PIGGYBACK BANDIT (http://xfinity.comcast.net/articles/news-national/20120216/US.Piggyback.Bandit/?cid=hero_media).

I think you could develop a pretty good internet guessing quiz around: "Performance Artist or Sexual Deviant?"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on February 17, 2012, 06:59 am
Hello, new title thing.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on February 17, 2012, 03:33 pm
Hitler's illegitimate son fights nazis in WW II http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/9088865/Hitler-had-son-with-French-teen.html


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Luna Fortuna on February 18, 2012, 02:01 pm
That is fantastic. I devoutly hope the royalties for Mein Kampf and any other financial gain go to an Allied veteran. It is extra-satisfying that he was illegitimate and ignored. Fuck you, Hitler, enjoy your legacy.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on February 18, 2012, 06:39 pm
Er, the profits for Mein Kampf already go to charities. As is generally the case with things like that. Historically we frown upon rewarding history's greatest monsters.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Luna Fortuna on February 18, 2012, 07:04 pm
Isn't it public domain by now? I wasn't under the impression royalties went to a Nazi Preservation Society or something, if that's what you thought. It would just be nice to read that some back-paid royalties wound up improving the lives of descendants who are the opposite of everything that made Hitler puff up his chest. His face would be so red!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on February 18, 2012, 07:09 pm
Public Domain differs from place to place and usually doesn't cover annotated versions or those printed in larger historical texts (for study.) So those royalties, and any back royalties, all go to charity.

Also it would be a bit crass to try to profit off being related to Hitler. And he already had closest relatives in existence who would have gotten anything a heir would, if we had actually managed his estate that way, which obviously we didn't because horrible monster.

Also Hitler wouldn't feel anything about anything as he is dead and therefore ceased to exist.

All these holes in your argument mean you got a D. Please try harder.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Not A Spatula on February 18, 2012, 07:52 pm
It would just be nice to read that some back-paid royalties wound up improving the lives of descendants who are the opposite of everything that made Hitler puff up his chest. His face would be so red!

All "Feeeeucht first a valk in the countryside and now zis!"

Also, swinging back a little hard today Gale.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on February 18, 2012, 08:01 pm
What do you mean, are you going to cry?

Also I would love for someone to start a nazi preservation society, and co-opt the obvious song as it's theme tune.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Luna Fortuna on February 18, 2012, 08:25 pm
Clearly I meant his face is red from eternal hellfire.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on February 18, 2012, 08:30 pm
HELL IS A CONSTRUCT FOR THOSE THAT FEAR NOTHINGNESS.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on February 18, 2012, 08:34 pm
I ain't afraid of nothin'.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Not A Spatula on February 18, 2012, 09:44 pm
I am. Of so many things.

What do you mean, are you going to cry?

I just meant you were dissecting an argument that it didn't really seem Luna was making but also yes I am.

Saturdays. :(


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on February 18, 2012, 11:30 pm
Did you consider that you just think that because you are dumb? And stop advocating we euthanise ugly children you sick fuck.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Yone on February 18, 2012, 11:56 pm
MORALITY IS A CONSTRUCT FOR THOSE THAT FEAR NOTHINGNESS.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Not A Spatula on February 19, 2012, 03:59 am
whoops!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on February 22, 2012, 11:46 am
After so many pretentious and misogynist tabloid articles on the death of chivalry/etiquette/manners, this (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-02-22/to-be-or-not-to-be-a-gentleman/3845380) one reasonable article on the subject came out of nowhere.

Quote
"I think a lot of the behaviour in the past was predicated on the notion that females are a fairer sex, weaker or less capable in some way... I think that is quite outdated and almost irrelevant in modern society.

"Nowadays you don't see gentlemen throwing their coats in puddles and rushing over to the other side of the horse and cart to help a woman down. In modern society it is really just about empathy."

It's also worth it for the inset picture of Hugh Jackman looking incredibly dopey.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on March 12, 2012, 08:58 am
Keep your laws off of my erection! (http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/03/11/442208/affidavit-confirming-impotence-viagra/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DoctorShenanigans on March 16, 2012, 03:31 pm
Invisible Children Co-Founder Arrested For Public Masturbation (http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/jason-russell-san-diego-invisible-children-kony-2012-142970255.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: JMD on March 16, 2012, 06:55 pm
Quote
Jason Russell was unfortunately hospitalized yesterday suffering from exhaustion, dehydration, and malnutrition

He must have been out there jerkin it for like 12 hours.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DoctorShenanigans on April 27, 2012, 03:40 pm
92-Year-Old Man Sends Thousands Of Bootlegged DVDs to American Troops Free Of Charge (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/27/nyregion/at-92-movie-bootlegger-is-soldiers-hero.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on April 27, 2012, 05:48 pm
Quote
“It’s not the right thing to do, but I did it,” Mr. Strachman said, acknowledging that his actions violated copyright law.

“If I were younger,” he added, “maybe I’d be spending time in the hoosegow.”

The hoosegow.

Ladies and Gentlemen: the Best Person.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on April 30, 2012, 09:19 pm
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/klu-klux-klan-protests-westboro-baptist-church-video/2011/05/31/AGgoiPFH_blog.html


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on May 02, 2012, 11:15 pm
A shark with a laser on its head is released into the oceans, for SCIENCE! (http://www.oceansandaquaculture.org/shark-with-laser-on-head-released-into-the-ocean/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Chronicles on May 10, 2012, 09:32 am
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/821591-evil-clown-hired-for-stalking-threats-and-a-pie-in-the-face (http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/821591-evil-clown-hired-for-stalking-threats-and-a-pie-in-the-face)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on May 30, 2012, 06:53 pm
Serpent-handling pastor dies from rattlesnake bite (http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/serpent-handling-pastor-profiled-earlier-in-washington-post-dies-from-rattlesnake-bite/2012/05/29/gJQAJef5zU_story.html)

Quote
Mark Randall “Mack” Wolford was known all over Appalachia as a daring man of conviction. He believed that the Bible mandates that Christians handle serpents to test their faith in God — and that, if they are bitten, they trust in God alone to heal them.

...

Wolford was 15 when he saw his father die at age 39 of a rattlesnake bite in almost exactly the same circumstances.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: GoMichael on May 30, 2012, 07:00 pm
Haha fuck that recently deceased guy.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: MadPiper6 on May 30, 2012, 10:03 pm
That's a little harsh.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on June 02, 2012, 08:23 am
Way to not live up to those stereotypes of West Virginia, chief.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Raconteur on June 09, 2012, 10:33 am
The sex lives of Penguins. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jun/09/sex-depravity-penguins-scott-antarctic)

Quote
Levick blamed this "astonishing depravity" on "hooligan males" and wrote down his observations in Greek so that only an educated gentleman would understand the horrors he had witnessed.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on June 09, 2012, 11:43 am
I've seen that stuff with mallards. When the number of males got a lot more than the number of females they started gang-raping and whatnot. That drove off the rest of the females, and after that it was basically the US prison system in a duck-pond.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on June 16, 2012, 02:30 am
Council reverses ban on schoolgirl's food blog (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-06-16/council-overturns-ban-on-schoolgirl27s-food-blog/4074432)

Do yourself a favour and check out the blog (http://neverseconds.blogspot.com), too. Each proper entry also has a contributor from another part of the world, which is really cool.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 09, 2012, 08:53 am
Mitt Romney has a Koch problem. (http://www.sfgate.com/politics/article/Mitt-Romney-raises-millions-in-the-Hamptons-3692219.php)

This refers of course to the Koch brothers who pronounce their name rhyming with "Coke."  The alternative pronunciation of "Cock" remains remarkably appropriate.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on July 09, 2012, 08:56 am
Huh. I always assumed it was "Kosh".


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 09, 2012, 09:22 am
I think it's one of those names with lots of pronunciations.  The Koch brothers in question do pronounce their name as "coke."  Beastie Boys listeners may identify that a former mayor of New York pronounced it Ed "Kotch."  I know at least one person from school who pronounced it "cock."  Kosh or Kuck or Kutch probably all also exist depending on who's saying it.

In actual German, I believe the correct pronunciation is the Ko followed by the noise you make when hocking a loogie. 


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on July 09, 2012, 11:04 am
That article didn't have all the hilarity of this one:

http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-pn-romney-hamptons-fundraiser-20120708,0,2162850,print.story
Quote
A New York City donor a few cars back, who also would not give her name, said Romney needed to do a better job connecting. "I don't think the common person is getting it," she said from the passenger seat of a Range Rover stamped with East Hampton beach permits. "Nobody understands why Obama is hurting them.

"We've got the message," she added. "But my college kid, the baby sitters, the nails ladies -- everybody who's got the right to vote -- they don't understand what's going on. I just think if you're lower income -- one, you're not as educated, two, they don't understand how it works, they don't understand how the systems work, they don't understand the impact."

Quote
The Zambrellis scoffed at attempts by the Democrats -- who mocked Romney in an ad Sunday as "great for oil billionaires, bad for the middle class" -- to wage class warfare.  "Would you like to hear about the fundraisers I went to for him?" Sharon Zambrelli said of Obama. "Do you have an hour? ... All the ones in the city -- it was all of Wall Street."

"It's not helping the economy to pit the people who are the engine of the economy against the people who rely on that engine," Michael Zambrelli said as the couple waited in their SUV for clearance into the Creeks shortly after the candidate's motorcade flew by and entered the pine-tree lined estate. "He's basically been biting the hand that fed him in '08. ... I would bet 25% of the people here were supporters of Obama in '08. And they're here now."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Luna Fortuna on July 09, 2012, 03:47 pm
I think it's one of those names with lots of pronunciations.

I knew a Sergeant Koch who pronounced it Cook, but he was fooling nobody.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: JMD on July 22, 2012, 05:25 am
http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20120721/NEWS02/707219953


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on July 29, 2012, 04:06 am
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-07-29/india-incredulous-over-mystery-olympian/4162248

EDIT: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-07-29/mystery-woman-revealed-as-cast-member/4162520


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on August 14, 2012, 08:32 pm
The High Court has rejected big tobacco's constitutional challenge to the Federal Government's plain packaging laws, clearing the way for the new-look packets to hit Australian shelves. (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-08-15/high-court-rules-on-plain-packaging-laws/4199768)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on August 17, 2012, 12:40 am
ZOOM. ENHANCE. (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-08-17/cat-collar-clue-helped-return-lost-camera-to-owner/4205176)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DoctorShenanigans on August 17, 2012, 02:46 am
Quote
Police were rewarded with some home-made rumballs.

Kill All C-awwwwww-ps


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on August 21, 2012, 07:34 pm
Surprise! Avril Lavigne to Marry Chad Kroeger of Nickelback (http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20623133,00.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on August 22, 2012, 02:57 pm
 Shoplifter caught after eating his haul of fiery Scotch bonnet chillies (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2191345/Red-handed-red-eyed-Shoplifter-eats-Scotch-bonnet-chillies-50-times-hotter-jalapenos.html)

Quote
when officers searched Banwell they found another four chilli peppers in his pocket, a stolen milk shake and fruit juice, and a clarinet stashed in his waist-band, which was missing from a music shop.



Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RummyLu on August 22, 2012, 03:20 pm
(http://i.imgur.com/ZaynF.gif)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-19349921


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Danny G on August 22, 2012, 03:26 pm
Awesome.

Quote
The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic, he says.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RummyLu on August 22, 2012, 03:44 pm
I keep opening the article each time I sit back down at my laptop because I can't stop giggling at it.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Chez San on August 22, 2012, 03:51 pm
(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii283/pwotsanchez/OneNationUnderGod.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RummyLu on August 22, 2012, 04:04 pm
YESSSSSSSSSSSS


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Chez San on August 22, 2012, 04:05 pm
(http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii283/pwotsanchez/Peace-Is-Coming.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on August 22, 2012, 05:31 pm
(http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a122/wibster/SermonMount.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on August 22, 2012, 08:48 pm
Paralympians may attempt to gain an unfair advantage by electrocuting their testicles (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-19325756)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on August 26, 2012, 08:38 pm
A man suffering from Ebola has his phone stolen, the thief gets Ebola. (http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/weird-wide-web/man-steals-phone-ebola-patient-uganda-hospital-gets-ebola)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on August 28, 2012, 08:44 am
Juggalos demolish tent thief's car (http://www.freep.com/article/20120811/ENT04/120811047/ICP-fans-exact-vigilante-justice-suspected-thief-his-car).

They need that shit at every festival. Stealing from tents is the worst. Especially shoes. I have spent a festival in plastic bag creps, and I can't bring myself to think this was an overreaction.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on August 29, 2012, 12:11 pm
Bigfoot hoax ends in death (http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-bigfoot-sasquatch-hoax-20120828,0,2854838.story)

Kinda fucked up to laugh at a dead dude but

Quote
"What we know so far is that we had a couple of guys out, allegedly trying to prompt a sighting of Bigfoot," Montana Highway Patrol Lt. Col. Butch Huseby told the Los Angeles Times. The officer added: "This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. Really."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on August 30, 2012, 06:58 pm
This was on The Daily Show today as well.   (http://news.yahoo.com/gop-tout-built-arena-built-public-funds-144137742.html) The RNC featured a crowd of thousands chanting We Built That all while standing in a civic area for which 60% of the construction funds were supplied by the government.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on September 04, 2012, 02:34 am
Someone stole 3.75 million litres of maple syrup. (http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/1249877--maple-syrup-heist-threatens-quebec-s-reserve-of-canada-s-sweetest-export)

Quote
The federation, which is responsible for the “global strategic maple syrup reserve,” fears the sticky-fingered burglars intend to sell the syrup on the black market.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Danny G on September 04, 2012, 05:51 pm
Paul Ryan Time Calculator Makes Every Runner Faster (http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/run-karla-run/2012/sep/4/paul-ryan-time-calculator-makes-every-runner-faste/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on September 05, 2012, 05:20 am
Thief swallows $14k diamond at gem show (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-09-05/thief-swallows-2414k-diamond-at-gem-show/4245088)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on September 05, 2012, 10:04 am
How does Tom Cruise date? (http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/church-scientology-told-actress-vetted-tom-cruises-partner/story?id=17158906#.UEdpUI1lTYg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on September 06, 2012, 06:33 pm
Peyton Manning's jersey banned by school in Colorado due to gang ties of the number 18 (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/09/06/manning-jerseys-banned-by-colorado-school-district-for-gang-ties/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on September 07, 2012, 05:52 pm
Not necessarily a news story, but  this (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nico-lang/trampires-why-the-slut-sh_b_1850940.html) is a really good opinion piece about Kristen Stewart and slut shaming.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: pingollum on September 07, 2012, 10:22 pm
Magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster (http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on September 10, 2012, 07:42 am
It's not much, but it did make me smile. (http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/09/08/obama-makes-birth-certificate-joke/) Obama has humour.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 12, 2012, 05:16 pm
Teachers Force Rahm Emanuel to Deny Liking Nickelback (http://www.newser.com/story/153942/teachers-force-rahm-to-deny-liking-nickelback.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on September 12, 2012, 05:20 pm
Hahaha, that's pretty funny. No one wants to be accused of liking Nickelback.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 14, 2012, 10:05 pm
Warner Bros. developing McG thriller about a spy who's also a DJ, or whatever the hell (http://www.avclub.com/articles/warner-bros-developing-mcg-thriller-about-a-spy-wh,84988/)

Quote
...Dead Spy seems to have taken that idea to the exxxtreme, with Deadline saying it's now about Danny Marchant, "a young DJ on the rise in the international world of electronic dance music" who's forced to flee with the pretty female secret agent who's been assigned to monitor him, after he is framed for the murder of his MI6 agent dad. This scenario, naturally, eventually leads to him near-singlehandedly defeating a worldwide terrorist threat, apparently by somehow using his DJ skills. Indeed, there is this from the synopsis: "As Danny tries to clear his name and avenge his father’s death, he gets deeper into the world of espionage while never forgetting his background and skills as a DJ."



Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on September 15, 2012, 02:23 am
And they say that originality is dead.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 21, 2012, 07:59 pm
Hundreds of enraged Libyan protesters storm...

...the headquarters of a radical Islamic militia (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-19680785)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on September 22, 2012, 03:45 am
Lynyrd Skynyrd denounces Confederate flag, angering some fans (http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/music/posts/la-et-ms-lynyrd-skynrd-denounces-confederate-flag-angering-some-fans-20120920,0,4023988.story)

They still give a weak-ass nonpology and the article is full of terrible people, but the whole thing is just dripping with schadenfreude.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on September 24, 2012, 08:45 am
In this mostly rather boring article, Mitt Romney, talking about his wife's plane's emergency landing a couple days ago, says possibly his dumbest thing yet (http://www.latimes.com/news/politics/la-pn-romney-beverly-hills-fundraiser-20120922,0,2317962.story):

Quote
"I appreciate the fact that she is on the ground, safe and sound. And I don’t think she knows just how worried some of us were,” Romney said. “When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on September 26, 2012, 03:57 am
Retired Generals Fear That Kids Are Too Fat for War (http://www.wired.com/dangerroom/2012/09/too-fat-for-war)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on September 30, 2012, 07:16 am
Romney has zingers prepared and memorized for the presidential debates (http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/09/mitt-romney-has-his-debate-zingers-all-ready.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: BSam on October 03, 2012, 09:42 pm
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/04/nyregion/a-few-passengers-use-wheelchairs-to-avoid-airport-lines.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on October 05, 2012, 05:41 pm
An article from 1985 about an upcoming Captain America Broadway musical (http://www.nytimes.com/1985/04/05/arts/broadway.html).

Quote
The book by Mel Mandel and Norman Sachs (who are also responsible for music and lyrics) has Captain A. going through a mid-life crisis. Fortunately, the action speeds up - his girlfriend, a candidate for President, is captured by terrorists and held hostage at the Lincoln Memorial.

It never materialized beyond that.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on October 11, 2012, 05:02 am
Florida governor gives phone sex number for meningitis hotline (http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/10/11/us-usa-health-meningitis-phonesex-idUSBRE89A01N20121011?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+reuters%2FoddlyEnoughNews+%28Reuters+Oddly+Enough%29)

Quote
In an embarrassing mistake, Florida Governor Rick Scott gave out a phone sex hotline number to Floridians seeking information on a deadly fungal meningitis outbreak.

The article is funny, but the accompanying picture really makes it:

(http://s1.reutersmedia.net/resources/r/?m=02&d=20121011&t=2&i=662130985&w=460&fh=&fw=&ll=&pl=&r=CBRE89A021W00)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on October 18, 2012, 08:19 am
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-10-18/alan-jones-ordered-to-do-journalism-training/4320534


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on October 25, 2012, 10:44 pm
Obama calls Romney a 'bullshitter' (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/oct/25/obama-romney-bullshitter-rolling-stone)

Unfortunately, not to his face.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on November 03, 2012, 07:51 am
Gas Rationing begins in New Jersey, note the political affiliation of the one doing it. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/nj-governor-orders-gas-rationing-counties-17632224#.UJURy8XA98E)  Don't misunderstand me, this is a necessary move given what New Jersey is facing.  I'm just laughing because can we start a pool on how long it will take til we see a "Barack Obama wants to ration your gas" ad anyway?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on November 05, 2012, 05:10 am
Over the years, the British have invaded all but 22 of the countries on Earth (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/history/9653497/British-have-invaded-nine-out-of-ten-countries-so-look-out-Luxembourg.html)

(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02388/BRITAIN_2388153b.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: FizzlePop on November 05, 2012, 11:55 am
Look at snooty Bolivia and Paraguay, thinking they are better than us.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on November 05, 2012, 11:35 pm
A US weather agency responds to demands from the public to nuke hurricanes in an effort to stop them (http://www.news.com.au/technology/us-weather-agency-noaa-responds-to-demands-to-nuke-hurricanes/story-e6frfro0-1226511235368).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on November 09, 2012, 11:42 am
Remember this guy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBy3MbP4WDo

He won, but almost 4,000 people wrote-in Charles Darwin against him. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/election-2012/wp/2012/11/09/charles-darwin-earns-nearly-4000-write-in-votes-against-ga-rep-broun/?wprss=rss_politics)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on November 11, 2012, 06:05 am
Five Companies That Are Definitely Thrilled Obama Was Re-Elected (http://www.wired.com/business/2012/11/obama-stocks/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on November 11, 2012, 08:38 am
Quote
Smith & Wesson Holding Corporation (SWHC) is up 12 percent since election night while Sturm, Ruger & Co. (RGR) is up 11 percent. Why? Well, one line of thinking is that gun nuts, uhhh Second Amendment fans, expect the president to try and tighten gun control measures, so they’re ready to pull the trigger on purchases. An alternate theory is that all the debate talk about firearms got people thinking about firearms, leading them to go out and buy firearms. “Recent ‘political’ sales have increased the profile of firearm use,” said a Benchmark analyst quoted by the Wall Street Journal. (See? The First and Second Amendments have more in common than you thought.)

Some of who noticed that the typical sociopolitical beliefs of the euphemistic second amendment fans and the race of the president have a slightly different theory as to why gun purchases might be expected it increase.  I mean how else are you supposed to protect your family from roving bands of uncontrollable minorities?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on November 14, 2012, 03:49 pm
http://www.theage.com.au/national/education/history-transformed-in-vce-exam-20121114-29ce7.html

Quote
THE VCE exam body has been left red faced after a doctored artwork depicting a huge robot helping socialist revolutionaries during the Russian Revolution was accidentally included in this year’s year 12 history exam taken by 5700 students.

Exams for the popular History: Revolution subject were originally supposed to include the artwork Storming the Winter palace on 25th October 1917 by Nikolai Kochergin, which depicts events during the October Revolution, which was instrumental in the larger Russian Revolution of 1917.

But when students opened their exam this morning they found an altered version of the work with what appeared to be a large "BattleTech Marauder" robot aiding the rising revolutionaries in the background.

(http://images.theage.com.au/2012/11/14/3795090/1_art-TRANSFORMER3-620x349.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on November 14, 2012, 10:17 pm
The usual shithouse standard of journalistic research from the Age there, I see.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on November 19, 2012, 04:11 am
72-year-old grandfather in China models women's clothes for his granddaughter's online store (http://shanghaiist.com/2012/11/16/72-year-old_grandfather_models_wome.php)

Quote
"Why unacceptable (for someone like me to wear women’s clothes? Modelling for the store is helping my granddaughter and I have nothing to lose. We were very happy on the day of the shooting. I’m very old and all that I care about is to be happy."

(http://shanghaiist.com/attachments/jamesgriffiths/grandfather-model.png)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Remington Lonespear on November 19, 2012, 10:43 am
That is actually pretty awesome and I would wear that first outfit.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on November 20, 2012, 03:43 am
Police are puzzled by the discovery of three garbage bags full of freshly-cut marijuana with a sign reading "Free dope. Mull up" dumped by a road on the New South Wales south coast. (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-11-20/free-dope/4381488)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on November 20, 2012, 09:32 am
Did they mull up though


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Illiterati on November 23, 2012, 09:30 am
Quote
They say the cannabis will be destroyed.

"We'll destroy the marijuana, and in the process get destroyed as well ;) I am saying we will smoke the weed"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: pingollum on November 23, 2012, 12:43 pm
(http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/infocus/nailhouse112212/s_n01_RTR3AQ12.jpg)

Story (http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2012/11/the-house-in-the-middle-of-the-street/100411/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on November 25, 2012, 02:57 pm
The solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is for everyone involved to party hard. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/24/andrew-wk-us-department-of-state-cultural-ambassador-middle-east_n_2184836.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: pingollum on November 28, 2012, 11:13 am
Sexiest man alive (http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2012/11/27/kim_jong_un_onion_china_people_s_daily_chinese_communist_party_papers_falls.html?wpisrc=most_viral)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on November 30, 2012, 05:06 pm
North Korea discovers ancient lair of the unicorn (http://www.kcna.co.jp/item/2012/201211/news29/20121129-20ee.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on December 02, 2012, 04:16 am
MAN BITES DOG! (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-12-02/police-charge-man-accused-of-biting-police-dog/4403500)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on December 03, 2012, 03:35 am
http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2010/04/15/online-shoppers-unknowingly-sold-souls/


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on December 05, 2012, 09:59 pm
Charity in New Zealand is teaching dogs to drive (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-20614593). With video.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on December 06, 2012, 05:13 am
Something goes horribly, horribly right at PETA protest. (http://beforeitsnews.com/opinion-conservative/2012/12/peta-crashes-biker-gathering-not-to-be-missed-2534390.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on December 06, 2012, 05:59 am
http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/leatherprotest.asp


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Doktor Puppykicker on December 07, 2012, 06:32 pm
Police drone crashes into police. (http://www.salon.com/2012/12/07/police_drone_crashes_into_police/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Coog on December 08, 2012, 12:30 am
While reading the article, I realized this happened in my hometown! Awesome!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ishliquor on December 12, 2012, 07:14 pm
I don't particularly care about fooball, and as far as I understand, Serie A in Italy is just shot through with the kind of problems with fans that have always been a big turn-off for me with regards to the sport, but nonetheless I love this story.

Lone Udinese football fan wins hearts in Italy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-20700529)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on December 18, 2012, 06:44 am
Putting this here because it is about the news:

http://www.poynter.org/latest-news/regret-the-error/197279/the-best-and-worst-media-errors-and-corrections-of-2012/


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Danny G on December 18, 2012, 04:52 pm
Reason Bill Murray Accepted Garfield Movie (http://www.vulture.com/2010/07/bill_murray_only_did_garfield.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on December 19, 2012, 08:11 am
This is the only one of these I've seen so far that's succeeded in reaching its required number of signatures. (https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/legally-recognize-westboro-baptist-church-hate-group/DYf3pH2d)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on December 19, 2012, 08:53 am
Are you talking about petitions in general? Because, from memory, I believe there have been a few successful petitions on secession, at least one on gun control, and one asking Obama to build a Death Star.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on January 03, 2013, 12:28 am
Here's a giant rubber duck floating around Sydney Harbour (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-01-03/giant-duck-paddles-down-sydney-harbour/4451028).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on January 03, 2013, 08:41 pm
Not exactly news but one television stations coverage of new years 2013 is simply amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3FIefVTikw


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: boron on January 03, 2013, 09:32 pm
That is the greatest thing.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 04, 2013, 03:45 pm
Rex Ryan has a tattoo of a woman doing that Tim Tebow pose while wearing nothing but a Mark Sanchez jersey. (http://espn.go.com/new-york/nfl/story/_/id/8812176/rex-ryan-tattoo-features-woman-mark-sanchez-new-york-jets-jersey)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on January 05, 2013, 11:57 am
Chinese knock-offs now extend to unfinished construction projects. (http://www.wired.com/design/2013/01/chinese-building-pirates-zaha-hadid)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 07, 2013, 11:24 am
Dad tires of his son's MMORPG gaming, hires another player as a hitman to ruin his son's time in the game. (http://kotaku.com/5972406/father-hires-in+game-hitmen-to-deter-son-from-playing?tag=china)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on January 09, 2013, 01:30 am
Things can get boring for a polling firm outside of election seasons:
Quote
Facing low approval ratings after a historically unproductive 112th session and a series of last-minute showdowns over fiscal matters, Congress is now less popular than root canals, NFL replacement referees, head lice, the rock band Nickelback, colonoscopies, carnies, traffic jams, cockroaches, Donald Trump, France, Genghis Khan, used-car salesmen and Brussel sprouts.
http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_Release_Natl_010813_.pdf (http://www.publicpolicypolling.com/pdf/2011/PPP_Release_Natl_010813_.pdf)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Not A Spatula on January 10, 2013, 09:42 pm
Something goes horribly, horribly right at PETA protest. (http://beforeitsnews.com/opinion-conservative/2012/12/peta-crashes-biker-gathering-not-to-be-missed-2534390.html)

This fake story is some spiteful shit.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on January 10, 2013, 11:25 pm
Student brings a gun to school and starts shooting, teacher convinces him to put down the weapon and give himself up (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20975608)

Quote
The drama started after 09:00 local time (17:00 GMT) when the gunman, also a student, arrived late, armed with a shotgun, at the school in the small town in California's central valley.

Students and staff telephoned police, but before officers could arrive, the suspect had shot at two people in a class in the science block. One shot missed its target.

The teacher, who had been grazed by a pellet, then intervened.

He and another school official who entered the classroom are reported by US media to have warned the suspect that there would be no shooting in his class - at which point the gunman put down his weapon and police officers arrested him.

What was that you were saying about teachers needing guns, NRA?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: thermus aquaticus on January 11, 2013, 08:34 am
There are lots of sound arguments against arming teachers, but that isn't one. Your logic is bad, their logic is bad, and that's why I hate this debate. I know you're just poking fun, but that's all anyone seems to do on this topic.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on January 11, 2013, 11:25 am
Spermus angry people aren't taking dumb suggestion seriously enough on internet comedy board, news at ten.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: thermus aquaticus on January 11, 2013, 10:09 pm
I  just wanted to criticize oball's lame commentary without being too negative. That's no excuse for a lame post, I guess. Why's it got to be so hard, gale? Why's it got to be so hard to be nice to people?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on January 12, 2013, 07:02 am
Spermus is creeping me out, news at ten.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: VoodooTissue on January 12, 2013, 06:36 pm
If oball's post was armed we wouldn't be having this problem


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: BSam on January 23, 2013, 01:21 am
http://www.theage.com.au/data-point/blogs/the-crunch--data-point/one-in-four-satanists-does-no-housework-20130123-2d66o.html


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: MadPiper6 on January 24, 2013, 01:46 pm
http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/01/23/1488111/high-school-student-comes-out-and-receives-standing-ovation-from-classmates/
Teen comes out as gay to 300 classmates, is applauded


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on January 25, 2013, 12:50 pm
Interviews like this are a rarity in Australian commercial media.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omsq5M87VMk


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on January 29, 2013, 09:02 am
Not really news but this Esquire interview with Megan Fox (http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/this-interview-with-megan-fox-is-the-worst-thing-ever-written-esquire)* that's been doing the rounds makes me really happy, largely because of the line "What distracts me from my reality is Bigfoot".




* apologies for Vice Mag but the actual Esquire thing isn't online and they had the most quotes


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: JonasSalk on January 29, 2013, 09:33 am
It is now online. (http://www.esquire.com/features/megan-fox-photos-interview-0213) Hahahaha. Man, this is haha.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 29, 2013, 11:45 am
I really love that it's an article about the tribulations of sexualizing all these women in Hollywood, accompanied by several hypersexualized images of her.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Remington Lonespear on January 29, 2013, 12:15 pm
Yeah, and I thought it was hilarious the way that like 1/3 of the article was the author talking about how beautiful and flawless Fox is. And while trying to overcome her status as a sex symbol and be respected as an actor is great, but I don't see how playing a character so beautiful that other characters can't believe she exists is going to help with that. Being able to actually act might be a good start, she should try that.

But that bigfoot line really is the star of the piece. I mean holy shit. I want that printed on a t-shirt.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 30, 2013, 04:17 pm
For the purposes of this discussion, XKCD counts as a news story about the douchestravaganza taking place on the wikipedia talk page for Star Trek Into Darkness.

The Comic (http://xkcd.com/1167/)

I looked it up and sure enough the discussion is there.  Not only that, they've added about 20k words as to whether or not the mention of the talk page in popular culture warrants mention in the article itself.

Never change, Wikipedia.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Hugtopus on January 30, 2013, 06:29 pm
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/For-40-Years-This-Russian-Family-Was-Cut-Off-From-Human-Contact-Unaware-of-World-War-II-188843001.html

Russian Family completely cut off from any human contact for 40 years discovered by a team looking for iron in Siberia.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on January 31, 2013, 04:55 am
Quote
Certainly Murdoch uses his feed strategically. During the US election campaign he kept up a stream of disdainful tweets about Barack Obama in a forlorn bid to help Mitt Romney to the presidency. "Romney looking better and better while Obama seems devoid of anything new," he said on 26 October. "May try October surprise, bomb someplace! Remember Clinton?"

Even after the president's re-election in November, he couldn't resist a sniff. "Obama looking confident, presidential, even if not totally frank about number of issues. He won, and sure knows it!"

He is repeatedly sceptical on the merits of green energy, but has been an outspoken proponent of gun reform, even tweeting this week: "Let's have petitiion to keep Piers Morgan in US. We need him, as does CNN." "Maybe a Fox/NYPost campaign?" replied Morgan. ("MAKE OUT. MMMAAAAAKEEE OOOUTTT]" was the response of user @piss_wizard).
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/jan/30/rupert-murdoch-twitter-glimpse-character


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on February 02, 2013, 05:35 am
This media release (http://www.police.nsw.gov.au/news/latest_releases?sq_content_src=%2BdXJsPWh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGd3d3LmViaXoucG9saWNlLm5zdy5nb3YuYXUlMkZtZWRpYSUyRjI4Mjk1Lmh0bWwmYWxsPTE%3D).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on February 02, 2013, 06:29 am
Mexican Drug Lord Officially Thanks American Lawmakers For Keeping Drugs Illegal  (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-henry-sterry/mexican-drug-lord-officia_b_179596.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: thermus aquaticus on February 02, 2013, 12:13 pm
That's not a news story, or good satire. Maybe it's a good consciousness raiser?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on February 04, 2013, 07:22 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y7i1ASCS5o

EDIT: NSFW for lots of swears

EDIT 2: Working link since they took the old one down


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on February 04, 2013, 08:33 am
My kingdom for an open parking space. (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/05/world/europe/richard-the-third-bones.html?hp&_r=0)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 04, 2013, 10:58 am
SuperBowl lighting blackout?  Blame Obama for going green! (http://www.newsmax.com/TheWire/superdome-blackout-green-super-bowl/2013/02/04/id/488723)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 06, 2013, 02:59 pm
Greatest interview ever (http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/trending/189682131.html) (NSFW)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 06, 2013, 02:59 pm
Oh yeah, can somebody edit that it's NSFW


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on February 06, 2013, 03:04 pm
spoiler alert: It's the same hitchhiker interview as last page


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 06, 2013, 03:06 pm
Oh shit, I missed that since it was the last post on the page.  My bad.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on February 09, 2013, 06:53 am
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/00be94314f5b5bcdf4c4591f8774e7b3/tumblr_mhxas95FHj1qaqasro1_1280.png)

Dear Fox News,

that is a same-sex couple.

Yours,
Noru


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 09, 2013, 03:07 pm
Don't know where else this should go.  Those famous Venus statuettes that people don't really know what are but assume are related to prehistoric images of beauty or fertility?  Yeah they're actually ancient human code for comet impacts. (http://noahsage.com/2012/09/05/skewed-beauty-or-skewed-radio-carbon-dating/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on February 09, 2013, 04:27 pm
Yeah, it doesn't have enough science to belong here (http://dragonmtn.com/index.php?topic=1450.0).

I mean, he does realize that you would have had to have seen this from space to get a perspective as depicted? And more importantly, that asteroids of that magnitude would have utterly obliterated the planet? What kind of website is that anyway? It's just full of really weird stuff.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 10, 2013, 07:39 am
I don't know.  Its like a more coherent but equally crazy time cube.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on February 11, 2013, 02:20 pm
Pub landlord trained in martial arts fought off four attackers without dropping his fish and chips (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21410565).



Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Benny B on February 11, 2013, 02:41 pm
Pretty sure that story was submitted by Guy Ritchie.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: pingollum on February 19, 2013, 06:43 pm
Scott Brown explains strange bqhatevwr tweets (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2013/02/19/scott-brown-explains-strange-bqhatevwr-tweets/?Post+generic=%3Ftid%3Dsm_twitter_washingtonpost)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on February 23, 2013, 03:08 pm
That sounds like a load of old semdzznhjg to me


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on March 04, 2013, 07:27 am
'Batman' brings wanted man to justice. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-21654930)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Nicol on March 05, 2013, 05:43 am
That last one, but in video form (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-03-05/british-batman-unmasked-after-delivering-wanted-man/4553960)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Nicol on March 05, 2013, 05:54 am
Possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard a politician say. I saw this document linked in chat, but wasn't sure if anyone has put it up here yet. (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/03/05/bicyclists_as_polluters/)

Quote
You claim that it is environmentally friendly to ride a bike. But if I am not mistaken, a cyclists [sic] has an increased heart rate and respiration. That means that the act of riding a bike results in greater emissions of carbon dioxide from the rider. Since CO2 is deemed to be a greenhouse gas and a pollutant, bicyclists are actually polluting when they ride.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on March 12, 2013, 01:26 am
Catholic Church revealed to part-own building housing Europe's largest gay sauna (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/as-cardinals-gather-to-elect-pope-catholic-officials-break-into-a-sweat-over-news-that-priests-share-23m-building-with-huge-gay-sauna-8529670.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on March 21, 2013, 10:38 am
‘Human Billboard’ Who Tattooed Porn Site Names on His Face Says He May Have Made a Big Mistake (http://gawker.com/5991564/human-billboard-who-tattooed-porn-site-names-on-his-face-says-he-may-have-made-a-big-mistake)

I love this because this headline is basically something directly out of comedy.  The story is not really funny if his behavior is actually the product of mental illness, but still, the headline.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on March 26, 2013, 12:08 pm
This is an hour from my house. Why am I unsurprised that it's affiliated with Philadelphia though. (http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/mlb-big-league-stew/philadelphia-phillies-triple-team-adds-urine-powered-video-161319845--mlb.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on March 28, 2013, 07:07 pm
Web Porn Searches Mock Anti-Gay Laws in Muslim World and Africa (http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/451425/20130328/sex-porn-search.htm)

Quote
In Kenya, homosexuality is a crime and an overwhelming 96 percent of Kenyans think it is unacceptable. Yet the second most popular search in the country was "gay monster cock".


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on March 30, 2013, 04:34 am
Boston police pretending to be punk rockers on social media to locate illegal concerts (http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/crime/2013/03/boston_police_catfishing_indie_rockers_cops_pose_as_punks_on_the_internet.single.html)

Quote
“Hey there, local P native here,” wrote one probable imposter to a local band.  “What is the Address for the local music show tonight?"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on March 30, 2013, 06:09 am
HELLO FELLOW HUMAN ROCKERS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US ROCKERS TO HANG OUT IS The Colossal Pillar of Wasp Eggs LETS GO DO NOT BRING WEAPONS


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on April 11, 2013, 02:30 am
Following news of Margaret Thatcher's death, Ding Dong the Witch is Dead is in the singles charts again (http://www.officialcharts.com/chart-news/ding-dong-the-witch-is-dead-enters-official-chart-update-top-10-2153/#.UWZanvYH5gg.twitter)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on April 11, 2013, 08:45 pm
French president's camel eaten (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-04-11/mali-family-dines-on-camel-gifted-to-hollande/4621900)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Liz on April 14, 2013, 01:09 am
A group of people play tag for 24 years. (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323293704578334193281566134.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on May 02, 2013, 05:30 pm
PepsiCo hire Tyler, The Creator to make commercials for them, end up with a bizarre series of ads that are immediately accused of being racist and misogynistic (http://musicfeeds.com.au/news/tyler-the-creators-most-racist-commercial-in-history-dropped-by-mountain-dew/)

Quote
Before the commercial was released, Tyler told hip hop journalist Elliot Wilson that, despite knowing his idea was immature and essentially winging his pitch, Mountain Dew had no problem with the idea when he presented it to them:

“I’m gonna tell them some stupid idea I come up with five minutes before the meeting and they’re gonna think it’s fuckin’ retarded. I’m so used to people saying, ‘That’s fucking retarded. And I’m looking at Clancy like, ‘Yo are they serious’ and they actually LIKED it!”


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on May 12, 2013, 01:51 am
Delray woman saves the life of 84-year-old more than 1,000 miles away (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/palm-beach/fl-delray-emergency-call-20130510,0,2161621.story)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on May 13, 2013, 08:28 am
I don't know where else this should go:

Woman says that GTA IV made her a strong, independent black woman. (http://kotaku.com/grand-theft-auto-taught-me-to-drive-503781868)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on May 15, 2013, 01:05 pm
Star Wars and Doctor Who fans clash at Norwich convention (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-22542222)

Quote
"It's a bit sad and pathetic."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on May 16, 2013, 10:24 pm
For Sale: A Video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford Smoking Crack Cocaine (http://gawker.com/for-sale-a-video-of-toronto-mayor-rob-ford-smoking-cra-507736569)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Lukeington on May 17, 2013, 09:39 am
Rob Ford keeps getting more and more ridiculous. I can't understand how this dude is still around, even if it turns out this alleged story isn't true. This is like scandal number 9.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: codespyder on May 17, 2013, 10:11 am
His sheer entertainment value is priceless though, because the stories about him just get more and more absurd with each passing day in office.

If only he didn't have to run the fourth most-populated city in North America...


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on May 21, 2013, 03:50 pm
Guy's car runs out of gas on I-695, so he sets up his drum kit to practice (http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-county/randallstown/bs-md-co-drums-stop-20130521,0,4361855.story)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on May 21, 2013, 07:13 pm
Far-right French author kills himself as protest against gay marriage (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-05-22/anti-gay-marriage-activist-kills-himself-on-notre-dame-altar/4704872)

I heartily encourage all others who are against gay marriage to follow his example.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on May 24, 2013, 02:02 am
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y60/oball/cameron.png)

I had to laugh at the irony of the right wing of the Conservative party thinking someone is "out of touch".


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on May 24, 2013, 03:52 am
Far-right French author kills himself as protest against gay marriage (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-05-22/anti-gay-marriage-activist-kills-himself-on-notre-dame-altar/4704872)
Quote
Venner's publisher, Pierre-Guillaume de Roux, said Venner's next book due in June was entitled A Western Samurai.

He said the writer's death had "an extremely strong symbolic power that approximates [Yukio] Mishima," the radical Japanese author who committed ritual suicide in 1970.
Eeeehn, Mishima may not be your best reference in this case, considering that guy was thoroughly gay.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: alugastiR on May 27, 2013, 04:41 pm
http://news.uk.msn.com/trending-blog/our-beards-are-not-for-sale-rage-campaigners-045221/


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on May 27, 2013, 08:54 pm
Skateboard repels cougar attack (http://edition.cnn.com/2013/05/27/world/americas/canada-skateboarder-cougar-attack/index.html?hpt=hp_t3)

Quote
A skateboard may have saved a man from being the lunch of a hungry cougar in a Canadian resort town last week.

The big cat jumped the man from behind while he was walking with a skateboard along a dirt path through woods in Banff, Alberta, on Thursday, according to Bill Hunt, a Parks Canada field unit manager.

"He hit the animal with the skateboard and stunned him," Hunt said.

The man, who is in his mid-20s, was listening to music through earbuds. His jacket hood was pulled over his head, Hunt said, possibly making him look inviting to a cat that is stimulated by motion.

It was unclear why the man, who asked to remain anonymous, was carrying a skateboard on a wooded path while it was sleeting, Hunt said.

Cougar attacks on people are rare because the cats are "very wary of people," Hunt said. The use of a skateboard to defend against a cougar is even more rare, he said.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on May 29, 2013, 10:18 am
JCPenny forced to deny a tea kettle looks like Hitler (http://au.businessinsider.com/jcpenney-forced-to-deny-tea-kettle-looks-like-hitler-2013-5).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on May 29, 2013, 06:36 pm
Patrick Stewart ate his first slice of pizza ever (http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/patrick-stewart-72-tries-new-559890)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on June 06, 2013, 01:08 pm
Man jailed for sprinkling pubic hair on curry to avoid paying (http://metro.co.uk/2013/06/05/man-jailed-for-sprinkling-pubic-hair-on-curry-to-avoid-paying-3829683/).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: codespyder on June 08, 2013, 03:21 pm
John Malkovich walks down a street, saves a dude. (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2013/06/08/toronto-malkovich-emergency.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Matt on June 13, 2013, 05:27 pm
Some kids poo-bomb a police box. (http://www.japantoday.com/smartphone/view/crime/two-japanese-youths-arrested-for-placing-exploding-bag-of-dog-poop-in-police-box)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on June 13, 2013, 10:58 pm
www.theage.com.au/opinion/political-news/unlikely-feminist-hero-army-chiefs-video-message-draws-plaudits-20130614-2o86b.html


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RummyLu on June 14, 2013, 03:15 am
I saw this just after I'd woken up and it has completely made my day.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on June 20, 2013, 05:51 pm
http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/20/us/exodus-international-shutdown/index.html


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: codespyder on June 22, 2013, 11:15 am
Toronto-area home bombed by poop from airplanes flying overhead. (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/story/2013/06/21/toronto-sky-poo.html)

Quote
"I stuck my finger in it and I smelt it and ... it smells like poo!"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: boron on June 22, 2013, 08:25 pm
man, if i had a nickel


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Matt on June 23, 2013, 12:20 am
McDonald's all close down in Bolivia. (http://www.undergroundhealth.com/mcdonalds-closing-all-restaurants-in-bolivia-as-nation-rejects-fast-food/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on June 23, 2013, 12:45 am
There's a good story in there, but holy shit did that site miss it or what.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on June 24, 2013, 08:54 am
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/manchester-museum-bosses-puzzled-by-ancient-egyptian-statue-which-mysteriously-turns-itself-8670060.html


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on June 28, 2013, 06:57 pm
http://news.antiwar.com/2013/06/27/ecuador-cancels-us-trade-pact-over-repeated-threats/


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on June 29, 2013, 03:35 pm
Facebook has to revise their ad policy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-23097411)

I hadn't ever thought of this before, but it would be perfectly possible to post nothing but the most hateful shit imaginable, and capture screenshots of advertisements that have technically paid to be posted alongside those awful comments.  Could be a good way to spite Facebook.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on July 16, 2013, 02:43 pm
British public wrong about nearly everything, survey shows (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/british-public-wrong-about-nearly-everything-survey-shows-8697821.html).

My guess is that, on subjects like crime, benefit fraud and immigration, the Daily Mail has managed to skew the perception of people who don't even read the Daily Mail and its ilk.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on July 18, 2013, 07:57 am
A fireworks store next to my parents' house exploded and my dad was interviewed by the news station. (http://www.wndu.com/home/headlines/Fireworks-store-on-fire-in-Rochester-215929781.html?device=phone#.UefaW4P5jFc.facebook)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 18, 2013, 09:12 am
Thanks a lot, Obama. Do you see what your damn Obamacare got us:

New York individual health insurance rates to fall 50% (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/17/health/health-plan-cost-for-new-yorkers-set-to-fall-50.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0)

Can't wait for Fox's take.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Danny G on July 18, 2013, 01:30 pm
I think I'll post that to my fb wall just to see the insane responses it gets.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on July 18, 2013, 10:48 pm
Serial Pooping Jogger Caught On Camera (http://www.wbaltv.com/news/entertainment/woman-runner-poops-in-yard/-/9379082/21029974/-/oykxtm/-/index.html?utm_source=hootsuite&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=wbal-tv%2B11)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Matt on July 22, 2013, 07:28 am
McDonalds drive-through refuses to serve a woman on a horse so she brings it inside. Horse poops on the floor. (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/woman-fined-for-taking-her-horse-into-mcdonalds--after-they-wouldnt-serve-her-at-the-drive-through-8726090.html?fb_action_ids=10151767113192039&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map={%2210151767113192039%22%3A134094530133451}&action_type_map={%2210151767113192039%22%3A%22og.recommends%22}&action_ref_map=[)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Matt on July 22, 2013, 07:29 am
Maybe we should have a seperate thread for "Poop Stories That You Love".


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on July 31, 2013, 04:55 pm
Drunk D.C. intern professes love for Paul Ryan, loses his shoe, eats a burrito (http://gawker.com/drunkest-d-c-intern-ever-loses-shoe-while-stalking-pau-977683564)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Danny G on August 06, 2013, 01:04 pm
banger... gang banger (http://gawker.com/gang-bang-organizer-puts-occupation-on-business-cards-1042364279)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on August 06, 2013, 04:56 pm
Way to go cops, ruining someone's birthday party


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on August 06, 2013, 07:34 pm
city in Spain mails dog poop to people who don't clean up after their dogs. (http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/07/world/europe/a-special-delivery-of-sorts-to-warn-dog-owners-in-spain.html?_r=0)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on August 08, 2013, 02:53 pm
Shark found on New York subway (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23610105).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on August 08, 2013, 03:06 pm
It's viral marketing for Shark Week.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joey on August 12, 2013, 11:49 pm
Fed up with homosexuality, religious family takes ‘leap of faith’ and gets lost at sea (http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/08/11/fed-up-with-homosexuality-religious-family-takes-leap-of-faith-and-gets-lost-at-sea/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on August 13, 2013, 09:06 pm
Instructor shoots student in gun-safety class (http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/public/2013/08/12/concealed-carry-accidental-shooting.html)

Quote
[the instructor] apparently didn’t know that the gun was loaded, [the student] said — “That’s my guess.”

What is Rule #1 of gun safety, again?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Remington Lonespear on August 14, 2013, 12:22 am
1. Don't own a gun


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on August 17, 2013, 08:50 am
Former Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels tries to ban Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States from Indiana schools, accidentally makes more people want to read it. (http://www.commondreams.org/headline/2013/08/14-4)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: nameinuse2 on August 19, 2013, 06:33 am
From the other news thread...

Judge is a piece of shit, sends kids with minor offences to jail to make money.  (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/11/mark-ciavarella-jr_n_924324.html)

Quote
Ciavarella ... filled the beds of the private lockups with children as young as 10, many of them first-time offenders convicted of petty theft and other minor crimes.

... that piece of shit actually got his (http://boingboing.net/2013/08/06/judge-who-accepted-private-pri.html).  28 years, a million dollar fine, and stripped of his state pension.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on August 19, 2013, 12:11 pm
You do realize the original article says that too, right?  It's a depressing story because no amount of punishing the judge is going to give those kids their time back.  They have to go around the rest of their lives explaining they missed X number of years in grade school because they were wrongly convicted and sent to juvenile detention.  And I'll bet you at least half the people they tell that to won't believe them.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: nameinuse2 on August 19, 2013, 05:06 pm
Actually I didn't realise the original article said that... I saw huffintonpost and that guy with the taking money for sending kids to private prisons and wasn't there something about that on boingboing.  I assumed the original article was a court-case-is-proceeding one.  What is it with this story popping up after two years anyway?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on August 30, 2013, 01:10 am
Armed Israeli soldiers enter Palestinian nightclub in Hebron... and dance to Gangnam Style with the partygoers inside (http://edition.cnn.com/2013/08/29/world/meast/mideast-hebron-idf-soldiers-dance/index.html)

(Of course though, their superiors have disciplined them, probably because actually acting like Palestinians are fellow humans goes against the IDF code of conduct)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 02, 2013, 05:51 pm
This review of a NIN set at a festival is a masterpiece of music journalism (http://blink.htcsense.com/web/articleweb.aspx?regionid=45&articleid=12583156)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on September 03, 2013, 07:29 pm
Londoners discover that reflective skyscrapers with a south-facing curved surface are a silly idea (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xc2i0g_88uY).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on September 03, 2013, 09:26 pm
I need to show that video in my solar power class.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on September 09, 2013, 10:36 pm
New York Republican mayoral candidate Joe Lhota would continue Bloomberg's awful stop-and-frisk program and supports the racist policy of spying on Muslim businesses, but that's not the highlight of last night's debate.  Nope, the highlight was some stupid bullshit about kittens. (http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/09/joe-lhota-says-he-is-not-anti-kitten-candidate.html)

Quote
But, perhaps most importantly, Lhota was forced to answer for a controversial statement he made to New York before Labor Day, when he said he would not have stopped train service to rescue beloved vagrant kittens August and Arthur. "I'm not the anti-kitten candidate," Lhota insisted.

It's not depressing enough for the depressing links thread, but maybe we need a "laughably awful journalism" thread or a "stupid bullshit" thread or something.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on September 10, 2013, 09:10 pm
http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/austrian-dominatrix-hired-fetishists-for-slave-labor-a-921398.html
Quote
Several sadomasochists eagerly responded to an advert posted by an Austrian woman farmer seeking clients. But they didn't get the punishment they had hoped for. Instead, they found themselves doing farm labor in fetish gear, while paying for the privilege.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on September 11, 2013, 01:29 pm
Feral Australian Hog Gets Rowdy (http://metro.co.uk/2013/09/09/feral-pig-drinks-18-cans-of-beer-fights-cow-and-then-passes-out-drunk-under-tree-3955542/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 12, 2013, 06:05 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEVr-cvfmvc


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on September 12, 2013, 10:26 am
http://www.spiegel.de/international/zeitgeist/austrian-dominatrix-hired-fetishists-for-slave-labor-a-921398.html
Quote
Several sadomasochists eagerly responded to an advert posted by an Austrian woman farmer seeking clients. But they didn't get the punishment they had hoped for. Instead, they found themselves doing farm labor in fetish gear, while paying for the privilege.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDxSUUYIXJI


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 17, 2013, 09:05 pm
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y60/oball/watts.png~original) (http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2013/sep/18/anthony-watts-denies-penis-bite)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on September 18, 2013, 08:53 pm
I don't at all love what this guy did, but I do love the headline.

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/anti-semitic-times-square-elmo-admits-girl-scout-extortion-attempt-article-1.1460050


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on September 23, 2013, 04:44 pm
http://www.pe.com/local-news/riverside-county/temecula/temecula-headlines-index/20130920-temecula-reagan-statue-damaged-in-apparent-arson-fire.ece

Best Reagan news since that dude hopped the barrier to dance on his grave.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: BSam on September 24, 2013, 05:31 pm
not exactly news, but slightly political

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2013/09/23/trick-or-treat-gets-political


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 24, 2013, 06:40 pm
Bono chased by angry anarchists in Germany (http://entertainment.ca.msn.com/celebs/bono-chased-by-angry-anarchists-in-germany-1)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: nameinuse2 on September 27, 2013, 06:55 pm
Hotel that inspired The Shining plans to dig up pet cemetery (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/09/26/hotel-linked-to-stephen-king-to-dig-up-pet-cemetery/2880879/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on October 02, 2013, 01:17 pm
ABC news believes in Bigfoot. (http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/bigfoot-evidence-screened-expert-claims-proof-existence-170135552--abc-news-tech.html)

Quote
at least one scientist claims there is proof.

At LEAST ONE


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on October 03, 2013, 05:59 pm
I found a link to this on Kotaku today and I wasn't really sure where to put it.  Our old friend UTMK is making news for being a douche (http://jezebel.com/screenwriter-bro-just-might-be-hollywoods-biggest-fuck-1440597536).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on October 03, 2013, 07:00 pm
I always knew he had it in him


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Kybard on October 03, 2013, 10:14 pm
he and his fucking hair are the worst. that interview is a spectacular train wreck


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: evilspud on October 15, 2013, 12:46 pm
Tim is a happy dude, with Down Syndrome, who owns his own restaurant. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=y6He0FWoFj0)

Just watch him dance on his way to work.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RummyLu on October 21, 2013, 06:47 am
Local Prague artist David Cerny has a ten meter tall opinion on the upcoming election he would like to share with you.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-24607870


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on October 23, 2013, 01:31 am
www.musicfeeds.com.au/news/engineer-turns-hardcore-band-into-edm-nightmare-after-they-fail-to-pay/


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on October 23, 2013, 08:30 am
Two gay Native American men get married in Oklahoma under Tribal law, circumventing Oklahoma's official homophobia laws. (http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2013/10/22/native-american-tribeschallengeoklahomagaymarriageban.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on October 30, 2013, 09:24 pm
The Vatican salutes Lou Reed by tweeting lyrics about heroin. (http://nypost.com/2013/10/30/vatican-salutes-lou-reed-by-tweeting-drug-lyrics/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on November 08, 2013, 03:26 pm
New Mexico man sues over repeated anal probes by police (http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/11/07/usa-newmexico-lawsuit-idUSL2N0IR2HG20131107).

Quote
Eckert was taken to Gila Regional Medical Center in nearby Silver City, the lawsuit says, where he was forced to undergo eight searches - including digital penetration of his anus, three enemas, two X-rays and a colonoscopy.

The centre then sent him the bill.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: norumaru on November 14, 2013, 03:49 am
“Why are these birds angry? Does it not have a negative effect on children? (http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/why-are-birds-angry-pm-erdogan-asks-ceo.aspx?pageID=238&nID=57496&NewsCatID=338)” Erdoğan was quoted as asking by daily Hürriyet.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: alugastiR on November 15, 2013, 08:27 am
Belgian professors find Fifty Shades of Grey has herpes (http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/11/14/professors-test-fifty-shades-of-grey-library-book-find-it-has-traces-of-herpes/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: codespyder on November 16, 2013, 01:05 pm
It's all over the Internet right now, and for good reason.

15,000 people turn out in San Francisco to help make a 5-year old cancer survivor's dream of being Batman for a day come true (http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-make-a-wish-foundation)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Mr Gale on November 21, 2013, 08:22 am
Irish bus driver defies IRA terrorist to save passengers and take a bomb on board to safer area (http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/nov/21/derry-bus-driver-bomb-selfless-heroine)

Not exactly love this story, with the "oh yeah the IRA are still murdering a lot of people, thats depressing" angle, but I thought that was pretty cool of the woman.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on November 29, 2013, 05:04 pm
During an update, a portion of an MMO's code was accidentally deleted, and no backup existed, resulting in the death of the game.

Holy Crap (http://kotaku.com/5859963/an-entire-mmo-was-accidentally-erased-from-the-internet)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: alugastiR on December 03, 2013, 06:46 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25185828


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on December 16, 2013, 05:30 pm
The Cavendish banana, the only banana most people know exists and the only one I've ever eaten, is under imminent threat of extinction. (http://www.nature.com/news/fungus-threatens-top-banana-1.14336)

This may seem like a weird thing to be happy about, but it's putting direct pressure on growers to experiment with more randomness and genetic diversity in their banana crops, including experimenting with new breeds of banana. It sucks for the big growers and hopefully a lot of people won't lose their jobs, but on the other hand forcing the growers to switch to new cultivars of banana would be a good thing for the overall health of the banana.

Quote
Industrial farms growing a single Cavendish cultivar are at a high risk of Foc-TR4 infestation, but the fungus poses less of a threat to the bulk of the bananas that provide a staple for some 400 million people worldwide.

Most of the bananas important for the food supply are grown by smallholder farmers in low-income countries and consumed locally. Hundreds of cultivars are farmed, and this biodiversity is an important rampart against disease.

Not to mention that the Cavendish is, by all accounts, a fairly bland, shitty banana to begin with.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on December 19, 2013, 06:44 pm
Man in KKK Costume Attacks Dame Edna Impersonator (http://southfloridagaynews.com/Local/updated-man-in-kkk-costume-attacks-wilton-manors-dame-edna-impersonator.html).

Actually, the story was shite but I just wanted to put the title out there.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on January 08, 2014, 09:15 pm
Cormac McCarthy's ex-wife brandishes gun pulled from vagina during argument about aliens (http://www.uproxx.com/filmdrunk/2014/01/cormac-mccarthys-ex-arrested-brandishing-gun-pulled-vagina-dispute-aliens/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on January 09, 2014, 03:09 pm
Oklahoma man charged with 'atomic wedgie' murder of stepfather (http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/01/08/us-usa-oklahoma-wedgie-idUSBREA071LI20140108).

Quote
Davis allegedly pulled the elastic waistband of St. Clair's underwear over his head and around his neck."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: 88FingersLouie on January 09, 2014, 08:31 pm
No story will ever possibly beat that


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on January 23, 2014, 07:24 pm
I assume everyone has seen this already, but just in case: CANNIBAL RAT GHOST SHIP (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/mystery-of-the-lyubov-orlova-ghost-ship-full-of-cannibal-rats-could-be-heading-for-british-coast-9080103.html)

I wonder if there are any other abandoned cruise ships drifting around international waters.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on January 24, 2014, 01:47 am
Melbourne firemen get called to Snoop's hotel room due to smoke alarms (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-01-24/firemen-called-to-smoking-snoop-doggs-room/5217886).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: FizzlePop on January 24, 2014, 06:20 am
That rat ghost ship story is most likely a myth though. Although there might be some loose ship around the chances of a colony of rats surviving on just each other without any other food sources for a year is really slim.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Zach on January 24, 2014, 12:11 pm
OH YEAH? (http://the-toast.net/2014/01/24/prove-the-ratboat-does-not-exist/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on January 24, 2014, 01:05 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0dFsAtAlEo


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on January 25, 2014, 02:24 am
I know, I know. But let me have this simple dream: the dream of a diseased rat cruise ship sailing around the sea. Little rats in sailor hats, rat shuffleboard and bingo. Rat disco. Rats in a algae-filled pool drinking tiiiiiiiiny cocktails and eating each other.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Lukeington on January 25, 2014, 07:24 am
They're newfie rats too so they can fuckin' drink


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on January 25, 2014, 07:41 am
That also explains the cannibalism.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on January 25, 2014, 07:57 am
That also explains the cannibalism incest.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on January 28, 2014, 02:33 pm
Methane gas released by German cows cause methane blast in Rasdorf (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25922514).



Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 28, 2014, 06:42 pm
In which Salon uses a racist code word in an article about the use of a racist code word.



(http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii246/pirhanasjello/racism_zps92e95bf7.png)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: EFHRK on January 28, 2014, 10:00 pm
After Crashing Into Crown Fried Chicken, Man Strips, Pleasures Himself (http://www.phillymag.com/news/2014/01/28/video-crashing-crown-fried-chicken-man-strips-pleasures/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on February 06, 2014, 04:24 am
Ice-T records 'Dungeons & Dragons' audiobook, calls it 'impossible to read' (http://www.theverge.com/2014/2/5/5384000/ice-t-records-dungeons-dragons-audiobook)

Quote
As he recounts on his podcast, the fantasy book proved a daunting challenge for the Law & Order: SVU star. "Dungeons & Dragons is some of the most crazy, deep, deep, deep nerd shit ever invented," he explains. "Every word you're saying is made up. Motherfuckers talk like Yoda."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on February 11, 2014, 02:58 am
Hardly news but I don't care: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/children-read-out-loud-to-cats-in-adorable-pictures-9119268.html


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Remington Lonespear on February 11, 2014, 01:15 pm
From the sidebar

Kristen Stewart wrote worst poem of all time 'about a year ago' (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/kristen-stewart-writes-worst-poem-of-all-time-9121635.html) (she realizes it's terrible, but it still needs to be shared)

Quote
My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole, By Kristen Stewart

I reared digital moonlight
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black
Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen
Thrown down to strafe your foothills
…I’ll suck the bones pretty.

Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps
Spray painted everything known to man
Stream rushed through and all out into
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck
Through our windows boarded up
He hit your flint face and it sparked.

And I bellowed and you parked
We reached Marfa
One honest day up on this freedom pole
Devils not done digging
He’s speaking in tongues all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in

My eyes
And I’m drunk on your morsels
And so I look down the line
Your every twitch hand drum salute
Salutes mine.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on February 11, 2014, 08:37 pm
Continuing the trend of not-news, Lorde's suppressed grammy acceptance speech (http://snoopman.wordpress.com/2014/02/06/lordes-suppressed-grammy-award-acceptance-speech-full-transcript-26-january-2014/)

not real don't care i want to believe


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: nak on February 24, 2014, 08:37 pm
Bars here were open at 6 a.m. yesterday for the olympic hockey game. Here is the result.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/02/24/rob-ford-runs-groin-first-into-fire-hydrant-while-celebrating-canadas-gold-medal/ (http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/02/24/rob-ford-runs-groin-first-into-fire-hydrant-while-celebrating-canadas-gold-medal/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on February 26, 2014, 01:14 pm
The largest Bitcoin exchange lost hundreds of millions of dollars (at an imaginary exchange rate, granted) in Bitcoins. (http://www.businessweek.com/articles/2014-02-26/where-did-the-bitcoins-go-the-mt-dot-gox-shutdown-explained?google_editors_picks=true)

The number of Bitcoins lost? "They’d amount to about 6 percent of the Bitcoins in existence."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on February 26, 2014, 06:03 pm
and all because the main guy at mt gox thought it'd be a good idea to make his own SSH server in three days using (what I am told is) totally the wrong language

genius


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on February 27, 2014, 10:17 pm
The "stolen" Giant Mango has been found. Someone was cooking meth in it. (http://www.epicinter.net/makeshift-meth-mango-lab-found-inside-bowens-giant-3-storey-high-mango-following-theft/)

I don't know if it's real and I don't care, this is glorious and the best way for a shoddy PR stunt to end.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on April 01, 2014, 03:10 pm
"Florida GOP Candidate Moonlights As Vampire Role-Player 'Chazz Darling'" (http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/florida-gop-candidate-vampire-role-player)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on April 06, 2014, 08:39 pm
Neo-nazis try to prove how easy it is for refugees to enter Italy by boat, nearly drown, have to get rescued by the cost guard. (http://www.independent.com.mt/articles/2014-04-06/news/lega-nord-activists-sortie-on-tunisia-flounders-in-farce-off-malta-4517920768/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on April 06, 2014, 09:06 pm
Neo-Nazi activist banned from party for having sex with a black dude in a porno, then banned from the porn industry for being a Nazi (http://dailycaller.com/2014/03/29/nazi-porn-queen-banned-by-german-neo-nazi-party-for-porn-sex-with-black-dude/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on April 15, 2014, 01:43 pm

London barber shop gets a visit from North Korean embassy officials after posting advert (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-27038723).

(http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/74251000/jpg/_74251310_74251309.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on June 12, 2014, 08:08 pm
Kids break into community radio station late at night and broadcast an impromptu show mainly consisting of swearing (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-06-13/children-swear-live-to-air-during-radio-station-break-in/5520026).

Quote
Ms Stahl said the children appear to have entered through a window in her house, which adjoins the studios.

While in the house they ate some chicken nuggets and dyed their hair.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on June 22, 2014, 02:52 am
The internet is getting real fucking mad (http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/rainbow-cake-recipe-inspires-comment-apocalypse-1592575661/+AlbertBurneko) about rainbow cake everything, again


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on July 10, 2014, 12:28 pm
A "die-hard Uber fan" gets kidnapped by an Uber driver in a high-speed chase. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/dr-gridlock/wp/2014/07/09/man-visiting-d-c-says-uber-driver-took-him-on-wild-ride/?tid=pm_local_pop)

It was in DC too, so now every time someone tries to get an Uber I'm going to warn them about their driver kidnapping them.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on July 10, 2014, 08:16 pm
After Robin Thicke's Paula only sold 530 copies in the UK, it then only sells 54 copies in Australia. (http://www.theguardian.com/music/2014/jul/10/robin-thicke-paula-54-copies-australia)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on July 17, 2014, 04:32 pm
A comet probe just sent back the first image of the comet. The space agency people commented they thought it looked like a weird potato or a rubber duck, because apparently none of them wanted to admit it looks like it has a giant asscrack. (http://news.yahoo.com/comet-chasing-space-probe-makes-surprise-discovery-121012797.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 20, 2014, 12:15 pm
Tobacco company hit with multi-billion dollar verdict in single civil case. (http://www.cbsnews.com/news/r-j-reynolds-tobacco-hit-for-billions-in-michael-johnson-sr-lawsuit/)

It's basically the exact plot of The Runaway Jury.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 21, 2014, 04:36 pm
This is the greatest headline ever:

Nude beach blow job jet ski fight leads to wife's death (http://gawker.com/nude-beach-blow-job-jet-ski-fight-leads-to-wife-s-death-1608253016)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 23, 2014, 10:52 am
George Harrison memorial tree destroyed by beetle infestation (http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/george-harrison-memorial-tree-overrun-killed-beetles-n161876)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on July 24, 2014, 03:30 pm
The council in a small town in America has opened a filling station to provide competition to prevent price-gouging. (http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/07/24/price-gouging-businesses-cry-socialism-after-ky-drivers-flock-to-city-run-gas-station/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 24, 2014, 03:34 pm
The best part is where the existing business owners call it socialism that they now have to compete with the lower prices.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on July 26, 2014, 02:16 pm
 Russia loses control of gecko sex experiment satellite (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-28490744).

Quote
The five geckos are in space for a study of the effect of weightlessness on their sex lives and development.

I believe they mean the satellite has stopped responding, rather than sex-crazed geckos have taken control after a mutiny.

But I hope I'm wrong.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Matt on July 26, 2014, 08:36 pm
Planet of the Geckos


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on July 27, 2014, 01:55 am
There's got to be at least one really specific fetishist getting off at this news.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RummyLu on July 27, 2014, 02:06 am
It's me!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on July 27, 2014, 04:23 am
I said "really specific" not "eager for anything"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RummyLu on July 27, 2014, 06:20 am
Still me!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on August 04, 2014, 02:04 pm
US police detain giant tortoise after brief chase (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-28635902).

Quote
"The tortoise did try to make a run for it, but our officers are pretty fast," said the Alhambra Police Department


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: nameinuse2 on August 04, 2014, 06:44 pm
"A drunk woman on a Scotland-bound flight took off her false leg and started swinging it at cabin crew after staff refused her demands for cigarettes and a parachute." (http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-incidents/drunk-woman-attacks-cabin-crew-with-false-leg-20140801-3cxz4.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on August 07, 2014, 07:50 am
Quotes from a Kanye deposition range from hilarious (http://gawker.com/kanye-west-declares-himself-smarter-than-britney-spears-1617045346):
Quote
I'm the smartest celebrity you've ever fucking dealt with. I'm not Britney Spears,

to horrible:
Quote
lawyer asks West if he believes the celebrity struggle is equivalent to that of blacks in the 60s, to which he responds "Yes, 100... I equate it to discrimination. I equate it to inequalities."


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on August 28, 2014, 04:57 am
Lady discovers The Colossal Pillar of Wasp Eggs in her spare bedroom (http://www.hampshirechronicle.co.uk/news/11432216.5_000_wasps_found_in_Winchester_bedroom/?ref=var_0)

(http://www.hampshirechronicle.co.uk/resources/images/3222444/?htype=0)



Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on August 28, 2014, 11:54 pm
Check again, that is The  Colossal  Pillow  of  Wasp  Eggs


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on September 08, 2014, 08:39 pm
This is another for the category of "don't love the story, but what a headline"

Reporter beaten for asking soccer star if he ritually sacrificed rapper (http://screamer.deadspin.com/reporter-beaten-for-asking-soccer-star-if-he-ritually-s-1631882996)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: boron on September 12, 2014, 10:46 am
Grandmas keep accidentally tagging themselves as Grandmaster Flash on Facebook (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/lists/grandmas-keep-accidentally-tagging-themselves-as-grandmaster-flash-on-facebook-9728582.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on September 12, 2014, 02:49 pm
Indian authorities probe how Hanuman, the monkey god, has been issued a biometric identity card. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-29175870)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ishliquor on September 17, 2014, 07:53 am
Who wouldn't love a story about an estate agent getting fired for stealing a chocolate bar? (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/estate-agent-steals-galaxy-chocolate-from-flat-explains-himself-blood-sugar-low-9737017.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on September 17, 2014, 07:56 pm
If you legitimately suffer from dizziness and fainting related to low blood sugar, thats at least within the realm of reasonable justification to take such a small liberty. But if thats really what happened, why not leave a note of apology explaining you have a medical condition and a couple dollars (or quid or whatever you call them) in remuneration? Few would ever begrudge you something so trivial if you were at least polite about it.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ripper on September 18, 2014, 03:02 am
Libertarians act out Atlas Shrugged IRL, lose all their money (http://www.addictinginfo.org/2014/09/15/libertarian-utopia-styled-after-ayn-rand-book-spectacularly-falls-apart-almost-immediately/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Remington Lonespear on September 18, 2014, 03:37 am
Kid cries in court, judge will have none of it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b90GQUmOhNY


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on September 18, 2014, 04:33 am
I think the libertarian story should have its own thread, just so I could fill it with posts that say nothing but "hahahahahahahahaha"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 18, 2014, 05:28 am
(https://scontent-b-hkg.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/10698588_530780681292_642482861832729920_n.jpg?oh=f88cb136dabff0dec26e3ead03b7d8cf&oe=548EBDD7)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on September 19, 2014, 01:56 pm
wow lee, you are a sick man


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on September 20, 2014, 08:05 am
Papa Roach's Lead Singer Got Herpes From Kissing His Uncle (http://uproxx.com/music/2014/09/papa-roachs-lead-singer-got-herpes-from-kissing-his-uncle/)

because of course


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ishliquor on October 02, 2014, 04:07 pm
The British National Party kicks out their leader, Nick Griffin. (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-politics-29453341)

Quote
He accused the party of "operating outside the constitution", adding that he would "ignore their plastic gangster games".


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on October 08, 2014, 07:49 pm
http://www.kptv.com/story/26729956/man-openly-carrying-new-gun-in-gresham-robbed-by-armed-man (http://www.kptv.com/story/26729956/man-openly-carrying-new-gun-in-gresham-robbed-by-armed-man)
Quote
Investigators said the 21-year-old victim bought a handgun earlier in the day and was openly carrying it while talking to his cousin.

They said a man approached them and asked for a cigarette. Talk eventually turned to the victim's new purchase, before the robber pulled his own gun from his waistband and said, "I like your gun, give it to me," according to police.
OPEN CARRY WORKS!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Chronicles on October 08, 2014, 08:01 pm
Amazing


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Citizen Snips on October 10, 2014, 02:32 pm
"A Fort Worth man has been sentenced to eight years in prison following a slow-speed police chase in which he drove a stolen forklift down Interstate 30 while throwing beer bottles at authorities."

My hero. (http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2014/10/09/man-gets-8-years-for-slow-speed-forklift-chase/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Katastrophikus on October 13, 2014, 12:50 am
The fun of taking a Nobel Prize through Airport Security (http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/2014/10/10/nobel-prize-airport-security/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on November 17, 2014, 06:09 pm
This is as good a place as any to share this TimeCube esque celebrity interview.

http://gawker.com/every-single-thing-about-this-jaden-and-willow-smith-in-1659778012


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on December 03, 2014, 05:52 pm
I don't love the domestic violence, but I do love the weaponized McChicken sandwich. (http://boingboing.net/2014/12/03/man-who-used-mcdonalds-mcchi.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on December 03, 2014, 11:33 pm
http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/12/gun-nut-yells-at-cops-conducting-dui-checkpoint-later-hit-by-drunk-driver-on-way-home/
Quote
A Texas gun-rights activist avoided serious injury over the weekend when a suspected drunken driver slammed into him after leaving his observation of a DUI checkpoint.

Kory Watkins, a “cop watcher” and president of the Open Carry Tarrant County group, said he was on his way home from a protest at a traffic safety checkpoint set up by Arlington police when he was struck from behind by another vehicle.

“A drunk driver was going around 100 mph and smashed into the back of me,” Watkins said on his Facebook page. “I could not control the car, I went sideways, then flipped 3 times, hit a cement piller to stop my roll and put me in a ditch on The side of (Interstate) 287. I was 2 miles from being home. I am incredible lucky to be breathing. I can’t tell you how lucky I am to be alive.”

Watkins had been alerting other drivers to the checkpoint — which courts have upheld as constitutional but the libertarian activist describes as revenue-generating scheme — and shouting “You criminals!” at officers as they stopped drivers.

He later thanked officers for checking on his well-being after the crash, although he was ticketed for driving without a valid license.

“I don’t ask for permission to drive a car I paid for on a road I paid for,” Watkins said.

He posted on Facebook that he did not advocate drinking and driving, but he also said he didn’t believe there should be laws against drunken driving.

Watkins lashed out at his critics who pointed out the layers of irony in the incident.

“I see a few sick I individuals taken time to think this is a joke or it’s funny that the cops helped me,” Watkins said. “Let me say this. I am happy the police showed up to catch him but I’m trying to figure out where they helped me any….. Was it the part where they showed up 15 minutes after the crime or was it when they wrote me a 300$ ticket after my car was totaled?”

“Any sick f*ck that thinks this is the time to crack irony jokes can go the hell away,” Watkins continued. “I’m lucky to be alive. There are some sick people that try to take a situation and spin it to fit their beliefs when they don’t know crap. Some sick people …. Mother f*cker almost dies and people are joking about it. Disgusting.”

Here's a picture of him from a few months back:
(http://i.imgur.com/peAgHD7.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on December 04, 2014, 05:09 am
Quote
He posted on Facebook that he did not advocate drinking and driving, but he also said he didn’t believe there should be laws against drunken driving.

Quote
“I see a few sick I individuals taken time to think this is a joke or it’s funny that the cops helped me,” Watkins said. “Let me say this. I am happy the police showed up to catch him but I’m trying to figure out where they helped me any….. Was it the part where they showed up 15 minutes after the crime or was it when they wrote me a 300$ ticket after my car was totaled?”

that's some fantastic cognitive dissonance


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on December 04, 2014, 01:23 pm
It's hidden in there, but apparently he also doesn't believe in driver's licenses.

Quote
I don’t ask for permission to drive a car I paid for on a road I paid for

I'm not sure even Ron Paul opposes that one.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on December 04, 2014, 11:13 pm
The tyranny of drivers' licenses is a common libertarian/separatist/freemen complaint. That, and other traffic misdemeanours is often how they end up in court. It's the logical outcome of taking the privileges of society without accepting any of its responsibilities.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on December 07, 2014, 10:01 am
Woman's sex noises stopped by court order (http://www.cbsnews.com/news/caroline-cartwright-to-face-prison-for-loud-sex/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on December 16, 2014, 03:51 pm
Methane 'belches' detected on Mars (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-30456664)

I wondered why I hadn't seen BondFictionInglewood for a while.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on December 16, 2014, 10:06 pm
i'm right bloody here ya tosser


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on December 19, 2014, 03:24 pm
So there's a minor feud between Rand Paul and Marco Rubio over whether (http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/dec/19/rand-paul-trolls-marco-rubio-on-twitter-as-cuba-fe/#ixzz3MNRtR9bi) or not we should be opening our diplomacy with Cuba:

Quote
Rand Paul wrote, Talking Points Memo found: “Senator Marco Rubio believes the embargo against Cuba has been ineffective, yet wants to continue perpetuating failed policies. After 50 years of conflict, why not try a new approach? The United States trades and engages with other communist nations, such as China and Vietnam. Why not Cuba? I am a proponent of peace through commerce and I believe engaging Cuba can lead to positive change.”


This is the first comment:
Quote
Re: 'The United States trades and engages with other communist nations, such as China and Vietnam. So @marcorubio why not Cuba'.
Isn't that a rather puerile response? My children learned, way back in grade school, that, 'Everybody else is doing it' and similar whines were unacceptable. Perhaps both boys need to be sent to their rooms without supper.

I don't even know what to say.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on December 19, 2014, 04:43 pm
In which a woman licks whipped cream out of a strangers ass crack to win tickets to an EDM concert. (NSFW for pic of said licking) (http://gawker.com/radio-station-apologizes-for-letting-a-dj-get-a-rimjob-1673287608)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: jimbob on December 20, 2014, 04:17 pm
http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/nigel-farage-is-being-followed-around-by-a-man-dressed-as-jesus--ey0iO16uKx


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on December 21, 2014, 11:14 pm
http://mobile.abc.net.au/news/2014-12-22/captive-orangutan-has-human-right-to-freedom/5983440


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on December 22, 2014, 03:10 am
Ghostface Killah performs impromptu show at grilled cheese shop called toastface grillah in my town (https://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/25839419/ghostface-killah-plays-at-toastface-grillah/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on December 26, 2014, 11:08 am
Baby Jesus stolen, replaced with real pig's head (http://www.cnn.com/2014/12/26/us/massachusetts-stolen-baby-jesus?sr=tw126214babyjesusstolen10astoryphoto)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on December 28, 2014, 11:44 am
A 32-year-old man is recovering after being attacked with a bright red tire iron near a Porta Potty (http://www.wjla.com/articles/2014/12/ex-girlfriend-secret-teen-lovers-nearly-bludgeon-man-to-death-outside-porta-potty-police-say-110124.html)

This should by all means not be hilarious. I mean a guy almost got beaten to death. But the story is so bizarre and the writing in the article is so dryly humorous that I can't help but laugh my ass off


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Joseph Nistal on December 29, 2014, 10:48 pm
Drunk birds slur their songs (http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2014/12/29/scientists-show-that-drunk-birds-slur-their-songs/).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 02, 2015, 06:17 pm
In which a supposedly feminist site posts a picture shaming a girl on TV for "probably cheating," only to find out that their interpretation was wrong, when the truth was reported by their own fucking parent site. (http://jezebel.com/did-this-osu-fan-get-caught-on-live-tv-with-her-sidepie-1677079353)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on January 04, 2015, 05:18 pm
not to take a shit in your cornflakes there JRB but Jez's hot take looks to me to be more devoted to figuring out alternative, hilarious explanations, rather than shaming

also I don't see the words "probably cheating" anywhere on that page


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 04, 2015, 06:35 pm
"[probably cheating]"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Karlski on January 05, 2015, 05:29 am
really though I just wanted to say "not to take a shit in your cornflakes"


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 05, 2015, 07:51 am
In that case, lets move this to the food forum, so I can say eat shit.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on January 06, 2015, 02:09 pm
A city councilman where I live (http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/politics/bs-md-frederick-delauter-20150106-story.html) is threatening to sue the local paper if they "use his name without permission".

In response, the paper's Editorial Board wrote this (http://www.fredericknewspost.com/news/politics_and_government/kirby-delauter-kirby-delauter-kirby-delauter/article_da85d6f4-fa3c-524f-bbf6-8e5ddc0d1c0a.html), where they use his name around 30 times. There's also a fun easter egg:

(click to show/hide)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Illiterati on January 08, 2015, 10:46 am
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/manila-traffic-enforcers-wear-diapers-popes-visit-28055094 (http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/manila-traffic-enforcers-wear-diapers-popes-visit-28055094)

Quote
When Pope Francis visits the Philippines next week, traffic enforcers won't let the capital's streets get gridlocked if they have to answer the call of nature.

About 2,000 traffic enforcers who will be on duty during the Jan. 15-19 papal visit will be required to wear adult diapers, said Metropolitan Manila Development Authority chairman Francis Tolentino.

Tolentino also encouraged people who will wait for hours to see the pope to also wear diapers.

The prospect of wearing diapers while on duty was "well received" by his men, he said Wednesday.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Illiterati on January 08, 2015, 10:51 am
AAAAAAAHHHH


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 08, 2015, 10:54 am
Well it's nice to know that if you get tackled to the ground and harassed, at least you're not the one with a dook in his shorts.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Author on January 08, 2015, 12:03 pm
But will Pope be wearing diapers?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on January 08, 2015, 05:48 pm
Nah, sometimes he's swimming around in his popemobile like a goldfish in a giant bowl of pope pee.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on January 10, 2015, 11:21 pm
I thought he usually shits in the woods


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on January 11, 2015, 07:06 am
http://m.fasterlouder.com.au/news/41593/Punk-band-find-and-return-stolen-art-worth-250-000


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on January 16, 2015, 04:59 pm
NASCAR driver claims his ex is a professional assassin. (http://espn.go.com/racing/nascar/cup/story/_/id/12161197/kurt-busch-says-ex-girlfriend-patricia-driscoll-was-trained-assassin)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: HyperGlavin on February 14, 2015, 05:22 am
www.abc.net.au/news/2015-02-14/japanese-men-protest-valentines-day-/6101788


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on February 19, 2015, 02:44 pm
Indian monkey set to inherit fortune from ostracised couple (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-31530040).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Matt on February 23, 2015, 10:46 pm

Obviously fake Jim Carrey attends a Czech movie award ceremony (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2965252/Dumb-dumber-Czech-version-Oscars-duped-inviting-FAKE-Jim-Carrey-stage-awards-ceremony-broadcast-live-TV.html?ito=social-facebook).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Truck Thunders on March 04, 2015, 07:55 pm
In which the Huffington Post saddles a thinly-veiled advertisement for a Science Channel show with a fucking ridiculous headline. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/04/are-we-alone-science-channel_n_6786826.html)

I hope you feel good about yourself, Ariana.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: DiegoInglewood on March 06, 2015, 12:13 am
Man Who Burned Face Praying Over Sizzling Fajitas Can't Sue Applebee's (http://gawker.com/man-who-burned-face-praying-over-sizzling-fajitas-cant-1689690702)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Ishliquor on March 08, 2015, 12:21 pm
Applebee's never gives you more than you can handle.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: fermun on March 11, 2015, 03:11 am
http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2015/03/transgender_members_welcome_in.html (http://www.mlive.com/news/saginaw/index.ssf/2015/03/transgender_members_welcome_in.html)
Quote
MIDLAND, MI -- A Midland County woman's gym membership was canceled after she refused to stop telling fellow gym members "a man" was using the woman's locker room.

Yvette Cormier said the incident occurred Saturday, Feb. 28, when she entered the women's locker room at the Planet Fitness location at 701 Joe Mann Boulevard in Midland.

"I was blocked, because a man was standing there," Cormier said. "It freaked me out because, why is a man in here?"

Cormier said an employee at the front desk told her that the individual identifies as a woman.

After taking her complaints to Planet Fitness' corporate office, Cormier said she was told that the gym was a "no judgement zone" and they would not tell the individual in question to stay out of the women's locker room. The person has not been identified.

The slogan "Judgement Free Zone" is regularly used by Planet Fitness.

A statement released by McCall Gosselin, public relations director for Planet Fitness, states that members can use the locker room corresponding with their personal gender identity.

Cormier disagrees with the policy and feels it's a safety issue.

According to Cormier, she returned to the gym each day between Monday and Thursday. While there, Cormier said she told women in the locker room about the individual she observed in the bathroom the weekend before.

Cormier said she then got a call from Planet Fitness' corporate office telling her that she was violating their "no judgement" policy. She says they asked if she was going to stop talking to other women in the locker room and she said she would not.

Cormier said the representative told her she was no longer welcome at the gym.

The statement released by Gosselin confirms that Cormier's actions led to the cancellation of her membership, though the statement does not go into details of the situation.

Here is a look at the statement, in full:

"Planet Fitness is committed to creating a non-intimidating, welcoming environment for our members. Our gender identity non-discrimination policy states that members and guests may use all gym facilities based on their sincere self-reported gender identity. The manner in which this member expressed her concerns about the policy exhibited behavior that management at the Midland club deemed inappropriate and disruptive to other members, which is a violation of the membership agreement and as a result her membership was cancelled."

"I feel it's kind of one sided," Cormier said about the policy. "I feel like I am the one who is being punished."

She feels Planet Fitness could provide a third locker room for transgender people.

The women's locker room offers private changing stalls and includes bathroom stalls with doors.

According to Alison Gill, senior legislative council for the Human Rights Campaign, the gym is within its rights to create a policy that welcomes members to use the locker room corresponding with their gender identity.

"They have that right," she said.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on March 13, 2015, 04:10 pm
South Africans perform first 'successful' penis transplant (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-31876219).

Marvellous surgery, but I'd feel a bit uncomfortable having a wank.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Lukeington on March 13, 2015, 05:06 pm
yeah, you'd have to be careful you don't pull it off


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on March 13, 2015, 07:27 pm
(http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a205/timotes253/softball.jpg)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: pingollum on March 16, 2015, 05:13 pm
that cat has serious issues (http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/mar/16/cathedral-cat-under-suspicion-following-dog-attacks-in-wells)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on March 17, 2015, 03:06 pm
BA flight forced to land early because of smelly poo (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/31908620).

How much must it have stunk for the pilot to turn back, worried for the safety of his airliner?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on March 26, 2015, 11:53 am
I love this story for real, because this is exactly how this should have ended.

Racist Chant Guy meets with civil rights leaders and issues a sincere apology aimed at better understanding of why what he did was wrong. (http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/03/26/leader-of-racist-fraternity-chant-apologizes-to-black-community/?tid=pm_national_pop)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: evilspud on April 26, 2015, 08:48 am
In Afghanistan, girls are forbidden from riding bikes. There was only one option...

(http://i100.independent.co.uk/image/19289-19lqtj9.jpg)

(http://i100.independent.co.uk/image/19289-1goprsa.jpg)

(http://i100.independent.co.uk/image/19289-mwaue2.jpg)

SKATEISTAN (http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/in-afghanistan-girls-cant-ride-a-bike-but-they-are-allowed-to-skateboard--lJYGDblkxZ)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Lukeington on June 01, 2015, 08:50 am
 Suspended senator Patrick Brazeau body slammed through a table by ‘The Death Dealer’ (http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/suspended-senator-patrick-brazeau-body-slammed-through-a-table-by-the-death-dealer)

(https://nationalpostcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/0531_brazeau_030.jpg?w=600&h=400)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on June 04, 2015, 02:27 pm
Cocaine in sewage: London tops league table (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-33009682).

Quote
on average, drug users in London relieved themselves of 737mg of cocaine per 1,000 people during the week in 2014.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on June 27, 2015, 08:24 pm
CNN mistakes dildo covered ISIS-parody flag at a pride rally for actual ISIS flag. (http://gawker.com/cnn-mistakes-isis-style-dildo-flag-at-pride-parade-for-1714409153)

Courtesy of someone in Snips's Facebook feed.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on July 16, 2015, 03:02 pm
'Drunk' squirrel causes hundreds of pounds of damage (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-33541502)

(picture posed by model)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on July 22, 2015, 01:17 am
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xta1/v/t1.0-9/11214227_538910928212_8801369030445805020_n.jpg?oh=e2194555ada975dd255622f79884eb0a&oe=56580B63)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on July 24, 2015, 09:52 am
I'm really having a hard time telling if this is satire, or serious.

The Washington Post on why Air Conditioning is THE PATRIARCHY (https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/frigid-offices-freezing-women-oblivious-men-an-air-conditioning-investigation/2015/07/23/bdd1b4b4-30ae-11e5-97ae-30a30cca95d7_story.html).


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on August 01, 2015, 02:41 pm
In which businesspeople complain that a business implementing an egalitarian (i.e. socialist) wage strategy will cause problematic competition for employees with their own businesses. Because as we know, all competition that threatens existing power structures is inherently UNFAIR.

Cognitive Dissonance 101 (http://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/02/business/a-company-copes-with-backlash-against-the-raise-that-roared.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: oball on September 21, 2015, 08:30 am
David Cameron fucked a dead pig (http://www.smh.com.au/world/david-cameron-engaged-in-obscene-act-with-pigs-head-when-a-student-book-claims-20150921-gjr7hz.html)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on September 21, 2015, 04:31 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DKGqVEDBqg


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: RockinJoe12 on September 26, 2015, 09:27 pm
Police apologise for using sirens to settle argument over whether they go 'nee-naw' or 'woo-woo' (http://www.newstalk.com/Police-apologise-for-using-sirens-to-settle-argument-over-whether-they-go-neenaw-or-woowoo)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on October 07, 2015, 11:21 am
Brian Blessed: I delivered a baby in a park in the 1960s (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-34465916).

Now PuuuuuuuuUUUUUSSSSSHHH!!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: evilspud on October 08, 2015, 09:09 pm
A ship's cook is rescued from the bottom of the ocean after spending sixty hours trapped in an air bubble. (http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=51e_1385934620) He's rescued at 5:30, but I don't want to spoil why I love this video so much.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: George Tirebiter on October 14, 2015, 05:02 pm
Street artists hired to decorate Homeland set write graffiti denouncing the show for racism. (http://www.hebaamin.com/arabian-street-artists-bomb-homeland-why-we-hacked-an-award-winning-series/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on October 14, 2015, 09:01 pm
Man tries to put out garbage fire by driving over it in a van loaded with ammunition (http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/article39003903.html)

It has a not-surprise ending.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Katastrophikus on February 19, 2016, 01:51 am
Men are more succeptible to the Donning-Kruger effect, apparently (http://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/02/male-biology-students-underestimate-their-female-peers/462924/)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on March 11, 2016, 03:45 pm

Japanese Tits Speak in Phrases (http://www.sci-news.com/biology/japanese-tits-parus-minor-speak-in-phrases-03685.html)

I am easily amused.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on March 21, 2016, 06:24 pm
Two random dudes bring gifts to the new parents who wrong-numbered them into a group text birth announcement. (http://www.people.com/article/strangers-text-newborn-visit)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on March 22, 2016, 04:49 pm
Currently leading the competition to name a new £200m research vessel; Boaty McBoatface (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-35860760)

More than 27,000 votes, while the second place pick trails with around 3,000.

The names Pingu, Usain Boat and It's Bloody Cold Here have also been put forward.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: evilspud on March 24, 2016, 12:25 pm
I love how the guy who suggested the name is completely ashamed of what he did while everyone is telling him "Lol no dude this is awesome." 


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on April 15, 2016, 05:35 pm
UK airport sniffer dogs good at finding sausages, but not drugs.  (http://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-dogs-drugs-idUKKCN0XB196)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: BSam on April 20, 2016, 07:42 am
http://thespinoff.co.nz/18-04-2016/that-moment-when-youre-in-the-dock-and-the-judge-makes-you-read-your-facebook-post-in-which-you-call-him-a-fn-ct/


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on April 21, 2016, 03:30 pm
BSam's post also has links to the ongoing story of journalists hunting for clues in the search for the Waitangi Dildo (https://www.tvnz.co.nz/one-news/new-zealand/tpp-protester-boldly-chucks-dildo-at-steven-joyce-waitangi)


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on April 21, 2016, 03:39 pm
I saw those links too. Any police report that describes a rubber penis is a good day for the force.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on May 06, 2016, 02:37 pm
Currently leading the competition to name a new £200m research vessel; Boaty McBoatface (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-35860760)

Well, 'Boaty' won the poll, but they decided to name the ship the 'Sir David Attenborough' which is cool too, as that awesome dude is 90 this year.

However, guess what they decided to name the research vessel's remote-controlled sub (http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2016/05/06/meet-boaty-mcboatface-drone-submarine.html)?


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on May 27, 2016, 06:02 pm
Giant caterpillar web cordoned off after becoming visitor attraction (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-36399909)
Quote
Visitors from as far away as Motherwell have travelled to see the unusual sight.

From Motherwell! Holy cow!


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on June 03, 2016, 03:36 pm
Priest suspended after drunken night out (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36445522)

Quote
The Reverend Gareth Jones swore at officers and claimed he had diplomatic immunity from the Vatican when he was arrested two weeks ago.

A paramedic found him passed out in his clerical clothes on Charing Cross Road, in Covent Garden, central London.

He had drunk three bottles of wine, several pints of beer, a number of gin and tonics and vodka.




Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Johnny Roastbeef on June 04, 2016, 11:27 am
I particularly like that he's an Anglican claiming diplomatic immunity from the Vatican. That ship sailed with Henry VIII, dude.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on September 28, 2016, 05:50 pm
Spider bites Australian man on penis...again (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481251)

Quote
I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on December 05, 2016, 04:31 pm

 Stray goat goes wild at Carrickfergus shop (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-38205945)

Quote
"It seemed to want to break into the shop and it was staring straight at me."



Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on March 10, 2017, 02:53 pm
A washing machine has been launched for the Indian market, with a special mode to tackle curry stains. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-39176358)

Trust me, turmeric is a bitch.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Wibblewobble on April 05, 2017, 11:47 am
Shia LaBeouf film Man Down makes £7 in opening weekend (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39501196)

Opened on 1 screen, sold 1 ticket.


Title: Re: News Stories That You Love
Post by: Katastrophikus on April 08, 2017, 11:20 pm
More like Shia le Dud, amarite?